SEX

8 Most Common Sexual Fantasies And What To Do About Them

Published

3 weeks ago

August 25, 2024

Sexual Fantasies And What To Do About Them | fab.ng

Sexual fantasies are an integral part of your mental landscape, as natural as daydreaming about your next vacation or imagining yourself as the hero in an action movie. You might find some fantasies arousing only in your mind, while others spark a desire to bring them into reality.

You must recognize that not all fantasies should be acted upon, especially if they involve illegal activities. If you find yourself frequently fantasizing about unlawful sexual acts and feel compelled to explore them, seek help from a qualified sex therapist who can guide you through these complex feelings safely and ethically.

You’re not alone in your sexual fantasies.

Every human being experiences sexual thoughts and desires. Your mind wanders to erotic scenarios because it’s wired to do so. Many people feel a sense of shame or embarrassment about their inner erotic world, but you should know that no matter what your fantasies entail, they’re a normal part of human sexuality.

By openly discussing sexual fantasies, we can normalize these conversations and reduce the self-judgment that often accompanies them. This article aims to provide you with a comprehensive guide to common sexual fantasies, helping you understand and potentially healthily explore them.

Remember, the world of sexual fantasies is vast and varied. Whether your thoughts align with common themes or veer into unique territory, they’re a valid part of your sexuality. Therefore, embrace your fantasies as a natural expression of your erotic self. And use them as a tool for self-discovery and enhanced sexual experiences, always within the bounds of legality and mutual consent.

As you read on, you’ll discover that your secret desires might be more common than you think. We’ll explore various fantasies that many people share, along with suggestions for how to bring them into your real-life experiences if you choose to do so. And if you don’t find your particular fantasy listed here? Well, congratulations – you’ve got an imagination that’s more inventive than most!

1. Role-playing

You’ve probably imagined yourself or your partner as someone else during intimate moments. Maybe you picture yourself as a powerful executive and your partner as an eager intern, or perhaps you fantasize about being a patient examined by a thorough doctor. Role-playing allows you to step outside yourself and explore different dynamics.

What to do:

Start by discussing your ideas with your partner. Choose scenarios you both find exciting and establish boundaries. Begin with light role-play, perhaps just using verbal cues or simple costume elements. As you get more comfortable, you can elaborate on your scenarios and even create backstories for your characters.

2. Group sex or threesomes

The psychology of the threesome: everyone wants one, but who's truly ready for it? | Sex | The Guardian

The idea of multiple partners is a turn-on for many people. Whether it’s imagining a threesome or a larger group encounter, this fantasy often stems from desires for increased stimulation or taboo-breaking.

What to do:

Tread carefully here. While fantasizing is harmless, acting on this in real life can complicate relationships. If you’re in a committed relationship, have an open, honest discussion with your partner about your feelings.

Consider starting with “safer” activities like watching threesome porn together or talking through scenarios during foreplay. If you decide to pursue this in reality, establish clear rules and boundaries, and consider seeking guidance from a sex-positive therapist.

3. Domination and submission

Power play is a common theme in sexual fantasies. You might dream of taking complete control of your partner or surrendering yourself entirely to their desires. This fantasy often relates to escaping responsibility or exploring trust in a controlled environment.

What to do:

Communication is key. Discuss your interests and limits with your partner. Start small – perhaps with simple commands or light restraints like silk scarves. Always establish a safe word and respect it absolutely. As you explore, educate yourself about safe BDSM practices.

4. Sex in public or unusual places

The thrill of potentially being caught or the excitement of a new environment fuels this common fantasy. You might imagine making love on a moonlit beach, in a forest, or even in a more risky public setting.

What to do:

Remember, public sex is often illegal. Instead, try creating the illusion of public sex in safer ways. Leave the curtains slightly open, have sex in front of a mirror, or try new rooms in your home. If you’re set on outdoor adventures, look for secluded areas or sex-positive resorts that cater to exhibitionists.

