RELATIONSHIP
Why Guys Start Caring Once You Stop Caring
We hear it constantly: Relationships require you to “be vulnerable” with your partner. This advice is repeated so often that it has almost become background noise in dating. This is along with other common phrases like “communication is key” and “relationships take hard work.”
Despite being a buzzword, vulnerability is a complex concept. It’s also a trait that doesn’t come easily or naturally to everyone.
What does it mean to be vulnerable?
In relationships, being vulnerable means showing someone exactly who you are and how you feel without disguise, bravado, or ego defences, exposing yourself to the possibility of hurt or rejection.
Being vulnerable means you make a conscious decision not to hide yourself. This is risky because you can’t control how others will respond to you. It means others see who you truly are, and if they aren’t able to accept you, appreciate your complexity, or they judge or reject you, it hurts deeply.
Being vulnerable with someone means risking being your true self.
People struggle with vulnerability because they fear getting hurt, typically in the form of rejection, judgment, or betrayal from others. You may begin to put on a brave face, act indifferent, suppress emotions, or step into a role meant to protect yourself from these risks.
The irony is, when you do this, you end up robbing yourself of the intimacy, connection, community, and love of the people who have the bandwidth and capacity to accept you as you are.
How can you be emotionally vulnerable?
- Directly telling someone that you think they’re cool and are interested in getting to know them better
- Letting someone know that something they said hurt your feelings
- Telling someone when you’re feeling ashamed or embarrassed
- Acknowledging when you’ve made a mistake and apologizing for it
- Asking for feedback on a project you care a lot about and worked hard on
- Opening up to someone about an experience of trauma or hardship
- Asking someone for help
- Telling a friend that your relationship has been rocky lately and asking for support
- Listening to someone explain a way in which you’ve hurt them, without trying to explain what happened or defend your character
- Letting people know about your insecurities or struggles
- Allowing yourself to feel hopeful and excited about a budding relationship, even though things are still new and uncertain
- Setting a boundary with someone
- Talking openly about your negative emotions—such as anger, fear, disappointment, or jealousy—without trying to cover them up or deflect from them
- Telling someone about a time when someone made you feel small
- Believing and trusting in someone completely, putting your faith in them that they’ll come through for you
7 ways to be more vulnerable in a relationship
1. Get to know your inner world better
To show people your true self, you first need to know your true self. This begins with exploring yourself beyond your default attitudes. Pay attention to your knee-jerk reactions when something positive or negative happens. Ask yourself, “If I didn’t hide behind this reaction, is there more going on here for me?”
Allow yourself to recognize how you feel in different situations, tune in to your body, and practice saying how you genuinely feel about things out loud. It can be surprisingly powerful to say, “I feel angry toward my sister” or “I feel scared of being alone” because often, we don’t even allow ourselves to be vulnerable with ourselves.
2. Say how you really feel about things
Once you’re more in touch with your own emotions, start sharing them with others. Practice telling your partner how you really feel about things, even if it seems silly.
If you miss your partner, send them a text and let them know; if your partner hurt your feelings with a small comment this morning, tell them honestly how it felt. If you really enjoy hanging out with him/her, let them know.
3. Accept the risk
The truth is that being vulnerable means accepting the risk of getting hurt. This means you can’t always wait for a situation where you’re perfectly safe or certain that you won’t get judged or rejected.
There’s always a degree of risk involved when you’re genuine and honest. Even if you’re vulnerable and it doesn’t end up creating intimacy and connection, or it isn’t received well, that’s okay. Being vulnerable doesn’t guarantee that things will go your way in all your relationships.
Learn to practice acceptance for these moments and build tolerance for the emotions that may accompany them.
4. Work on healing your attachment wounds
The fear of abandonment or getting hurt by others often stems from past experiences where that very thing happened. These are sometimes known as attachment issues, and it can help to explore these wounds with a mental health professional.
The goal is to develop what’s known as a secure attachment style. A securely attached person tends to be much more comfortable with vulnerability. They know that it is OK to need or depend on others, and they value being needed in return.
Intimacy and vulnerability are not a challenge, as a securely attached individual has a strong sense of self and isn’t dictated by fear of rejection or a fear of losing themselves.
