RELATIONSHIP

Why Guys Start Caring Once You Stop Caring

Published

3 months ago

February 25, 2024

Why Guys Start Caring Once You Stop Caring | Fab.ng

Ever felt like you’re finally moving on, only for that “special someone” to suddenly show interest? It’s like they can sense you’re done waiting around, and boom! They’re back on the scene and are all caring. Why does this happen? Is it just bad timing, or is there something more to it?

It’s a common scenario: you’ve been investing time and energy into a relationship, but it feels like your efforts are going unnoticed. Then, the moment you start to pull back and prioritise yourself, suddenly the guy starts to show more interest and care.

Understanding why guys might act this way is like peeling an onion—there are lots of layers. It can be confusing and sometimes even frustrating, but we will explore some possible reasons behind their sudden change of heart.

1. Fear of losing you

One reason why guys may start caring more once you stop caring is the fear of losing you. When they sense that you’re becoming less available or less invested in the relationship, they realise that they might lose the connection they once had. This fear of loss can trigger them to step up their efforts and show more care and attention.

2. Taking you for granted

Sometimes, guys may take your care and affection for granted when they feel like they have you securely in their lives. They may not fully appreciate your efforts until they realise that you’re pulling back or withdrawing your attention. This realisation can prompt them to reassess their priorities and start caring more to avoid losing you.

3. Need for validation

Guys, like everyone else, crave validation and affirmation. When they sense that you’re no longer as invested in the relationship, it can trigger feelings of insecurity and uncertainty. In response, they may start caring more and seeking reassurance from you to validate their worth and importance in your life.

4. Desire for challenge

Some guys are drawn to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of winning someone over. When they perceive that you’re no longer as readily available or responsive, it ignites their competitive instincts and motivates them to pursue you more actively. The challenge of winning back your attention can be exhilarating and drive them to show more care and effort.

5. Self-reflection

When you stop caring, it can serve as a wake-up call for guys to reflect on their behaviour and the dynamics of the relationship. They may realise that they’ve been neglecting your needs or taking you for granted, prompting them to make an effort to change their ways and demonstrate genuine care and appreciation.

6. Personal growth

Maybe they’ve experienced some personal growth and now realise what they truly value in a partner. Your “new you” might actually be more appealing to them now.

In conclusion…

It can be frustrating to witness guys start caring only after you’ve stopped caring. It’s important to recognise that this behaviour often stems from complex psychological factors.

Whether it’s fear of loss, taking you for granted, seeking validation, craving challenges, or prompting self-reflection, understanding these dynamics can help navigate relationships more effectively.

Ultimately, open communication and mutual respect are key to fostering healthy and balanced relationships where care and affection are consistently reciprocated.

Remember, everyone is different, and their motivations can be complex. Don’t get swept away by sudden attention if it doesn’t feel genuine. Focus on what YOU want and prioritise your own happiness, no matter what games others might be playing.

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OPINION

Is Your Partner Getting Close To Their Ex? Here’s What To Do

Published

3 days ago

May 12, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Do these if your partner starts getting close to their ex | Fab.ng

It can be a real gut punch to see your partner getting close to their ex. A whirlwind of emotions—insecurity, jealousy, and confusion—can leave you feeling lost. Before you spiral, take a deep breath and consider the situation.

Here are 7 steps you can take when your partner is getting close to their ex:

1. Decode your feelings

Start with some self-reflection. What exactly is bugging you? Are you feeling insecure about your place in the relationship? Does the renewed contact with the ex trigger past experiences of betrayal? Identifying the root of your discomfort is crucial for effective communication.

2. Communicate your feelings openly and honestly

Once you’ve untangled your emotions, it’s time for a heart-to-heart with your partner. Choose a calm, private moment and express your concerns. Here’s the key: use “I” statements.

Instead of accusatory phrases like “You’re always talking to your ex,” try “I feel insecure when you spend a lot of time with them.” This approach focuses on your feelings and opens the door for a productive conversation.

Listen attentively to your partner’s perspective too. Try to understand why they feel the need for this reconnection. Is it unresolved issues, shared childcare responsibilities, or a genuine desire to maintain a civil friendship?

3. Take a relationship inventory

Sometimes, increased contact with an ex can be a symptom of a deeper issue in your current relationship. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your dynamics.

