OPINION

5 Types Of BDSM And Practice Tips

Published

1 week ago

September 1, 2024

BDSM encompasses types and a broad range of erotic practices and kinks. These practices build on power dynamics between consenting sexual partners. The term “BDSM” combines three acronyms. Each acronym represents a distinct community that uses power imbalance for sexual pleasure.

B/D stands for bondage and discipline. D/s refers to domination and submission. S/M denotes sadism and masochism. In BDSM encounters, one partner typically takes on the dominant role, often called the “dom.” The other partner embodies the submissive role, known as the “sub.” Together, they act out consensual fantasies.

Both partners derive sexual pleasure and satisfaction from performing their chosen roles during the encounter. The dominant partner may exercise control, while the submissive partner yields to that control. This power exchange forms the core of many BDSM practices.

The BDSM community often includes other “kinky” groups with nonconforming sexual interests or fetishes. For example, some individuals have rubber or leather fetishes. Others enjoy animal roleplay, where one partner takes on the role of an animal or pet.

BDSM emphasizes consent, communication, and mutual enjoyment. Participants negotiate boundaries and establish safe practices before engaging in activities. They often use safe words to ensure all parties can stop the action if needed.

BDSM encompasses various sexual preferences within the erotic community. These preferences interact and overlap in multiple ways.

4 main types dominate the BDSM outlook:

1. Bondage Play

Practitioners use tools to restrain one partner during sexual encounters. Common restraints include rope, leather straps, bondage tape, ties, handcuffs, spreader bars, ball gags, blindfolds, and chains.

These tools restrict the subject’s senses or movement, transferring control to the other partner. This restriction aims to heighten mutual sexual stimulation.

2. Discipline

The dominant partner establishes rules for the submissive partner to follow. These rules may be explicitly sexual, such as requiring oral sex at specific times. They can also be indirectly erotic, like prohibiting speaking out of turn.

When the submissive partner breaks a rule, the dominant partner assigns punishment. Punishments vary from withholding pleasure to inflicting pain (e.g., spanking or flogging) or imposing additional rules. Both partners find sexual gratification in this discipline roleplay.

3. Dominance and Submission (D/s)

D/s focuses on power and energy exchange between partners. One partner typically dominates the other physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually during a “scene” or “session.” The dominant partner explores the submissive partner’s desires, thoughts, and feelings, guiding both towards mutual pleasure.

Some practitioners, known as “switches,” enjoy alternating between dominant and submissive roles. D/s often incorporate specific attire during scenes, such as leather outfits, maid costumes, collars, leashes, and riding crops.

4. Sadomasochism

In this community, individuals derive sexual pleasure and endorphin rushes from inflicting or receiving pain, always consensually. Sadists enjoy inflicting pain, while masochists find pleasure in receiving it. The pain can be physical, involving whips, clamps, paddles, or electric stimulation. It can also be emotional, encompassing humiliation or total submission.

These four types of BDSM often intertwine and overlap in practice. Practitioners may engage in one or more types, tailoring their experiences to their specific desires and boundaries.

All BDSM activities emphasize consent, communication, and mutual enjoyment between partners.

6 tips for practising BDSM safely

1. Set ground rules with your partner

Establish clear boundaries and agreements with your partner before engaging in BDSM play. Discuss your comfort levels, desired roles, and expectations openly. Avoid pressuring each other into specific roles.

If you feel nervous about initiating the conversation, consider watching light BDSM erotica together to gauge interest. Learn effective ways to communicate about sex with your partner.

2. Select a safe word

Choose at least one safe word with your partner. Use this word to signal when a boundary has been crossed or when you need a break. Consider selecting two different safe words: one to stop all action immediately, and another to indicate approaching a boundary, prompting a change in direction.

3. Brainstorm roleplaying ideas

Explore various roleplay scenarios to ease into BDSM and overcome self-consciousness. Consider common dynamics like boss and employee, teacher and student, doctor and patient, or two strangers. These roles can help you distance yourself from the situation and relax into the experience.

4. Start small

Begin with light BDSM types if you’re new to the practice. Avoid purchasing complex equipment or expensive outfits initially. Focus on exploring discipline or D/s sessions that require only willing participants and imagination. If you want to buy equipment, start with simple items like blindfolds and wrist restraints.