5. Invite feedback from others
Asking your partner (or anyone) to give you their honest thoughts about you, your work, or your behaviour is an intensely vulnerable act—but it’s also something that can lead to more intimacy and accountability in your relationship.
When asking for feedback, be approachable and accountable. Expressing yourself vulnerably while inviting feedback could improve your connections. It gives people a chance to express themselves and convey any roadblocks or areas of friction.
6. Be upfront about the things you want
Vulnerability in dating can simply look like prioritizing your truth. It isn’t just about pouring your heart out and sharing all your past traumas (though that can be part of it eventually). You can start with something as small as being open about exactly what you want from a potential relationship. Also, you can simply be radically honest with someone you’re going on a date with.
Try answering every question with a completely true answer. If your date wants to get coffee but you don’t like coffee, don’t agree to have coffee. If you want to take a walk around the park, say you want to take a walk around the park. The building blocks of vulnerability start with honesty.
7. Remember why you’re doing this
Finally, it’s important to remember that vulnerability isn’t about getting other people to like you more or really getting anything out of others.
We need to remember we’re not being vulnerable to get people to act a certain way toward us. It’s not a tool of manipulation. It’s a tool of liberation. We should do it for ourselves.
No matter how the situation unfolds after you open yourself up, know that you’ve already benefited—because you showed up as your full self.
There’s only one you, and you were born to experience who you are as fully as possible and as often as possible, free of masks, defences, disguises, and shields.
How to make a man feel vulnerable?
To encourage a man to be vulnerable with you, ask open-ended questions that explore his experiences, ambitions, and emotions. Demonstrate genuine curiosity, making it clear that you’re interested in understanding him on a deeper level without being intrusive.
The takeaway
Being vulnerable is a risk, but it pays dividends in our relationships by allowing others to get close to us and know us more fully. Even if it doesn’t come naturally to you, you can learn how to be vulnerable by practising small acts of emotional bravery whenever and wherever possible.
For more articles on relationships, check here.
Do you want to know how to treat a woman right? Or do you already know, but need more tips on how to step up your game? The first thing you must know is that each woman has unique feelings, emotions, and expectations. All women are different and they appreciate different things from their partners.
Many women value emotional connections over lavish dinners or door-holding gestures. While they appreciate feeling special and loved, their relationship needs often focus on emotional fulfilment.
Treating a woman you love involves more than just taking her to the movies. It requires developing a strong, meaningful connection and emotional intimacy. Women in relationships seek both enjoyment and deep connections.
To treat your girlfriend right, open up to her. Show your vulnerable side and invite her into your heart and life. If you feel a genuine connection, this will happen naturally. We offer insights to help jumpstart your efforts in treating a woman well in a relationship.
Follow our tips to learn how to make a woman feel wanted, cared for, loved, and appreciated. These guidelines will help you navigate your relationship with the woman you love.
15 ways a woman wants to be treated
Show a woman you’re there for her in numerous ways. Build your relationship on mutual respect, not just fun and games. Women desire more than love; they seek respect, cherishment, and appreciation.
Your attitude toward her and your relationship determines how to treat a woman romantically and respectfully. Mastering these key elements sets a strong foundation for your relationship. Consider these strategies to treat a woman right:
1. Be present in all your interactions
Love demands you go beyond superficial traits and understand a woman’s deeper essence. She yearns for you to recognize the complexity of her personality, not just her surface charm. When she reveals her hidden self, she’s offering you a rare glimpse into her private world.
Treat a woman right by actively engaging with everything she shares. Listen intently to her childhood stories, workplace conflicts, and daily experiences. Don’t dismiss or ignore her revelations, as each one represents a piece of her true self.
Acknowledge her existence fully by giving her your undivided attention. Put away your phone, maintain eye contact, and respond thoughtfully to her words.
Whether you’re on a first date or in a long-term relationship, attentive listening shows your genuine interest and respect. This approach helps you treat her right, making her feel truly appreciated and valued in your presence.