Are your needs being met? Is there a sense of disconnect that might be pushing your partner towards their ex for emotional fulfilment? Talk openly and honestly about these issues and explore ways to strengthen your bond.

4. Respect boundaries, but set your own

If your partner has a child with their ex, regular contact is likely unavoidable. That’s okay! Respect these boundaries and discuss how you’d like to be involved, especially if it impacts your family dynamic.

For instance, if your partner has weekend visits with their ex and child, is there a way you can participate in some of those activities to create a sense of togetherness?

It’s also perfectly reasonable to feel uncomfortable if the level of contact with the ex seems excessive or emotionally charged. Communicate these boundaries clearly and respectfully to your partner.

5. Focus on trust and transparency

Open communication and trust are the bedrock of any strong relationship. If your partner is open and honest about their interactions with their ex, it can significantly ease your anxieties.

They should be willing to share details about the nature of their communication and assure you that there’s nothing to hide. However, if you discover a pattern of secrecy or dishonesty, it’s a major red flag that needs to be addressed directly.

6. Don’t let the ex steal your spotlight

It’s easy to get caught up in the drama of your partner’s past relationship. But don’t let the ex become the centre of your attention. Focus on strengthening the bond you share with your partner.

Plan exciting date nights, engage in shared activities you both enjoy, and maintain open communication. Invest in making your own relationship a priority.

7. Seek professional help when needed

If communication seems like an insurmountable hurdle or insecurities are overwhelming, consider seeking professional help from a couples therapist. A therapist can provide a safe space for open communication and guide you both towards healthy relationship dynamics.

They can also help you identify underlying issues that might be contributing to the situation and develop strategies to address them.

Bonus tips:

Don’t be possessive: While it’s natural to want to feel secure in your relationship, avoid controlling your partner’s interactions. Encourage healthy boundaries with their ex, but don’t try to isolate them. Trust is a two-way street, and fostering a sense of independence will ultimately strengthen your bond.
Maintain your self-confidence: Don’t let the presence of an ex chip away at your self-worth. Remind yourself of what makes you an amazing partner and the unique qualities you bring to the relationship.
Don’t snoop: The urge to check your partner’s phone or social media for reassurance might be strong, but resist it! This behaviour can damage trust and create unnecessary tension.

Remember, open communication and trust are key. By addressing your concerns honestly and working together towards healthy boundaries, you can navigate this situation and emerge with a stronger, more secure relationship.

Read more about love and relationships here.

OPINION

6 Mistakes “Good Girls” Make In Relationships

Published

1 month ago

April 6, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

In relationships, some people try really hard to be “good girls” or “good guys.” They might bend over backwards to be accommodating. They put their partner’s needs first all the time and strive to be the perfect person in the relationship. But there can be a downside to this.

These behaviours can create an unequal dynamic where one person feels like they’re giving way too much and not getting enough back. This can lead to unhappiness and resentment for both partners.

So, let’s look at some things to watch out for:

1. Not asking for anything

One of the things “good girls” often do in relationships is try to handle everything themselves. They might avoid asking their partner for help with chores, favours, or even emotional support. This might be because they want to seem independent or not high-maintenance. But here’s the problem: bottling things up all the time can lead to an unfair situation in the relationship.

If you never ask for help, your partner might not even know you need it! This can leave you feeling unsupported and frustrated, while your partner keeps thinking everything is okay.

The key thing to remember is that asking for help isn’t a weakness; it’s actually a sign of a healthy relationship. By openly communicating your needs, you and your partner can work together to create a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.

2. Tolerating too much

Sometimes in relationships, girls want to be seen as super understanding and forgiving. This can lead to them putting up with things that actually make them uncomfortable or go against their values. But here’s the thing: healthy relationships are all about respect.

It’s important to set boundaries with your partner and to make sure those boundaries are respected. This means you both deserve to be treated with dignity, and that includes not having to tolerate bad behaviour.

3. Doing all the house chores to prove yourself

In a relationship, don’t try to be the superhero who does all the chores! Taking on everything to prove yourself can leave you feeling burnt out and frustrated.

The best relationships are partnerships. This means both people contribute to the home and support each other.

Sharing chores isn’t just about making things easier, it’s also about working together as a team and feeling like equals. So, ditch the “I’ll do it all” attitude and split the chores. You’ll both be happier for it.

