OPINION

5 Ways To Survive A Breakup Without Breaking Down

Published

9 months ago

February 2, 2024

5 Ways To Survive A Breakup Without Breaking Down | Fab.ng

Let’s face it, a breakup can be brutal. They throw us on a wild emotional rollercoaster, leaving even the most stable feeling like they’re teetering on the brink. But hold on tight, friend! There’s light at the end of the tunnel and ways to weather this storm and emerge stronger, wiser, and ready to shine.

Buckle up, and let’s explore five practical strategies to help you not just survive a breakup but thrive beyond it.

1. Allow yourself to grieve

Breakups are rough, and it’s totally normal to feel like a mess afterwards. Whether you’re sad, angry, confused, or all of the above, that’s okay.

Don’t try to bottle it up. Let yourself feel what you feel. Cry if you need to, yell into a pillow, and write everything down in a journal—whatever helps you express those emotions and get them out.

Remember, letting it out can actually help you start feeling better sooner. It’s like cleaning out a wound—it might sting at first, but it helps it heal in the long run. So go ahead, let it all out, and know that you’re not alone in feeling this way.

2. Lean on your support system

Breakups can feel super lonely, but you don’t have to face it all by yourself. Remember those awesome friends and family you have who care about you tonnes? Now’s the time to reach out and chat.

5 Ways To Survive A Breakup Without Breaking Down | Fab.ng

Talking to someone you trust can really help you feel better and see things more clearly. They can listen, offer advice, or just be there with you, like a comfy shoulder to cry on.

Don’t be shy; having a strong support system during this tough time is super important. So lean on them, and remember, they’re there for you.

3. Focus on self-care

Breakups can leave you feeling drained, both physically and emotionally. But listen up, this is your time to focus on taking care of yourself. Fuel your body with healthy food, get your sweat on with some exercise, and don’t forget to catch those Zzzs.

Remember, sleep is your friend! Find things that make you smile and unwind, like reading a good book, getting creative with paint, or soaking up the fresh air in nature. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s how you’ll bounce back stronger and feeling your best again.

12 Ways To Focus On Your Self-Care - fab.ng

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4. Set boundaries

Seeing your ex on social media after a breakup can be like picking at a scab; it just keeps the hurt going. To help yourself heal faster, it might be a good idea to hit that “unfollow” button or mute them for a while. This gives you some emotional space and avoids unnecessary reminders.

If You Struggle With Setting Boundaries, Here's What You Should Do | Fab.ng

It’s okay to set boundaries, even if that means saying no to contact for a bit. A clean break might feel tough at first, but it can actually help you see things clearly and move forward in a healthier way. So, hit that “mute” button and know that it’s all part of taking care of yourself.

5. Reflect and learn

Even though breakups can feel awful, they can actually teach us a lot about ourselves and what we’re looking for in someone special. Take some time to think about what you learned from this experience, both the good and the not-so-good. Did you realise how important it is to talk openly and honestly? Or maybe you figured out the qualities that are truly important to you in a partner.

How To Stop Thinking About Someone in 8 Easy Steps | Fab.ng

Use this breakup as a chance to grow and discover more about yourself, like a personal adventure. Also, know that healing takes time, so don’t be hard on yourself. Just take things one step at a time, and you’ll be feeling like your amazing self again before you know it.

Bonus tip: Seek professional help if needed

Sometimes, breakups can feel overwhelming, and that’s totally okay! If you’re finding it tough to cope on your own, there’s no shame in asking for help.

Therapists and counsellors are like experts in feelings, and they can teach you tools and tricks to deal with your emotions in a healthy way. They’ll be there to listen, support you, and guide you on your road to feeling better again.

Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. So if you need it, don’t hesitate to find a therapist or counsellor who can be your partner in healing.

If you like this article, you can read more here.

Related Topics:Breakup love Relationship

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OPINION

7 Relationship Conversation You Must Have With Your Partner

Published

5 days ago

October 13, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Relationship conversation topics to have with your partner | fab.ng

What is a relationship conversation?

How partners share their emotions directly shapes their intimacy and future relationship patterns. This emotional exchange helps them form a meaningful bond.