5. Using sex toys or light bondage

Incorporating toys or restraints into your sex life is a fantasy for many. This could range from using a simple vibrator to more elaborate bondage scenarios.

What to do:

Start by shopping for toys together, either online or at a sex-positive store. Begin with less intimidating items and work your way up as you become more comfortable.

For bondage, start with simple restraints like ties or purpose-made Velcro cuffs. Always prioritize safety, establish boundaries, and have a way to release restraints if needed quickly.

6. Partner swapping or non-monogamy

Some people fantasize about opening up their relationship, whether through swinging, polyamory, or other forms of ethical non-monogamy.

What to do:

If you’re considering making this fantasy a reality, you must communicate extensively. Start by discussing your feelings openly with your partner.

Read books on ethical non-monogamy together and consider talking to a couples therapist who is experienced in these issues. If you decide to explore this, move slowly, establish clear rules, and keep communicating every step of the way.

7. Specific body parts or clothing fetishes

Many people have fantasies focused on particular body parts (like feet) or specific items of clothing (such as lingerie or uniforms).

What to do:

If your partner shares your interest, this can be one of the easier fantasies to explore. Start by incorporating more attention to the body part in question during foreplay, or by introducing the desired clothing items into your bedroom routine. If your partner isn’t into it, respect their feelings and keep it as a personal fantasy.

8. Novelty, adventure, and variety

Fantasies that involve sex in unusual locations—like on a beach, mountaintop, or in an aeroplane bathroom—or experimenting with new activities, such as incorporating a butt plug, are quite common. These fantasies often centre around the thrill of novelty, whether it’s trying a new sexual act like anal or oral sex, or engaging in an adventurous setting.

In long-term relationships, introducing novelty is crucial for combating bedroom boredom and maintaining a vibrant sex life. Engle emphasizes that trying new things can reignite the passion that was present at the beginning of the relationship, keeping the connection strong.

What to do:

If you’re interested in exploring new activities, such as anal play, trying different penetrative positions, experimenting with 69-ing, or introducing food into your sexual experience, the first step is to initiate a conversation about incorporating these acts.

To ensure your partner feels valued and not inadequate, frame the discussion around what you both can add to your sexual play. You might say, “I love how it feels when you’re inside me; how would you feel about exploring doggy style next time?” or “I love the way you look between my legs; would you like to taste me the next time we have sex?”

If you’re interested in trying the same activities but in a different setting, such as outside the bedroom, ask your partner if they’d be open to the idea.

Remember, fantasies are a normal part of sexuality, and simply having them doesn’t mean you need to act on them. The key is to approach them in a healthy, ethical way that respects both your desires and your partner’s boundaries.

If you find your fantasies are causing distress or interfering with your daily life, don’t hesitate to speak with a sex-positive therapist. They can help you understand and manage your desires healthily.

Ultimately, sexual fantasies can be a fun, exciting way to spice up your sex life and explore your desires. By approaching them with open communication, mutual respect, and a focus on safety and consent, you can create a more fulfilling and adventurous sex life.

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SEX

12 Daring Steps To Become A Sexually Confident Woman

Published

5 days ago

September 8, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Sexually Confident Woman: Daring Steps To Become One | fab.ng

Did you know that a shocking 80% of women admit to feeling insecure in the bedroom? This alarming statistic highlights the urgent need to discuss becoming a sexually confident woman.

In a society where female sexuality is often misunderstood and misrepresented, the journey to embrace one’s desires and communicate needs assertively is both groundbreaking and crucial. Whether you’re exploring a new relationship or seeking to strengthen your bond with your partner as a sexually confident wife, the path to sexual confidence is challenging but immensely empowering.

A sexually confident woman not only enjoys greater fulfilment in her intimate relationships but also carries this confidence into other aspects of her life. She breaks down barriers and sets new standards for what it means to be empowered.

What does it mean to be a sexually confident woman?

A sexually confident woman is someone who embraces her desires, understands her body, and expresses her needs without hesitation or shame. She knows her worth and seeks pleasure as much as she gives, creating a balanced and fulfilling sexual experience.

