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Stages Of Love: Why Your Relationship May Not Get Past Stage 3

Published

3 months ago

February 24, 2024

Here Are The Stages Of Love In a Relationship | Fab.ng

Love – we throw it around like a football, often without giving it much thought. But what truly is this powerful emotion? And how does it change over time? What are the stages of love that people should know? Scientists and philosophers have pondered these questions for centuries, with no single definitive answer.

One helpful framework, proposed by psychologist Arthur Aron, suggests that love unfolds in five distinct stages. This “journey of love” starts with the fluttering butterflies in our stomachs and…well, the end is anyone’s guess. While the ultimate outcome remains unpredictable, understanding these stages can shed light on the complex phenomenon we call love.

Here Are The Stages Of Love In a Relationship | Fab.ng

Stage 1: Euphoria

Hmm, the intoxicating “honeymoon phase.” This initial stage of love feels like a whirlwind romance where you’re completely smitten with your partner. Their smile, their laugh, and even their mere presence make your heart skip a beat. It’s intense, exciting, and filled with those butterflies-in-your-stomach moments. But as wonderful as it feels, it’s important to remember that this phase is temporary.

Driven by powerful hormones like dopamine and oxytocin, this heady feeling is similar to a euphoric high. But just like any high, it eventually fades. While the butterflies might not flutter forever, that doesn’t mean the magic of love disappears entirely. It simply transitions into something deeper, richer, and often more fulfilling.

Stage 2: Intimacy

After the initial fireworks of the honeymoon phase, love settles into a new rhythm—intimacy. This is where you truly peel back the layers and get to know each other—not just the charming facade but also the vulnerabilities, the quirks, and the not-so-perfect bits. It’s a time for sharing secrets, dreams, and fears and building a foundation of trust and understanding that feels like a haven.

Sure, the intense passion of the early days might simmer down a bit, but it’s replaced by something deeper and more meaningful—a strong connection and a sense of genuine contentment. The intimacy translates even to physical expressions of love, where the fire might not be as wild, but the satisfaction and emotional connection run deeper. It’s a shift from being blinded by feelings to finding true comfort and security in being known and accepted for who you truly are.

Stage 3: Disillusionment

Reality sets in during stage three: disillusionment. The rosy glow of the honeymoon phase fades, and we start seeing our partner with clearer eyes.

This can be a bumpy ride as we discover differences in opinions, habits, and even fundamental values that might clash with our own. It’s like taking off rose-tinted glasses and seeing both the good and the not-so-good aspects of our partner and the relationship.

Sadly, this stage can be a dealbreaker for many couples, as they realise these incompatibilities are too significant to overcome. But for those who weather this storm, it can lead to a more mature and realistic understanding of their partner and pave the way for deeper commitment.

Stage 4: Commitment

Congratulations! If your love has weathered the challenges of stage three, you’ve emerged stronger and entered the stage of commitment. This isn’t just about staying together; it’s about consciously choosing each other and building a shared future.

What Is a Committed Relationship? Fab.ng

It’s facing storms hand-in-hand, knowing you can overcome anything as a team. It’s about unwavering support, picking each other up when you fall, and prioritizing the “we” over individual desires. It’s a conscious decision you both made, and it’s paying off beautifully.

Stage 5: Companionship

Those butterflies you felt in the beginning? They might not stay forever, but something special takes their place. This final stage of love is a beautiful blend of comfort and fulfilment.

Here Are The Stages Of Love In a Relationship | Fab.ng

It’s knowing your partner is your unwavering rock, your trusted confidante, and your best friend rolled into one. You’ve built a deep understanding and respect, where simply being together brings joy.

Reaching this stage isn’t easy, but for those who patiently nurture and invest in their relationship, it’s a true treasure. It’s the quiet assurance that no matter what life throws your way, you have a partner who will always be there, hand in hand, ready to face the journey together.

For more articles on love and relationships, check here.

Related Topics:love Relationship Stages Of Love

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OPINION

Is Your Partner Getting Close To Their Ex? Here’s What To Do

Published

4 days ago

May 12, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Do these if your partner starts getting close to their ex | Fab.ng

It can be a real gut punch to see your partner getting close to their ex. A whirlwind of emotions—insecurity, jealousy, and confusion—can leave you feeling lost. Before you spiral, take a deep breath and consider the situation.

Here are 7 steps you can take when your partner is getting close to their ex:

1. Decode your feelings

Start with some self-reflection. What exactly is bugging you? Are you feeling insecure about your place in the relationship? Does the renewed contact with the ex trigger past experiences of betrayal? Identifying the root of your discomfort is crucial for effective communication.