Relationship conversations involve open communication on various subjects that lay the foundation for growth. Couples can intentionally build a deeper, more intimate connection through these relationship conversation topics. Ultimately, discussing these topics is key to creating a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Are conversation topics important in a relationship?

In a relationship, communication builds a stronger and better connection. Yes, conversations matter. Listed below are the benefits of communication between partners:

It strengthens the relationship.
It clarifies doubts, leaving no room for guesses and assumptions.
It eliminates misunderstandings.
It allows partners to be supportive and understanding of each other.
It sets boundaries and expectations.
It builds a deeper understanding.

When should you have a relationship conversation?

Relationship conversation topics can change depending on the stage of the relationship you’re in with your partner. The depth of these conversations often reflects how far along you are in the relationship.

When you’re in the dating phase, research suggests having the “What Are We” talk or discussing the possibility of a relationship within 3 to 6 months of dating. This timeframe allows both individuals to assess if they want to continue the relationship or part ways.

If you’re already in a committed relationship and need to discuss more serious matters, like finances or family planning, it’s important to ensure both partners are calm before starting the conversation. This approach helps make relationship conversation topics productive and respectful, allowing both parties to engage meaningfully.

Relationship conversation topics to have with your partner | fab.ng

7 relationship conversation topics you can have with your partner

Looking for meaningful relationship conversation topics to discuss with your partner? Here are some engaging ideas that can spark deeper connections.

When talking with your significant other, one important tip is to avoid small talk. Whether it’s a first date, you’re already in a committed relationship, or planning to marry soon—ditch the small talk. Seriously, don’t do it. Period.

Instead, dive into conversations that ignite your passion. Discuss your career goals, dreams, and aspirations. Talk about your hobbies and interests. These topics keep the conversation exciting and engaging, allowing you to connect on a deeper level.

Ask creative, open-ended questions that can spark your partner’s excitement. Don’t stress too much about what to ask—just be genuine. Show your real, authentic self, and let your partner see you in your rawest form.

Engaging in meaningful conversations helps set expectations as your relationship progresses. The deeper you dive into these topics, the more your bond grows.

Here are some thought-provoking questions to foster engagement between you and your partner:

Who are the top five people you’d call immediately if you were in trouble?
What personal flaw could you turn into one of your greatest strengths?
What are you truly passionate about?
What question have you always wanted an answer to?
How far do you agree that individuals in a relationship should maintain their own identities instead of one becoming a shadow of the other?

This list of questions can go on endlessly. The more you ask, the more you’ll learn about your partner, keeping the interest alive if you both share similar values and goals.

Ultimately, all you need is a little creativity. Be open, expressive, and real. Show your true self, and let the conversation flow naturally.

1. Crystal clear discussions about your past

Talk openly about your past. Relationships require commitment and loyalty. It’s not something you wake up one day and suddenly want to end. Be thoughtful and selective when choosing a partner.

Before acting on emotions or impulses, take time to discuss each other’s past. If any experiences or feelings are invalidated, it may be a signal to reassess the relationship. Keep the conversation honest and clear.

2. Talk about future goals

It’s fine to delay future planning for a while, as it can feel overwhelming. However, don’t avoid discussing it altogether.

Instead of jumping to conclusions or arguing, work on reconciling any differences. It’s important to know what type of relationship your partner wants.

Importantly, talk about future goals. If your differences seem irreconcilable, it may be time to rethink the relationship.

3. Family planning

Discuss whether you want children and how you envision raising a family. These are important questions to bring up with your partner.

Your significant other might not believe in marriage or may not want kids right now. It’s essential to be clear about these decisions early on.

4. Discuss trauma and hurtful experiences

Have heart-to-heart conversations about past trauma, such as exes, betrayals, or family issues. Share the experiences that have deeply affected you.

Your partner should understand and accept the person you’ve become, shaped by these intense experiences.

5. Money

Financial problems are a major cause of divorce. Issues like differing attitudes toward money, debts, and a lack of financial goals can strain a relationship.

You must take finances seriously in your conversations. Don’t brush them aside. Discuss money matters often and set financial goals together.

6. Intimacy

Though it can feel difficult to start these conversations, they should come naturally if you prioritize your personal life.