This confidence doesn’t mean being perfect; it’s about being open, curious, and respectful towards herself and her partner. For the sexually confident wife, it involves a journey of self-discovery and mutual exploration within the safety of marriage, enhancing intimacy and connection.

A sexually confident woman stands empowered, navigating her sexual life with assurance and making informed choices that prioritize her well-being and happiness.

Why is being sexually confident important for a woman?

A woman’s sexual confidence has a profound impact on her psychological well-being, relationship satisfaction, and overall quality of life. When a woman is sexually confident, she possesses a deep understanding of her desires and boundaries, empowering her to communicate effectively and pursue fulfilling sexual experiences.

This confidence boosts her self-esteem and contributes to healthier, more satisfying relationships. Additionally, dating a sexually confident woman can lead to a more open, honest, and enjoyable partnership. Both partners feel valued and understood in such a dynamic, fostering a stronger connection and mutual respect. This lays the foundation for a thriving relationship.

How can positive self-talk fuel a confidence journey instead of a one-time boost?

Positive self-talk is a potent tool in a woman’s journey towards becoming sexually confident. It’s not just a temporary boost but a continuous practice that reshapes how she perceives herself and her sexuality.

By affirming her worth, desires, and right to pleasure, a sexually confident woman gradually constructs a foundation of self-love and acceptance. This ongoing dialogue helps counteract negative thoughts and societal pressures, reinforcing her confidence in her body and sexual choices.

For a sexually confident woman, positive self-talk is a daily affirmation of her empowerment. It leads to a more fulfilling and authentic expression of her sexuality. It’s about nurturing a mindset that supports growth, resilience, and a deeper understanding of her sexual identity.

12 Steps to Becoming a Sexually Confident Woman

Embark on a transformative journey to unlock your sexual confidence as a woman. This journey not only enhances your intimate relationships but also empowers your overall sense of self.

Sexually Confident Woman | fab.ng

Here are 12 steps to guide you on this path to becoming a more sexually confident woman:

1. Educate Yourself

Diving deep into the world of sexual health, pleasure, and anatomy is crucial. A thorough understanding of how your body functions and what it enjoys can significantly boost your confidence. This education helps dispel myths and taboos surrounding sexuality, empowering you with knowledge and control over your sexual well-being.

2. Practice Self-Love

Self-love is the foundation of sexual confidence. Embracing your body, imperfections and strengths included, fosters a positive relationship with yourself. This means accepting your physical appearance, celebrating your uniqueness, and understanding that confidence originates from within, not external validation.

3. Communicate Openly

Open communication with your partner about desires, likes, dislikes, and boundaries is essential. It not only enhances intimacy but also ensures that your sexual experiences are fulfilling and respectful. Expressing yourself freely and listening to your partner in return builds a foundation of trust and mutual satisfaction.

4. Address Negative Self-Talk

Negative thoughts about your body or performance can hinder your sexual confidence. Actively challenging and replacing these thoughts with positive affirmations can shift your mindset and improve your self-image, leading to a more confident and liberated sexual self.

5. Explore Fantasies

Allowing yourself to explore and acknowledge your sexual fantasies can be incredibly liberating. It opens up new avenues for pleasure and can increase your confidence by understanding that your desires are normal and worth exploring within consensual and safe boundaries.

6. Experiment Safely

Trying new things within a consensual and safe environment can enrich your sexual experiences. Whether it’s new positions, activities, or incorporating toys, safe experimentation can lead to discoveries about your desires and increase your sexual confidence.

7. Seek Feedback

Discussing what works and what doesn’t with your partner is beneficial. This dialogue can lead to improved sexual experiences, making you feel more connected and confident in your ability to give and receive pleasure.

8. Embrace Vulnerability

Showing vulnerability with your partner can deepen your connection and enhance intimacy. It’s about sharing your fears, desires, and uncertainties, creating a stronger bond and a more fulfilling sexual relationship.