4. Not being vocal about what you want

Don’t bottle things up! Whether it’s something in the bedroom, a big life decision, or even just your preferences for dinner, not talking about what you want can lead to trouble. If you keep your desires to yourself, you might end up feeling unheard, unsatisfied, and even invisible in your relationship.

The key to a happy and fulfilling relationship is open communication. Be honest about what you want and need. This way, your partner can understand you better, and you both can work together to create a relationship where everyone feels respected and considered.

5. Lowering your standards

In relationships, it’s tempting to bend over backwards to keep someone happy. You might compromise on things that are really important to you, like your beliefs, dreams, or what you expect from a partner. But doing this to avoid being single or just staying in a relationship can make you unhappy in the long run.

Remember, a good relationship should make your life better, not worse. It shouldn’t force you to give up on who you are or what you want to achieve. Hold onto your standards! Find someone who respects and supports your true self, goals, and values. That’s the recipe for real happiness.

So how do you avoid these “good girl” traps? Just follow the list below:

Know yourself: Take time to think about what’s important to you in life. What are your values, goals, and dreams? Don’t lose sight of who you are just to please someone else.
Believe in yourself: Feeling good about yourself is essential. You deserve to be in a relationship where you’re respected and valued for who you are.
Talk it out: Open communication is key! Don’t be afraid to express your needs and desires. A healthy relationship is a two-way street where both partners feel heard and understood.

Remember, being a “good girl” doesn’t mean giving up on yourself. A real relationship is built on respect, understanding, and support. You and your partner should both feel happy and fulfilled.

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OPINION

5 Subtle Ways To Punish A Cheating Partner

Published

2 months ago

March 30, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Cheating Partner: 5 Subtle Ways To Punish Them | Fab.ng

Finding out you have a cheating partner can be a huge shock. It can make you feel like you can’t trust them anymore and hurt the closeness you had. You might want to get revenge at first, but it’s better to take a step back and think clearly.

This article offers a way to deal with this situation that’s both classy and keeps your future in mind. It will help you figure out what to do next without losing your self-respect.

1. Focus on self-care

The most important thing after finding out your partner cheated is to take care of yourself. It’s normal to feel super upset and confused, so focus on things that make you feel better.

This could be anything that relaxes you or makes you happy, like starting a new hobby, meditating, or hanging out with supportive friends and family.

While you’re healing, your ex might notice you looking and feeling good. Here’s the best part: the best revenge is taking care of yourself and showing your ex what they lost. They’ll see you thriving and know they messed up by letting you go.

2. Set clear boundaries

It’s important to set boundaries with your partner, and this isn’t just about getting revenge; it’s about respecting yourself. Tell them clearly what you will and won’t accept going forward.

This might mean needing some time apart to figure out how you feel and what you want for the future of the relationship.

Setting boundaries is a big step in healing because it stops your partner from disrespecting you again. It also helps you figure out if you can get back together or if it’s time to move on.

3. Improve on yourself

Getting help from friends and family is great, but you can also focus on improving yourself. This could be anything you enjoy, like learning a new skill or spending time in nature.

Working on yourself will boost your confidence and help you move on. You’ll be too busy becoming your best self to be stuck with your ex.

4. Empowerment through forgiveness

Forgiving a cheating partner might seem impossible, but it’s actually for you, not them. It’s about letting go of all that anger and hurt you’re feeling, not saying what they did was okay.

Forgiveness can help you heal and move on, no matter if you stay together or break up.

5. Embrace the possibility of moving on

Recognising when it’s time to move on is important for respecting yourself and finding future happiness. Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting; it means choosing to find happiness and fulfilment elsewhere.

It involves being open to new possibilities, relationships, and experiences that match your values and desires for love and respect.

One effective way to deal with a cheating partner is to let them know they no longer have the same access to you. Forgiving them and yourself is crucial for finding peace and happiness again. Forgiveness can help you regain control over your joy.

After experiencing infidelity, the focus should be on healing, understanding, and empowerment rather than seeking revenge.

Prioritising self-care, setting boundaries, seeking professional advice, having honest conversations, and considering forgiveness can help you navigate this tough situation and emerge stronger, with a clearer idea of what you want and deserve in a relationship.

If you like this article, read more here.