2. Ask about her day
How can you treat your girlfriend right and become the man of her dreams? Start by being fully present and attentive, but also make an effort to be inquisitive. To truly know how to treat the woman you love, you need to understand everything about her. She may have emotions or stories she’s eager to share with you, but don’t always wait for her to start the conversation.
Take the initiative to bring up topics she mentioned earlier, ask about her friends, and lovingly inquire about her day. A woman doesn’t just want to share her life with you; she also wants to feel that you’re equally eager to share yours with her.
By showing genuine interest, you can demonstrate that you’re as invested in her as she is in you. This simple act can make her feel loved, valued, and cherished, knowing she has a partner who truly treats her right.
3. Always call her back
How should a man treat a woman? He should make sure she never has to second-guess his intentions or feelings. Being responsive, initiating contact, and reciprocating her efforts to stay connected are just a few ways to show her that she matters.
Treating a woman with respect means being mindful of how she reaches out to you. When she calls, it’s likely because she misses you. If you can’t take her call, that’s understandable, but be sure to call her back as soon as you can.
While it’s normal to forget to call someone back, it’s different when it comes to a partner. Being part of each other’s lives requires paying greater attention to one another. Failing to return her call can make her feel unimportant. Also, make sure to text her back, even if you didn’t initiate the conversation.
4. Tell her the things you are passionate about
The key to treating a woman romantically is making her feel like an important part of your life. She needs to know that you view her with the same significance that she sees in you. She wants you to be genuinely interested in her and is eager to reciprocate that interest.
To treat a woman right, don’t hide your emotions, opinions, or ideas from her. A healthy relationship thrives on open communication. When you talk to her, you make her feel special. She wants to learn more about your personal life and understand who you are as a person. Give her that opportunity by opening up to her.
5. Be perceptive
Most of my friends in their 20s often complain that men lack this awareness. During the early stages of dating, it can be challenging to understand what a person wants or likes. However, women usually drop subtle hints. If you want to treat a woman romantically, pay attention to those cues.
Whether she wants to get physically intimate or is simply bored, she will leave signals. It becomes your responsibility to pick up on these signals. Don’t be oblivious to her feelings, even if she gives you mixed signals; learning to read them is key to treating her romantically.
You don’t need to go overboard, but a little awareness and perception go a long way. When she knows that you’re in tune with her feelings and value them, she’ll feel content and cared for.
6. Care about the things that are important to her
Treating a woman you love isn’t just about knowing her likes and dislikes; it’s about showing that you care about them too. If she values her family or her dog, let that awareness positively influence your interactions. To understand what matters most to her, ask her a few questions.
If she deeply cares about her sister, remember that and perhaps invite her sister over for a fun dinner. If your partner is passionate about her job, engage with her on her work and share in her enthusiasm. Using the things that are important to her to build a strong connection is a subtle yet powerful way to treat a woman right in a relationship.
7. Empathize with her
How should a man treat a woman? He should make her feel secure and confident that he has her back in the relationship. One way to make the special woman in your life feel this way is by always being there for her.
If the woman you love is having a rough day or week, she might need more than just a comforting hug. Remember, she loves you for who you are on the inside, and that’s a key reason you’re together.
When she’s going through a tough time, she needs you to be the person she fell in love with. Show her that she’s loved and appreciated. Remind her that there are better things in her life than her current problems, and be there for her when she needs you most.
8. Make her meet your friends
What does it mean to respect a partner? How should you treat a woman with respect? It’s not about always agreeing with her or performing chivalrous acts like holding doors. You can make a woman feel respected by making her a part of your life, not keeping her hidden from the people closest to you.
A woman wants to know that you’re proud of her and your relationship. She should never feel like you’re ashamed of her. To prevent those feelings, involve her in your life as much as possible. A great way to do this is by introducing her to your friends. This shows her that you enjoy being with her and consider her important enough to meet your inner circle.
9. Cook her dinner once in a while
The key to treating a woman romantically lies in small, thoughtful gestures. Cooking is a wonderful way to care for someone and also charm them. It’s a simple effort that can make a big impact.
When you put in the effort to make your dates special, your partner will feel more valued. This is a great way to show her that she’s wanted. By cooking her favourite meal, you make her feel appreciated. Pair it with a bottle of wine, and you’ve created a cosy, intimate date at home.