9. Practice Mindfulness

Being fully present during sexual activities can significantly enhance your enjoyment and connection with your partner. Mindfulness helps you focus on the sensations and emotions of the moment, reducing anxiety and increasing satisfaction.

10. Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you’re struggling with sexual confidence, seeking help from a therapist or sexual health professional can be incredibly beneficial. They can provide guidance, support, and strategies to overcome challenges, helping you move towards a more confident sexual self.

11. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

Engage with content and communities that celebrate and empower sexual health and confidence. Positive influences can inspire you and provide a supportive environment for your journey towards sexual confidence.

12. Celebrate Progress

Recognize and celebrate each step you take towards becoming more sexually confident. Whether it’s successfully communicating a desire, trying something new, or simply feeling more comfortable in your skin, every achievement is worth celebrating.

Facing a lack of sexual confidence often leads to questions about self-perception, communication, and consent. Here are concise answers to some frequently asked questions that might arise on your journey to becoming more comfortable and assertive in your sexuality.

How can I overcome negative self-talk related to my body and sexuality?

Start by identifying these negative thoughts as they arise. Challenge them with positive affirmations about your body and sexual worth. Practice self-love exercises and consider therapy to address deeper insecurities.

How can I communicate my needs and desires clearly in a relationship?

Begin by understanding your desires through self-reflection. Then, use “I” statements to express your needs calmly and clearly. Practice open and honest communication, and be willing to listen as much as you speak.

How can I set healthy boundaries and prioritize consent in sexual interactions?

Clearly communicate your boundaries from the beginning. Use affirmative language and never assume consent. Regularly check in with your partner during intimate moments and respect their boundaries as they should respect yours.

Finding Yourself as a Sexually Confident Woman

Becoming a sexually confident woman is a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and embracing your true desires. It’s about shedding societal constraints and exploring what genuinely brings you joy and fulfilment in your intimate life.

Take the first step today by engaging in open, honest conversations with yourself and your partner. Educate yourself about your own body and desires, and embrace your sexuality with openness and curiosity.

Remember, sexual confidence is not just about the physical act; it’s a state of mind that celebrates your uniqueness and autonomy. Let your journey towards sexual confidence transform not just your intimate moments, but every aspect of your life. Embrace this empowering journey with courage and an open heart.

Stay tuned for our next post on “steps to become a sexually confident man“. In the meantime, you can keep up with our sex page here.

OPINION

5 Types Of BDSM And Practice Tips

Published

2 weeks ago

September 1, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

BDSM encompasses types and a broad range of erotic practices and kinks. These practices build on power dynamics between consenting sexual partners. The term “BDSM” combines three acronyms. Each acronym represents a distinct community that uses power imbalance for sexual pleasure.

B/D stands for bondage and discipline. D/s refers to domination and submission. S/M denotes sadism and masochism. In BDSM encounters, one partner typically takes on the dominant role, often called the “dom.” The other partner embodies the submissive role, known as the “sub.” Together, they act out consensual fantasies.

Both partners derive sexual pleasure and satisfaction from performing their chosen roles during the encounter. The dominant partner may exercise control, while the submissive partner yields to that control. This power exchange forms the core of many BDSM practices.

The BDSM community often includes other “kinky” groups with nonconforming sexual interests or fetishes. For example, some individuals have rubber or leather fetishes. Others enjoy animal roleplay, where one partner takes on the role of an animal or pet.

BDSM emphasizes consent, communication, and mutual enjoyment. Participants negotiate boundaries and establish safe practices before engaging in activities. They often use safe words to ensure all parties can stop the action if needed.

BDSM encompasses various sexual preferences within the erotic community. These preferences interact and overlap in multiple ways.

4 main types dominate the BDSM outlook:

1. Bondage Play

Practitioners use tools to restrain one partner during sexual encounters. Common restraints include rope, leather straps, bondage tape, ties, handcuffs, spreader bars, ball gags, blindfolds, and chains.