2. Communicate your feelings openly and honestly

Once you’ve untangled your emotions, it’s time for a heart-to-heart with your partner. Choose a calm, private moment and express your concerns. Here’s the key: use “I” statements.

Instead of accusatory phrases like “You’re always talking to your ex,” try “I feel insecure when you spend a lot of time with them.” This approach focuses on your feelings and opens the door for a productive conversation.

Listen attentively to your partner’s perspective too. Try to understand why they feel the need for this reconnection. Is it unresolved issues, shared childcare responsibilities, or a genuine desire to maintain a civil friendship?

3. Take a relationship inventory

Sometimes, increased contact with an ex can be a symptom of a deeper issue in your current relationship. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your dynamics.

Are your needs being met? Is there a sense of disconnect that might be pushing your partner towards their ex for emotional fulfilment? Talk openly and honestly about these issues and explore ways to strengthen your bond.

4. Respect boundaries, but set your own

If your partner has a child with their ex, regular contact is likely unavoidable. That’s okay! Respect these boundaries and discuss how you’d like to be involved, especially if it impacts your family dynamic.

For instance, if your partner has weekend visits with their ex and child, is there a way you can participate in some of those activities to create a sense of togetherness?

It’s also perfectly reasonable to feel uncomfortable if the level of contact with the ex seems excessive or emotionally charged. Communicate these boundaries clearly and respectfully to your partner.

5. Focus on trust and transparency

Open communication and trust are the bedrock of any strong relationship. If your partner is open and honest about their interactions with their ex, it can significantly ease your anxieties.

They should be willing to share details about the nature of their communication and assure you that there’s nothing to hide. However, if you discover a pattern of secrecy or dishonesty, it’s a major red flag that needs to be addressed directly.

6. Don’t let the ex steal your spotlight

It’s easy to get caught up in the drama of your partner’s past relationship. But don’t let the ex become the centre of your attention. Focus on strengthening the bond you share with your partner.

Plan exciting date nights, engage in shared activities you both enjoy, and maintain open communication. Invest in making your own relationship a priority.

7. Seek professional help when needed

If communication seems like an insurmountable hurdle or insecurities are overwhelming, consider seeking professional help from a couples therapist. A therapist can provide a safe space for open communication and guide you both towards healthy relationship dynamics.

They can also help you identify underlying issues that might be contributing to the situation and develop strategies to address them.

Bonus tips:

Don’t be possessive: While it’s natural to want to feel secure in your relationship, avoid controlling your partner’s interactions. Encourage healthy boundaries with their ex, but don’t try to isolate them. Trust is a two-way street, and fostering a sense of independence will ultimately strengthen your bond.
Maintain your self-confidence: Don’t let the presence of an ex chip away at your self-worth. Remind yourself of what makes you an amazing partner and the unique qualities you bring to the relationship.
Don’t snoop: The urge to check your partner’s phone or social media for reassurance might be strong, but resist it! This behaviour can damage trust and create unnecessary tension.

Remember, open communication and trust are key. By addressing your concerns honestly and working together towards healthy boundaries, you can navigate this situation and emerge with a stronger, more secure relationship.

Read more about love and relationships here.

OPINION

6 Mistakes “Good Girls” Make In Relationships

Published

1 month ago

April 6, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

In relationships, some people try really hard to be “good girls” or “good guys.” They might bend over backwards to be accommodating. They put their partner’s needs first all the time and strive to be the perfect person in the relationship. But there can be a downside to this.

These behaviours can create an unequal dynamic where one person feels like they’re giving way too much and not getting enough back. This can lead to unhappiness and resentment for both partners.

So, let’s look at some things to watch out for:

1. Not asking for anything

One of the things “good girls” often do in relationships is try to handle everything themselves. They might avoid asking their partner for help with chores, favours, or even emotional support. This might be because they want to seem independent or not high-maintenance. But here’s the problem: bottling things up all the time can lead to an unfair situation in the relationship.

If you never ask for help, your partner might not even know you need it! This can leave you feeling unsupported and frustrated, while your partner keeps thinking everything is okay.

The key thing to remember is that asking for help isn’t a weakness; it’s actually a sign of a healthy relationship. By openly communicating your needs, you and your partner can work together to create a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.

2. Tolerating too much

Sometimes in relationships, girls want to be seen as super understanding and forgiving. This can lead to them putting up with things that actually make them uncomfortable or go against their values. But here’s the thing: healthy relationships are all about respect.

It’s important to set boundaries with your partner and to make sure those boundaries are respected. This means you both deserve to be treated with dignity, and that includes not having to tolerate bad behaviour.