When discussing intimacy, explore each other’s love languages, favourite memories, and preferences. These talks can strengthen your bond. You must also discuss your sexual expectations at this point.

7. Values

You and your partner were raised differently, so it’s natural to have different values. To deepen your connection, ask meaningful questions to better understand each other:

What are you most selfish about?
What do you worry about the most?
What motivates you professionally?
What’s more important: forgiveness or acceptance?

How to keep conversations lively

For meaningful relationship conversations, communication should feel free-flowing and fresh. To avoid a boring routine, here are tips for keeping conversations engaging:

Open-ended questions

Ask open-ended questions instead of simple Yes-No ones. This sparks deeper conversations. Questions like “What was the best part of your day?” or “What should we plan for the weekend?” can keep the discussion going.

Talk about positive and negative things

Share not only the good things but also what you dislike. Express your views honestly, and your partner will likely share theirs too.

Spend digital-free time

When you want real conversations, put your phones and laptops aside. These devices can distract you and keep you from connecting fully.

Listen

Good conversations are not just about expressing yourself but also about listening to your partner. Pay attention when they need someone to hear them out.

Listening skills

Avoid making assumptions about your partner. This leads to misunderstandings. Instead, ask questions to keep the conversation flowing and positive.

Final Thoughts

In reality, there’s no magical solution or perfect conversation that can guarantee a lasting relationship if both partners don’t accept their differences. Be patient and avoid letting strong emotions cloud your judgment.

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OPINION

9 Memorable Date Ideas To Reignite Your Relationship

Published

2 weeks ago

October 5, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Going out for dinner at your favourite restaurant or catching a movie at the local cinema can be fun date ideas for couples. However, over time, these ideas may feel repetitive and lose their spark.

If you and your partner have been married for a while, finding fresh dating ideas for couples can be challenging as you run out of new ways to enjoy each other’s company. But don’t worry—there are still plenty of romantic dating ideas for couples to help rekindle that sense of adventure and excitement.

If you and your spouse love food, here’s a great idea. Start by visiting a new bistro with delicious appetizers, and perhaps pair your meal with sangria or a cocktail. Afterwards, head to a restaurant you’ve never tried for a delightful dinner.

Finally, if you both have a sweet tooth, finish the evening with some irresistible desserts at a different spot. These dating ideas for couples are sure to make your time together exciting again.

9 Memorable Dating Ideas for Couples

1. Plan a Restaurant Tour

If you and your spouse love food, a restaurant tour can be one of the most exciting date ideas for couples. Start by choosing a bistro you’ve never tried before, known for its fantastic appetizers.

Pair your food with a glass of refreshing cocktail to kick off the day. After enjoying some appetizers, head to a nearby restaurant that neither of you has been to for a delightful main course.

For a sweet ending, visit a spot known for mouthwatering desserts. This fun and flavorful adventure is a perfect way to bond over your shared love of food.

2. Have a Romantic Picnic

Date Ideas for Couples | fab.ng

If walking in the park no longer feels romantic, it’s time to switch things up with a cosy picnic. Dust off that picnic basket you’ve had stored away, and plan a relaxing outdoor date.

You and your partner can prepare simple meals together, like Caprese sandwiches or a fresh Greek salad. Don’t forget to pack a bottle of wine and a few blankets for lounging in the grass.

As you enjoy your homemade meal, the beautiful scenery and fresh air will make this one of the most memorable date ideas for couples. A romantic picnic is a simple yet heartfelt way to spend quality time together.

3. Enroll in a Cooking Class

For couples who enjoy cooking together, enrolling in a cooking class can be a fun and interactive way to spend time with your spouse. Whether it’s learning to make a particular soup or dish, you’ll discover new culinary skills while bonding over food.

Cooking classes offer a break from daily responsibilities and allow you to focus on each other while learning something new.

Additionally, you might meet like-minded couples who share your passion for food, making this one of the best date ideas for couples looking to expand their horizons. Plus, cooking together is a form of therapy that helps you relax and reconnect.

To make things easier, check out some dishes you can prepare for a couple’s dinner below.

4. Visit a Gallery or Museum

Date Ideas for Couples | fab.ng

Art galleries and museums provide a wonderful escape from the daily routine and offer great date ideas for couples. Even if you’re not an art expert, strolling through an exhibit can spark intriguing conversations and give you both a new appreciation for creativity.