These tools restrict the subject’s senses or movement, transferring control to the other partner. This restriction aims to heighten mutual sexual stimulation.

2. Discipline

The dominant partner establishes rules for the submissive partner to follow. These rules may be explicitly sexual, such as requiring oral sex at specific times. They can also be indirectly erotic, like prohibiting speaking out of turn.

When the submissive partner breaks a rule, the dominant partner assigns punishment. Punishments vary from withholding pleasure to inflicting pain (e.g., spanking or flogging) or imposing additional rules. Both partners find sexual gratification in this discipline roleplay.

3. Dominance and Submission (D/s)

D/s focuses on power and energy exchange between partners. One partner typically dominates the other physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually during a “scene” or “session.” The dominant partner explores the submissive partner’s desires, thoughts, and feelings, guiding both towards mutual pleasure.

Some practitioners, known as “switches,” enjoy alternating between dominant and submissive roles. D/s often incorporate specific attire during scenes, such as leather outfits, maid costumes, collars, leashes, and riding crops.

4. Sadomasochism

In this community, individuals derive sexual pleasure and endorphin rushes from inflicting or receiving pain, always consensually. Sadists enjoy inflicting pain, while masochists find pleasure in receiving it. The pain can be physical, involving whips, clamps, paddles, or electric stimulation. It can also be emotional, encompassing humiliation or total submission.

These four types of BDSM often intertwine and overlap in practice. Practitioners may engage in one or more types, tailoring their experiences to their specific desires and boundaries.

All BDSM activities emphasize consent, communication, and mutual enjoyment between partners.

6 tips for practising BDSM safely

1. Set ground rules with your partner

Establish clear boundaries and agreements with your partner before engaging in BDSM play. Discuss your comfort levels, desired roles, and expectations openly. Avoid pressuring each other into specific roles.

If you feel nervous about initiating the conversation, consider watching light BDSM erotica together to gauge interest. Learn effective ways to communicate about sex with your partner.

2. Select a safe word

Choose at least one safe word with your partner. Use this word to signal when a boundary has been crossed or when you need a break. Consider selecting two different safe words: one to stop all action immediately, and another to indicate approaching a boundary, prompting a change in direction.

3. Brainstorm roleplaying ideas

Explore various roleplay scenarios to ease into BDSM and overcome self-consciousness. Consider common dynamics like boss and employee, teacher and student, doctor and patient, or two strangers. These roles can help you distance yourself from the situation and relax into the experience.

4. Start small

Begin with light BDSM types if you’re new to the practice. Avoid purchasing complex equipment or expensive outfits initially. Focus on exploring discipline or D/s sessions that require only willing participants and imagination. If you want to buy equipment, start with simple items like blindfolds and wrist restraints.

5. Understand risk

Familiarize yourself with two main approaches to risk in BDSM: the “safe, sane, and consensual” (SSC) model and the “risk-aware consensual kink” (RACK) model.

SSC emphasizes predetermined safety measures, while RACK acknowledges inherent risks and empowers participants to evaluate and consent to them individually. Choose the approach that aligns with your comfort level and risk tolerance.

6. Prioritize aftercare

Engage in thorough aftercare following BDSM sessions to address physical and emotional needs. Discuss the experience with your partner, cuddle, and clean up together.

These activities help everyone wind down, process the session, and foster a sense of calm and well-being. Aftercare promotes physical wellness and emotional stability for all participants.

For more sex articles, check here.

OPINION

Here’s Why Sexual Health Education Is Important

Published

1 month ago

August 11, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Sexual Health Education: Why It Is Important | fab.ng

Sexual health education is a crucial aspect of overall well-being that often gets overlooked. It involves providing individuals with the knowledge, skills, and values needed to make informed decisions about their sexual health.

This education is vital for people of all ages. This is particularly young people, as they navigate the complexities of growing up and making choices that impact their lives.

Understanding Sexual Health

Sexual health is not just about the absence of disease or dysfunction. It is a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being concerning sexuality. People need access to accurate information, respectful treatment, and supportive environments to achieve this state.