5. Understand risk

Familiarize yourself with two main approaches to risk in BDSM: the “safe, sane, and consensual” (SSC) model and the “risk-aware consensual kink” (RACK) model.

SSC emphasizes predetermined safety measures, while RACK acknowledges inherent risks and empowers participants to evaluate and consent to them individually. Choose the approach that aligns with your comfort level and risk tolerance.

6. Prioritize aftercare

Engage in thorough aftercare following BDSM sessions to address physical and emotional needs. Discuss the experience with your partner, cuddle, and clean up together.

These activities help everyone wind down, process the session, and foster a sense of calm and well-being. Aftercare promotes physical wellness and emotional stability for all participants.

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OPINION

What Is The Importance Of Therapy For Healthy Relationships?

Published

12 hours ago

September 8, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Importance Of Therapy In Relationships | fab.ng

Relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendships, can be challenging to navigate due to the different backgrounds, personalities, and experiences people bring. These differences often lead to misunderstandings and conflicts, which may strain even the strongest bonds. The importance of therapy in relationships lies in its ability to provide a structured space where individuals or couples can address these challenges.

Therapy allows them to communicate more effectively, work through unresolved conflicts, and rebuild their connection. As misunderstandings and communication breakdowns occur, the importance of therapy in relationships becomes evident, helping people resolve issues and create healthier dynamics.

Over time, therapy is crucial in strengthening bonds and ensuring lasting, fulfilling relationships. The importance of therapy in relationships cannot be overstated. It serves as a powerful tool for fostering healthy communication and emotional growth.

What Is The Importance Of Therapy In Relationships?

Improving Communication

The importance of therapy in relationships becomes clear when addressing communication problems. Many relationship challenges arise because individuals struggle to express their thoughts and feelings clearly. Misunderstandings occur when people feel unheard or misinterpreted, often escalating into arguments or creating emotional distance.

In therapy, individuals actively develop better communication skills. A therapist acts as a mediator, helping each person express their thoughts in a way that the other can understand. This process encourages active listening, where both parties learn to focus on not only the words spoken but also the emotions behind them.

With this, couples and individuals gain the ability to understand each other’s perspectives better, reducing the chances of conflict and deepening their connection.

Addressing Unresolved Issues

The importance of therapy in relationships extends to dealing with unresolved issues. Every relationship faces challenges, and when these challenges remain unaddressed, they can negatively impact the bond between individuals. Lingering resentment, past arguments, or unresolved trauma often build up over time, leading to emotional distance or recurring disputes.

Therapy provides a safe space for addressing these unresolved problems. A therapist guides individuals toward identifying the root causes of their issues and helps them develop healthier coping strategies. Tackling these concerns directly is essential, as therapy prevents them from festering and causing long-term damage.

The importance of therapy in relationships shines through when both parties feel heard and acknowledged, allowing healing and growth to occur.

Building Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is a key element in maintaining a strong and healthy relationship. The importance of therapy in relationships lies in its ability to help couples and individuals strengthen this intimacy. Emotional intimacy involves sharing one’s deepest thoughts, fears, and emotions without fear of judgment or rejection, but maintaining this level of closeness can be challenging.

Therapy encourages people to work through emotional barriers and become more vulnerable with one another. This process fosters a deeper connection and helps individuals rediscover the bond that initially brought them together.

The importance of therapy in relationships is particularly evident as emotional intimacy grows, enhancing trust and reinforcing the supportiveness and fulfilment that partners or loved ones offer each other.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but how it’s handled determines whether the relationship grows stronger or suffers. The importance of therapy in relationships is highlighted when individuals struggle with conflict management, often resorting to blame, avoidance, or anger. Poorly handled conflicts can weaken a relationship, causing tension and emotional distance over time.

Therapy equips couples and individuals with effective conflict-resolution tools. A therapist teaches them how to approach disagreements with empathy, patience, and a willingness to compromise. Instead of focusing on who is right or wrong, therapy emphasizes collaboration in finding solutions that benefit both parties.

Through therapy, individuals learn to resolve issues in ways that strengthen rather than undermine their relationships, proving the ongoing importance of therapy in relationships.

Encouraging Personal Growth

The importance of therapy in relationships is not only about improving the relationship itself but also about fostering personal growth. Many relationship challenges stem from individual insecurities, past traumas, or mental health struggles that affect how people relate to others.