While it might seem insignificant compared to grand gestures, these small acts are what truly bring partners together and strengthen their bond.
10. Be vocal about what you like about her
To treat a woman like a queen, always encourage her to be her best self. She trusts you to be completely honest with her, and it’s important to share your true thoughts. Compliments can go a long way in making her feel valued, but they should be genuine.
When you truly like her, you’ll notice the things you appreciate about her. Let her know what you see and appreciate. Tell her you find her irresistible—this is an ideal way to treat her romantically.
If you want to treat a woman with respect and show how much you value her, compliment her on her strengths and personality traits. Simple remarks like, “You do so much for everyone around you,” or “I admire how passionate you are about this cause,” can deepen your connection.
11. Know what her dreams are
Liking someone deeply means always striving to understand them. Pay close attention to her dreams, as they are crucial to who she is. You can truly win her heart by supporting her aspirations.
To treat a woman well, you need to understand who she wants to become. Whether she dreams of being a lawyer, a homemaker, a businesswoman, or all of these, her dreams should matter to you as much as she does. The key to treating a woman right in a relationship is to never stand in the way of her dreams or diminish their importance.
12. Make her feel sexy in your encounters
Treat your girlfriend right by expressing your gratitude for her presence in your life. Show her she’s the most attractive person to you. Make her feel secure in her desirability.
Express your physical desire for her openly. Tell her she amazes you. Whisper “You look so beautiful tonight” during a kiss. This boosts her confidence massively. She’ll feel deeply wanted and appreciated.
13. Value her unique ideas
A woman will always have different opinions and ideas from yours, whether in good or bad ways. You don’t have to agree with her, but you should always value what she thinks.
For example, if she believes in a unique philosophical idea that you completely disagree with, it’s important to listen to her thoughts and try to understand why she feels that way. Treating a woman with respect comes down to this.
Neither of you needs to change your views, but you should never judge or demean her for thinking differently. Respect her for who she is, and you will naturally respect her ideas and perspective.
14. Respect her space
Women clearly communicate their need for alone time. Respect this need. Don’t overwhelm her with questions or affection when she needs space. Allow her time alone, whether she’s upset or thoughtful.
Treat a woman right by giving her space to be herself. Don’t overreact when she needs time to decompress. Accept her need for independence within the relationship. Let her have her own experiences and thoughts without feeling threatened.
15. Remember the little things
Comments like “Wasn’t your first dog named Peaches?” or “You don’t like olives on your pizza, right?” might seem random, but they can instantly bring a smile to her face. To show a woman that you truly love her and have made room for her in your life, make an effort to remember the small, seemingly insignificant details she shares with you.
“Every time my boyfriend recalled something about me that I didn’t even remember telling him, I felt a deeper sense of security and love.” This is the kind of statement you’d like your girl to say about you, right?
In knowing how to treat a woman right, it’s these little things that paint the biggest picture of how much you care.
What does a woman need in a relationship?
Relationships resemble ocean voyages, offering fun experiences. Partners must work together like a captain and crew. Good communication ensures a smooth journey.
Women seek reliable partners. They value clear exchanges of actions, words, opinions, and feelings. Women want to trust and feel trusted.
Love brings responsibilities. Women need partners who uphold these responsibilities and avoid unnecessary conflicts. During tough times, they want someone to hold hands with confidently.
Women desire emotional support during crises. They seek partners who stand by them through difficulties. Open communication helps navigate challenges.
Women appreciate partners who express themselves and listen attentively. Mutual respect forms the foundation of a strong relationship. Women value partners who respect their thoughts, feelings, and independence.
For more tips on relationships, check here.
Long distance relationships can be challenging, but they can also be rewarding and successful with the right approach. This article will explore various strategies and tips to help you navigate the complexities of maintaining a strong connection with your partner despite the physical distance between you.
We’ll cover communication, trust, planning, personal growth, and creative ways to stay connected.
Effective Communication: The Foundation of Long Distance Relationship
Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, but it becomes even more crucial in a long distance situation. When you can’t see your partner every day, regular and meaningful conversations become your primary way of staying connected.