3. Doing all the house chores to prove yourself

In a relationship, don’t try to be the superhero who does all the chores! Taking on everything to prove yourself can leave you feeling burnt out and frustrated.

The best relationships are partnerships. This means both people contribute to the home and support each other.

Sharing chores isn’t just about making things easier, it’s also about working together as a team and feeling like equals. So, ditch the “I’ll do it all” attitude and split the chores. You’ll both be happier for it.

4. Not being vocal about what you want

Don’t bottle things up! Whether it’s something in the bedroom, a big life decision, or even just your preferences for dinner, not talking about what you want can lead to trouble. If you keep your desires to yourself, you might end up feeling unheard, unsatisfied, and even invisible in your relationship.

The key to a happy and fulfilling relationship is open communication. Be honest about what you want and need. This way, your partner can understand you better, and you both can work together to create a relationship where everyone feels respected and considered.

5. Lowering your standards

In relationships, it’s tempting to bend over backwards to keep someone happy. You might compromise on things that are really important to you, like your beliefs, dreams, or what you expect from a partner. But doing this to avoid being single or just staying in a relationship can make you unhappy in the long run.

Remember, a good relationship should make your life better, not worse. It shouldn’t force you to give up on who you are or what you want to achieve. Hold onto your standards! Find someone who respects and supports your true self, goals, and values. That’s the recipe for real happiness.

So how do you avoid these “good girl” traps? Just follow the list below:

Know yourself: Take time to think about what’s important to you in life. What are your values, goals, and dreams? Don’t lose sight of who you are just to please someone else.
Believe in yourself: Feeling good about yourself is essential. You deserve to be in a relationship where you’re respected and valued for who you are.
Talk it out: Open communication is key! Don’t be afraid to express your needs and desires. A healthy relationship is a two-way street where both partners feel heard and understood.

Remember, being a “good girl” doesn’t mean giving up on yourself. A real relationship is built on respect, understanding, and support. You and your partner should both feel happy and fulfilled.

For more articles, check here.

OPINION

5 Subtle Ways To Punish A Cheating Partner

Published

2 months ago

March 30, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Cheating Partner: 5 Subtle Ways To Punish Them | Fab.ng

Finding out you have a cheating partner can be a huge shock. It can make you feel like you can’t trust them anymore and hurt the closeness you had. You might want to get revenge at first, but it’s better to take a step back and think clearly.

This article offers a way to deal with this situation that’s both classy and keeps your future in mind. It will help you figure out what to do next without losing your self-respect.

1. Focus on self-care

The most important thing after finding out your partner cheated is to take care of yourself. It’s normal to feel super upset and confused, so focus on things that make you feel better.

This could be anything that relaxes you or makes you happy, like starting a new hobby, meditating, or hanging out with supportive friends and family.

While you’re healing, your ex might notice you looking and feeling good. Here’s the best part: the best revenge is taking care of yourself and showing your ex what they lost. They’ll see you thriving and know they messed up by letting you go.

2. Set clear boundaries

It’s important to set boundaries with your partner, and this isn’t just about getting revenge; it’s about respecting yourself. Tell them clearly what you will and won’t accept going forward.

This might mean needing some time apart to figure out how you feel and what you want for the future of the relationship.

Setting boundaries is a big step in healing because it stops your partner from disrespecting you again. It also helps you figure out if you can get back together or if it’s time to move on.

3. Improve on yourself

Getting help from friends and family is great, but you can also focus on improving yourself. This could be anything you enjoy, like learning a new skill or spending time in nature.

Working on yourself will boost your confidence and help you move on. You’ll be too busy becoming your best self to be stuck with your ex.

4. Empowerment through forgiveness

Forgiving a cheating partner might seem impossible, but it’s actually for you, not them. It’s about letting go of all that anger and hurt you’re feeling, not saying what they did was okay.

Forgiveness can help you heal and move on, no matter if you stay together or break up.

5. Embrace the possibility of moving on

Recognising when it’s time to move on is important for respecting yourself and finding future happiness. Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting; it means choosing to find happiness and fulfilment elsewhere.

It involves being open to new possibilities, relationships, and experiences that match your values and desires for love and respect.

One effective way to deal with a cheating partner is to let them know they no longer have the same access to you. Forgiving them and yourself is crucial for finding peace and happiness again. Forgiveness can help you regain control over your joy.

After experiencing infidelity, the focus should be on healing, understanding, and empowerment rather than seeking revenge.

Prioritising self-care, setting boundaries, seeking professional advice, having honest conversations, and considering forgiveness can help you navigate this tough situation and emerge stronger, with a clearer idea of what you want and deserve in a relationship.

If you like this article, read more here.