You might even get to enjoy free snacks and drinks while taking in the artwork. For an extra dose of fun, check out museums with interactive exhibits, like any of the art museums in Nigeria. This kind of outing will give you and your partner a fresh experience, making it one of the most unique and exciting ways to spend a day together.

5. Take Pottery or Painting Classes

If you’re looking for a hands-on, creative activity, try signing up for a pottery or painting class with your spouse. Pottery is a fantastic way to get messy while learning a new skill, and it’s a great option for couples looking to try something out of the ordinary.

For an added twist, consider visiting a paint-and-sip studio where you can enjoy drinks while creating your masterpiece.

This fun and interactive date will allow you to express your artistic side and bond over a shared creative experience. This makes it one of the most engaging date ideas for couples.

6. Give Wine Tasting a Go

Wine tasting is one of the classiest and most romantic date ideas for couples. Whether you’re a wine enthusiast or simply looking to try something new, wine tasting is a great way to break free from your usual date routine.

You don’t even have to travel to a vineyard—many local wine bars host tasting events where you can explore different flavours together. You can see how to pair wines with food here.

Before you head out, take the time to figure out what types of wine you both enjoy, so you can choose the perfect tasting experience. Wine tasting offers a sophisticated yet relaxed atmosphere, making it a fantastic date option for couples looking to unwind and reconnect.

7. Volunteer with Your Partner

Volunteering together is a meaningful way to spend time with your spouse while giving back to the community. Whether you’re helping at a local shelter, cleaning up a park, or participating in a charity event, volunteering allows you to work as a team and make a positive impact.

Not only will you be helping others, but volunteering can also strengthen your relationship by fostering a sense of shared purpose. The brain’s reward centre gets activated when we help others, so you and your partner are likely to feel fulfilled and happy by the end of the day.

Volunteering is one of the most rewarding date ideas for couples, combining love with a sense of responsibility to your community.

8. Attend a Live Show or Concert

For couples who love music or theatre, attending a live performance can be one of the most entertaining date ideas for couples. Whether it’s a concert, a comedy show, or a play, live performances create an exciting atmosphere where you can enjoy each other’s company while experiencing something new.

What’s more, look for local venues hosting events that match both of your interests. Also, you can surprise your spouse with tickets to see their favourite artist or band. The thrill of a live show, combined with the energy of the crowd, will make for a night you’ll both remember.

9. Go Hiking Together

Active young black couple hiking in mountains fall season outdoors | Premium AI-generated image

For couples who enjoy the great outdoors, hiking is one of the most active and adventurous date ideas for couples. Choose a scenic trail where you can spend the day walking through nature. Moreso, where breathing in fresh air, and taking in beautiful views can work.

Hiking allows you to disconnect from the digital world and focus on each other while enjoying physical activity. Pack a backpack with snacks and water, and maybe even a small picnic to enjoy at the summit.

Whether you’re tackling a challenging hike or enjoying a leisurely stroll, this date will help you bond over a shared love for nature and adventure.

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OPINION

5 Truths That Can Save Your Love Life

Published

3 weeks ago

September 28, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Truths That Can Save Your Love Life | fab.ng

Wanna the truths that can save your love life? Listen up, my people! Over the years, there have been all sorts of love issues. Trust me, it’s not been small at all.

From people getting ghosted like they’re invisible, to those dealing with partners who aren’t serious, to the headache of deciding whether to leave a relationship that’s just okay but not quite right.

Finding love? Abeg, it can be messier than Oshodi traffic on a Monday morning!

Now, I can’t give you one simple formula or catchy phrase that’ll solve all your love problems like magic. But best believe, I’ve picked up some valuable lessons along the way that can save your love life.

I will drop five big truths about love and relationships that you need to hold tight. These truths, I’m telling you, can save your love life if you take them seriously. They’ll help you navigate this crazy love thing we’re all trying to figure out.

Remember, finding true love is a journey, not a quick trip to the corner store. So take it easy, learn as you go, and always believe that your own love story is coming. These truths will save your love life if you let them, so keep them close to your heart, okay? Let’s go!