Therapy helps individuals gain a deeper understanding of themselves and how their behaviour, thoughts, and emotions impact the relationship. By addressing personal issues, therapy encourages individuals to become more self-aware and emotionally mature.

For example, someone dealing with low self-esteem may learn to express their needs more effectively, preventing withdrawal or defensive behaviour. As personal growth occurs, the overall relationship benefits, further emphasizing the importance of therapy in relationships.

Strengthening Commitment and Trust

Commitment and trust form the foundation of a long-lasting relationship. Over time, trust may erode due to infidelity, dishonesty, or unresolved conflicts. The importance of therapy in relationships lies in its role in rebuilding that trust. Therapy creates a space where both parties can openly discuss their concerns and work through their fears.

Through therapy, individuals rebuild trust by practising honesty, transparency, and vulnerability. As communication improves and emotional intimacy deepens, trust gradually returns, allowing the relationship to regain its strength.

Therapy also helps couples reaffirm their commitment to each other, offering reassurance that both are invested in making the relationship work. The ongoing importance of therapy in relationships is crucial to maintaining trust and commitment.

Preventing Future Problems

Another key aspect of therapy is its ability to prevent future problems. The importance of therapy in relationships isn’t limited to crises. Therapy is also beneficial for maintaining a healthy relationship. By addressing potential issues early on, therapy can prevent minor problems from growing into major conflicts.

Therapy equips individuals with tools and techniques to navigate future challenges. Whether coping with stress, balancing work and personal life, or handling difficult conversations, the skills learned in therapy ensure that relationships remain stable and healthy over time. The importance of therapy in relationships extends to proactive solutions, allowing people to address problems before they escalate.

Conclusion

Therapy plays an essential role in improving communication, resolving conflicts, building emotional intimacy, and fostering personal growth.

It equips individuals with the tools needed to address personal and relational challenges, strengthening commitment and trust along the way.

Whether dealing with romantic partners, family members, or friends, the importance of therapy in relationships lies in its ability to nurture, sustain, and grow healthy connections. As relationships evolve, therapy remains a crucial resource for healing, growth, and lasting bonds.

If you would like to read more on relationships, visit here.

BUSINESS

Why Is Diversity And Inclusion In The Workplace Important?

Published

1 week ago

September 1, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Why Diversity And Inclusion In The Workplace Is Important | fab.ng

Diversity and inclusion in the workplace are essential. More than just policies or headcounts, equitable employers gain a competitive edge by respecting the unique needs, perspectives, and potential of their diverse workforce. As a result, these workplaces earn deeper trust and stronger commitment from their employees.

What’s the Difference Between Diversity and Inclusion?

Diversity and inclusion are interconnected but distinct concepts. Diversity is about representation, focusing on the makeup of a group. Inclusion is about valuing and integrating the contributions and perspectives of different groups into the environment.

A workplace may be diverse with various genders, races, nationalities, and sexual orientations present. However, if only certain groups’ perspectives are valued or hold influence, the environment is not inclusive.

What Is Diversity and Inclusion in the Workplace?

A diverse and inclusive workplace ensures that everyone, regardless of their role or background, feels equally involved and supported in all areas. This inclusiveness must permeate every part of the workplace.

For instance, do you have diversity in recruiting, within departments, and in leadership? Or do you have a diverse workforce where women make up 50% of employees but hold 0% of managerial positions? Are employees of colour well-represented, but only within a single department?

These questions reveal the true extent of diversity and inclusion within a workplace.

Why Is Diversity and Inclusion Important in the Workplace?

Research highlights numerous benefits of a diverse and inclusive workplace, such as higher revenue growth, greater readiness to innovate, and increased ability to recruit a diverse talent pool. Additionally, inclusive workplaces experience 5.4 times higher employee retention rates.

Inclusion is a key factor in employee retention. When employees feel that their ideas, presence, or contributions are undervalued or ignored, they will eventually leave. Our research shows that employees who trust they will be treated fairly, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, or age, are:

– 9.8 times more likely to look forward to work.
– 6.3 times more likely to feel pride in their work.
– 5.4 times more likely to stay at their company long-term.

An inclusive workplace culture not only attracts diverse talent but also helps retain it.

1. Diverse organizations spark innovation.

Innovation thrives when people from different backgrounds contribute unique perspectives. Diverse teams approach problems from various angles, leading to creative solutions that homogeneous groups might overlook.