Set aside dedicated time each day to talk with your partner, whether it’s through phone calls, video chats, or text messages. Make sure to discuss both the mundane details of your day and deeper, more significant topics. This helps maintain a sense of normalcy and intimacy in your relationship.
Be honest about your feelings, including any frustrations or insecurities that may arise due to the distance. Open and transparent communication can help prevent misunderstandings and build a stronger bond.
Remember to actively listen to your partner as well, showing genuine interest in their thoughts and experiences. This two-way communication helps both partners feel valued and understood, even when they’re far apart.
Building and Maintaining Trust
Trust is essential in any relationship, but it takes on added importance in long-distance situations. Without the ability to see each other regularly, it’s natural for doubts or jealousy to creep in. To build and maintain trust, be reliable and consistent in your communication and actions.
Follow through on your promises and commitments, whether it’s calling at a specific time or sending a care package. Be transparent about your activities and the people you spend time with, without feeling the need to constantly report every detail. Encourage your partner to pursue their own interests and friendships, showing that you trust them to maintain appropriate boundaries.
If trust issues arise, address them openly and calmly with your partner, working together to find solutions and reassurances. Remember that trust is built over time through consistent actions and honest communication.
Planning for the Future: Visits and Long-Term Goals
Having something to look forward to can make the distance more bearable. Plan regular visits with your partner, alternating who travels if possible. These face-to-face meetings are crucial for maintaining your physical connection and creating shared experiences.
During visits, make time for both special activities and everyday moments to keep your relationship grounded in reality. Beyond visits, discuss your long-term goals as a couple. Having a shared vision for the future can help you both stay motivated during challenging times. This might include plans to eventually live in the same place, career goals, or other life milestones you want to achieve together.
Be realistic about the timeline for closing the distance gap, and be willing to adjust your plans as circumstances change. Having a roadmap for your future together can provide comfort and stability in a long distance relationship.
Personal Growth and Independence
While it’s important to stay connected with your partner, long distance relationships also provide an opportunity for personal growth and independence. Use the time apart to focus on your own goals, hobbies, and friendships. Pursue your passions, whether it’s advancing your career, learning new skills, or exploring personal interests.
Maintaining your own identity and sense of fulfilment is crucial for your personal well-being and can actually strengthen your relationship. Share your growth and experiences with your partner, allowing them to be part of your journey even from afar.
Encourage your partner to do the same, showing genuine interest in their personal development. This mutual support for individual growth can create a stronger, more balanced relationship when you’re eventually reunited.
Creative Ways to Stay Connected
Finding creative ways to feel close despite the distance can help keep your relationship exciting and intimate. Use technology to your advantage by watching movies or TV shows together while video chatting, playing online games as a couple, or using apps designed for long distance couples.
Send surprise care packages or handwritten letters to add a personal touch to your communications. Create shared playlists or virtual photo albums to feel more connected to each other’s daily lives.
Plan virtual date nights where you both dress up and have dinner together over video chat. You can even cook the same meal in your respective locations to share the experience.
These creative efforts show your partner that you’re committed to maintaining your connection despite the challenges of distance.
Dealing with Challenges and Staying Positive
Long distance relationships inevitably face challenges, from time zone differences to feelings of loneliness or frustration. It’s important to acknowledge these difficulties and work together to overcome them. Be patient with each other and understand the unique stresses that distance can create.
When conflicts arise, approach them calmly and with a problem-solving mindset. Remember that you’re on the same team, working towards a shared future. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and the opportunities that distance provides, such as personal growth and the chance to build a strong foundation of trust and communication.
Celebrate your successes and milestones as a couple, no matter how small they may seem. Maintaining a positive outlook can help you navigate the challenges of long distance love and emerge with a stronger relationship.
In conclusion, long distance relationships require effort, creativity, and commitment from both partners. By focusing on effective communication, building trust, planning for the future, pursuing personal growth, finding creative ways to connect, and maintaining a positive attitude, you can overcome the challenges of distance.
You can build a strong, lasting relationship. Distance is temporary, and the skills you develop during this time can strengthen your bond for years to come.
If you would like to read more on dating and relationships, check here.
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