1. Be open about who you meet, but very selective about who you invest in.

Many single people approach dating like this: they swipe through profiles, attend parties, and go to singles’ events. Meanwhile, there’s this constant “NO” voice in their heads, telling them why they shouldn’t talk to someone. The voice says things like:

“Is he really wearing those shorts with that shirt?”

“She reads that silly book?”

“His smile looks too cocky.”

“I don’t trust anyone who wears beanies. She must be one of those annoying hipsters.” And on and on it goes…

Now, we all have standards, and that’s perfectly fine. But maybe that voice—the one that’s always giving us reasons not to engage—doesn’t have our best interests at heart. Because when that voice keeps you from talking to people, you end up meeting hardly anyone at all.

In fact, you meet so few people that when you finally meet one person you like, your brain jumps into overdrive, shouting, “This is it! They’re perfect!” as if you’ve found some magical solution to everything. Never mind that this person might vanish for weeks, stop responding, and then suddenly pop up again with a half-hearted “Hey, you up?” (Yes, in this flimsy metaphor, people are like bananas).

The smart way to date is to reverse this mindset: be open to talking to different people, even if it’s just for a short while. But when it comes to investing your emotions, that’s where you should be extra selective.

2. Value character as much as you value chemistry.

Hollywood and romantic novels have conditioned us to believe that if love isn’t making your heart race and leaving you breathless at every encounter, then you’re not doing it right.

Now, I’m all for that intense, passion-filled excitement that comes with the honeymoon phase of a relationship. It’s thrilling, and we all enjoy those moments of pure chemistry. But too often, we let this intoxicating excitement overshadow the more important qualities of the person standing in front of us.

Do they keep their word and follow through on what they promise? Can they truly be loyal? Do they lift you up, encouraging you and making your life feel lighter? Or do they constantly complain and leave you out of their plans?

The sooner we recognize that character and chemistry deserve equal weight, the more fulfilled and content we’ll be in the relationships we choose to build.

3. If it’s a choice between being respected and being liked, choose being respected.

Of course, you can achieve both—you can be respected and liked at the same time. But there are moments when you face a choice: do you give in to your people-pleasing tendencies and say what the other person wants to hear? Or do you stand your ground, respect yourself, and express your true needs or opinions, even if it might rub them the wrong way at that moment?

It could be setting a boundary, asking them to take the initiative and plan the next date, calling someone out on their bad behaviour, or simply ensuring that your other priorities in life stay balanced.

Whatever the situation, if you handle it with honesty and thoughtfulness, both your sense of self-worth and the way others value you will grow.

4. Disinterest is a turn-off. When someone gives you less, you should be less interested.

We’re often told that great love must come with challenges. And yes, challenges can be exciting if they come from someone who pushes us to become better versions of ourselves. But when someone is showing clear disinterest or outright ignoring you, that should always be a red flag, not something you chase after.

If there’s one lesson that could save countless people from wasting time longing for the wrong person, it’s this: someone not wanting you should instantly make you lose interest.

Why? Because, no matter how amazing this person seems on paper, they simply cannot meet your needs. They’ve failed one of the most basic requirements of loving you: the desire to be present and show it.

Start valuing how someone treats you just as much as you value chemistry and connection, and you’ll find that dating becomes a lot less complicated.

5. Choose a partner you can have a 50+ year conversation with.

Credit goes to writer David Brooks who once said, “Marriage is a 50-year conversation.”

When you truly understand the depth of that statement, it changes how you choose who to spend your life with. You begin to see the mistake of picking someone based purely on their status, looks, job, or seemingly glamorous lifestyle.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want a partner who brings you joy in various ways, but it’s a reminder that beyond the Instagram-perfect moments of trips to Dubai and ice cream on the beach, there’s the real, everyday life you’ll share.

The dinner table conversations. Relaxing together after a long day. Taking a lazy Sunday stroll. Long car rides. Raising children. Spending time with each other’s family and friends.

So, the real question becomes: Can I spend “that” much time with this person? Am I in love with their soul? Do I enjoy hearing their thoughts? Can they connect with my mind? Do they understand me and make me feel at home?

Start with those questions, and you’ll find it much harder to make the wrong choice.

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