2. Diverse leadership expands an organization’s customer base.

Leaders from varied backgrounds understand and relate to a wider range of customers. They identify untapped markets and create products or services that appeal to diverse consumer groups, ultimately growing the organization’s reach.

3. Diverse teams get better answers.

Team members with different experiences and knowledge bases challenge each other’s assumptions. This questioning leads to more thorough analysis and often results in superior solutions to complex problems.

4. Diverse project teams collaborate more effectively.

People from varied backgrounds bring complementary skills to projects. They leverage each other’s strengths, compensate for weaknesses, and find innovative ways to work together, enhancing overall team productivity.

5. Diversity improves team performance.

Diverse teams often outperform homogeneous ones. The combination of different skill sets, perspectives, and problem-solving approaches leads to higher-quality outputs and more efficient work processes.

6. Diverse teams make better decisions.

Teams with varied backgrounds consider a wider range of options when making choices. They evaluate decisions from multiple viewpoints, reducing blind spots and biases that can lead to poor judgment.

In essence, diversity and inclusion are crucial to a strong employee retention strategy.

What Is an Inclusive Workplace?

Diversity without genuine inclusion is often seen as “tokenism.” A truly inclusive workplace does more than simply present a diverse group of people. It involves, develops, empowers, and trusts these individuals, ensuring that diversity efforts extend beyond superficial gestures.

What’s the Difference Between Diversity, Inclusion, and Belonging?

Diversity refers to the representation of different people within an organization. Inclusion ensures that everyone has an equal opportunity to contribute and influence all levels of the workplace. Belonging ensures that everyone feels safe and can bring their full, unique selves to work.

These concepts can be confusing, and many companies make simple mistakes in their diversity or inclusion efforts. Thankfully, these mistakes can be corrected if workplaces are aware of them.

Unfortunately, many organizations fail to recognize what’s right and wrong in their diversity and inclusion strategies unless they actively seek to understand them.

Why is it important to achieve diversity and inclusion in the workplace?

Equitable employers prioritize creating a workplace that values and respects the unique needs, perspectives, and potential of their diverse workforce. This approach goes beyond implementing policies, and programs, or simply focusing on headcounts. By fostering a culture of inclusivity, equitable employers gain a significant advantage over their competitors.

As a result of their commitment to diversity and inclusion, these employers earn deeper trust and loyalty from their employees. When employees feel valued, respected, and empowered, they are more likely to be committed to their work and the organization.

For more articles like this, visit here.

OPINION

7 Ways To Be More Vulnerable In A Relationship

Published

1 week ago

September 1, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Being Vulnerable In A Relationship | fab.ng

We hear it constantly: Relationships require you to “be vulnerable” with your partner. This advice is repeated so often that it has almost become background noise in dating. This is along with other common phrases like “communication is key” and “relationships take hard work.”

Despite being a buzzword, vulnerability is a complex concept. It’s also a trait that doesn’t come easily or naturally to everyone.

What does it mean to be vulnerable?

In relationships, being vulnerable means showing someone exactly who you are and how you feel without disguise, bravado, or ego defences, exposing yourself to the possibility of hurt or rejection.

Being vulnerable means you make a conscious decision not to hide yourself. This is risky because you can’t control how others will respond to you. It means others see who you truly are, and if they aren’t able to accept you, appreciate your complexity, or they judge or reject you, it hurts deeply.

Being vulnerable with someone means risking being your true self.

People struggle with vulnerability because they fear getting hurt, typically in the form of rejection, judgment, or betrayal from others. You may begin to put on a brave face, act indifferent, suppress emotions, or step into a role meant to protect yourself from these risks.

The irony is, when you do this, you end up robbing yourself of the intimacy, connection, community, and love of the people who have the bandwidth and capacity to accept you as you are.

How can you be emotionally vulnerable?