Sexual health education helps people understand their bodies. Also, to develop healthy relationships, and make informed decisions about their sexual and reproductive lives.

Sexual health education covers a broad range of topics. These topics include anatomy, reproduction, contraception, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), consent, and healthy relationships.

It also addresses issues such as sexual orientation, gender identity, and the prevention of sexual violence. Providing comprehensive education on these topics will help individuals be better equipped to protect themselves and others.

Promoting Healthy Relationships

One of the most important aspects of sexual health education is teaching people about healthy relationships. This includes understanding the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Furthermore, recognizing the importance of mutual respect and consent, and communicating effectively with partners.

When individuals learn about healthy relationships, they are more likely to build connections based on trust, respect, and understanding. They are also better prepared to recognize and leave unhealthy or abusive relationships. This knowledge is essential for developing a positive sense of self. It can also foster a culture of respect and equality in society.

Preventing Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)

Sexual health education plays a critical role in preventing the spread of STIs. By providing accurate information about how STIs are transmitted and how they can be prevented, individuals can make informed choices about their sexual behaviour.

This includes understanding the importance of using condoms and other forms of protection, getting regular STI screenings, and seeking treatment if necessary. Without proper education, individuals may engage in risky behaviours that increase their chances of contracting STIs.

In contrast, when they are well-informed, they can take proactive steps to protect their health and the health of their partners. This not only benefits individuals but also has a positive impact on public health by reducing the overall incidence of STIs.

Empowering Individuals to Make Informed Choices

Another critical aspect of sexual health education is empowering individuals to make informed choices about their sexual and reproductive health. This includes understanding their options for contraception, knowing where to access health services, and being aware of their rights concerning sexual and reproductive health.

When individuals have the knowledge and resources to make informed decisions, they are more likely to take control of their sexual health and avoid unintended pregnancies or other negative outcomes.

This empowerment is particularly important for young people, who are often at a vulnerable stage of life and may face pressure to engage in sexual activity before they are ready.

Addressing Myths and Misconceptions

Sexual health education also plays a crucial role in addressing the myths and misconceptions that often surround sexuality. Misunderstandings about sexual health can lead to harmful behaviours and attitudes, as well as increased stigma and discrimination.

For example, many people believe that using contraception can lead to infertility or that STIs are only a concern for certain groups of people. These myths can have serious consequences if left unchallenged.

By providing accurate information and dispelling these misconceptions, sexual health education helps individuals make better choices and reduces the stigma associated with sexual health issues.

Fostering a Positive Attitude Toward Sexuality

Sexual health education is also important for fostering a positive attitude toward sexuality. It helps individuals develop a healthy understanding of their own sexuality and that of others, promoting a sense of self-respect and respect for others.

This education encourages individuals to see sexuality as a natural and positive part of life, rather than something to be ashamed of or hidden.

By promoting a positive and open attitude toward sexuality, sexual health education helps to create a society where individuals feel comfortable discussing sexual health issues and seeking the support they need.

Reducing the Risk of Sexual Violence

Sexual health education is also a key factor in reducing the risk of sexual violence. By teaching individuals about the importance of consent, respecting boundaries, and recognizing the signs of abusive behaviour, sexual health education helps to prevent sexual violence and supports survivors.

When individuals are educated about the importance of consent and how to recognize and respond to sexual violence, they are better equipped to protect themselves and others.

This education also plays a role in challenging the cultural norms and attitudes that perpetuate sexual violence. It helps to create a safer and more respectful society.

Conclusion

In conclusion, sexual health education is an essential component of overall well-being. It provides individuals with the knowledge and skills they need to make informed decisions, build healthy relationships, and protect themselves and others from harm.

By promoting a positive attitude toward sexuality and addressing the myths and misconceptions that surround it, sexual health education plays a crucial role in fostering a culture of respect, equality, and safety.

For these reasons, sexual health education must be made available to everyone, regardless of age, gender, or background.

For more articles relating to sex, visit here.