Directly telling someone that you think they’re cool and are interested in getting to know them better
Letting someone know that something they said hurt your feelings
Telling someone when you’re feeling ashamed or embarrassed
Acknowledging when you’ve made a mistake and apologizing for it
Asking for feedback on a project you care a lot about and worked hard on
Opening up to someone about an experience of trauma or hardship
Asking someone for help
Telling a friend that your relationship has been rocky lately and asking for support
Listening to someone explain a way in which you’ve hurt them, without trying to explain what happened or defend your character
Letting people know about your insecurities or struggles
Allowing yourself to feel hopeful and excited about a budding relationship, even though things are still new and uncertain
Setting a boundary with someone
Talking openly about your negative emotions—such as anger, fear, disappointment, or jealousy—without trying to cover them up or deflect from them
Telling someone about a time when someone made you feel small
Believing and trusting in someone completely, putting your faith in them that they’ll come through for you

7 ways to be more vulnerable in a relationship

1. Get to know your inner world better

To show people your true self, you first need to know your true self. This begins with exploring yourself beyond your default attitudes. Pay attention to your knee-jerk reactions when something positive or negative happens. Ask yourself, “If I didn’t hide behind this reaction, is there more going on here for me?”

Allow yourself to recognize how you feel in different situations, tune in to your body, and practice saying how you genuinely feel about things out loud. It can be surprisingly powerful to say, “I feel angry toward my sister” or “I feel scared of being alone” because often, we don’t even allow ourselves to be vulnerable with ourselves.

2. Say how you really feel about things

Once you’re more in touch with your own emotions, start sharing them with others. Practice telling your partner how you really feel about things, even if it seems silly.

If you miss your partner, send them a text and let them know; if your partner hurt your feelings with a small comment this morning, tell them honestly how it felt. If you really enjoy hanging out with him/her, let them know.

3. Accept the risk

The truth is that being vulnerable means accepting the risk of getting hurt. This means you can’t always wait for a situation where you’re perfectly safe or certain that you won’t get judged or rejected.

There’s always a degree of risk involved when you’re genuine and honest. Even if you’re vulnerable and it doesn’t end up creating intimacy and connection, or it isn’t received well, that’s okay. Being vulnerable doesn’t guarantee that things will go your way in all your relationships.

Learn to practice acceptance for these moments and build tolerance for the emotions that may accompany them.

4. Work on healing your attachment wounds

The fear of abandonment or getting hurt by others often stems from past experiences where that very thing happened. These are sometimes known as attachment issues, and it can help to explore these wounds with a mental health professional.

The goal is to develop what’s known as a secure attachment style. A securely attached person tends to be much more comfortable with vulnerability. They know that it is OK to need or depend on others, and they value being needed in return.

Intimacy and vulnerability are not a challenge, as a securely attached individual has a strong sense of self and isn’t dictated by fear of rejection or a fear of losing themselves.

5. Invite feedback from others

Asking your partner (or anyone) to give you their honest thoughts about you, your work, or your behaviour is an intensely vulnerable act—but it’s also something that can lead to more intimacy and accountability in your relationship.

When asking for feedback, be approachable and accountable. Expressing yourself vulnerably while inviting feedback could improve your connections. It gives people a chance to express themselves and convey any roadblocks or areas of friction.

6. Be upfront about the things you want

Vulnerability in dating can simply look like prioritizing your truth. It isn’t just about pouring your heart out and sharing all your past traumas (though that can be part of it eventually). You can start with something as small as being open about exactly what you want from a potential relationship. Also, you can simply be radically honest with someone you’re going on a date with.

Try answering every question with a completely true answer. If your date wants to get coffee but you don’t like coffee, don’t agree to have coffee. If you want to take a walk around the park, say you want to take a walk around the park. The building blocks of vulnerability start with honesty.

7. Remember why you’re doing this

Finally, it’s important to remember that vulnerability isn’t about getting other people to like you more or really getting anything out of others.

We need to remember we’re not being vulnerable to get people to act a certain way toward us. It’s not a tool of manipulation. It’s a tool of liberation. We should do it for ourselves.

No matter how the situation unfolds after you open yourself up, know that you’ve already benefited—because you showed up as your full self.

There’s only one you, and you were born to experience who you are as fully as possible and as often as possible, free of masks, defences, disguises, and shields.

How to make a man feel vulnerable?

To encourage a man to be vulnerable with you, ask open-ended questions that explore his experiences, ambitions, and emotions. Demonstrate genuine curiosity, making it clear that you’re interested in understanding him on a deeper level without being intrusive.

The takeaway

Being vulnerable is a risk, but it pays dividends in our relationships by allowing others to get close to us and know us more fully. Even if it doesn’t come naturally to you, you can learn how to be vulnerable by practising small acts of emotional bravery whenever and wherever possible.

For more articles on relationships, check here.