LIFESTYLE

How To Stop Thinking About Someone

Published

8 months ago

February 11, 2024

How To Stop Thinking About Someone | Fab.ng

Ever lose focus because someone has taken over your thoughts? Whether it’s a dreamy crush or a troubling ex, figuring out how to stop thinking about someone can feel impossible.

It could be joyful daydreams fueled by a romantic interest, prompting you to blast love songs and ditch responsibilities. Or maybe it’s the replay of a negative memory involving a former friend or family member, leading to nostalgic heartbreak tunes. But why can’t we seem to break free from these mental loops?

If you’re finding yourself stuck in a one-person thought spiral, read on for insights and actionable steps to help you get unstuck and back to focusing on what truly matters.

Here, we have shed light on the reasons behind this fixation and offered practical strategies to help you regain control.

1. Your brain chemically reacts to you thinking about someone

It’s not just willpower that keeps you thinking about someone obsessively. Your brain chemistry is partly to blame. A brain chemical called dopamine is the culprit. Dopamine makes you feel pleasure and crave things you desire.

So, every time you think about that person, you get a tiny dopamine reward, making you want to think about them even more. This even happens to people who aren’t in your life anymore.

Losing someone we love triggers the same brain reactions as drugs. Whether it’s a positive or negative fixation, your brain interprets it as a reward or a deprivation, fueling the obsession.

2. You feel regret when you think of how things ended

Stuck replaying a past relationship in your head? The reason might be unresolved feelings. Maybe you regret a breakup or have lingering tension with a friend. Don’t worry, there’s a way to break free.

Accepting you can’t change the past is key. Replaying events to fix them keeps you stuck. Move forward by letting go of regret and focusing on the present. Also, remember that forgiveness and acceptance, even for yourself, can be powerful tools for mental clarity.

3. Humans are social by nature

Our brains are wired for connection, so it’s natural to hold onto memories of past relationships, even if they’ve ended. However, constantly thinking about someone can get in the way of moving on.

Get clear on your future goals: who do you want to be and what do you want from life? When you have a direction, it’s easier to let go of the past and stop dwelling on old connections.

You must know that you’re not alone. Many people struggle with this, but there are strategies you can learn to regain control of your thoughts and focus on what matters most. Follow me as I outline them for you below:

How to stop thinking about someone in 8 easy steps

1. Hit the unfollow button

Craving someone in your head? Hit unfollow! Scrolling through their social media keeps that “feel-good” brain chemical dopamine flowing, making it harder to move on. Seeing them online triggers this cycle, like a mental loop that sets you back.

Be friends with the unfollow button, or even consider a temporary social media break if they pop up often in your feeds. Remember, the goal is to feel better, and sometimes that means taking control of what you see online.

2. Do something that makes you happy

Stop feeding the obsession. Seeing your “fixation” online keeps dopamine levels high, making it harder to move on. Break the cycle with healthy distractions. Laugh with friends, hit the gym, or volunteer with animals—anything to boost your mood and keep your mind present.

Staying mentally active helps too. A busy mind means less space for intrusive thoughts. So go do something fun and engaging, and watch those unwanted thoughts fade away.

3. Play a mindfulness game

Daydreaming about someone, especially a crush, can easily spiral into unproductive thoughts. But fear not! The key is catching yourself when your mind wanders and redirecting it before it goes too far. Like, if you keep thinking about “cute James,” even though he wasn’t so cute when he cheated, acknowledge the thought and gently shift your focus to the present. Use your senses.

What do you see, hear, smell, touch, or taste right now? Grounding yourself in the present breaks the “James loop.” Then, replace those unwanted thoughts with something positive. Plan your weekend, call a friend—anything to shift your mood. Remember, you control your thoughts, not the other way around.

4. Write it out

Can’t stop thinking about someone? Feeling stuck? Write it down! Journaling your thoughts and feelings can clear your head and help you understand yourself better. It can also help you figure out what you really want from relationships.

Here are some prompts to get you started:

What qualities do I admire in this person?
What emotions do I feel when I think about them?
What does this situation say about what I need in a relationship?
How can I move forward healthily?

Writing down your thoughts and reflections can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and growth. Give it a try and see what insights you uncover.

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5. Shift your perspective

Try radical acceptance. It’s about accepting things ended the way they did, even if it wasn’t ideal. Accepting what happened opens doors to learning and growth. It’s not about dwelling on “what went wrong,” which just keeps you stuck. Instead, use this as a chance to learn from your experience and move forward positively. Remember, acceptance doesn’t mean condoning what happened; it means letting go and focusing on your future.

6. Meet new people

Don’t blame yourself for a relationship that didn’t work out. Feeling good about yourself is key, and meeting new people can help boost your confidence and shift your focus. Plus, connecting with others keeps you present, preventing overthinking about the past. So be kind to yourself, explore new connections, and focus on the awesome person you are.

7. Be kind to yourself, okay?

Don’t worry if unwanted thoughts pop up even after trying everything. Getting frustrated just adds fuel to the fire. Instead, be kind to yourself. Remember, it’s normal to have lingering thoughts sometimes.

Focus on self-compassion—do things that make you feel good and loved. That could be anything from relaxing hobbies to spending time with supportive people. Taking care of yourself is key to moving forward healthily.

8. Talk to a therapist or coach

Feeling stuck despite the tips? Consider seeking professional help. Talking to friends and family is great, but a therapist offers an unbiased perspective and specific tools to help you navigate your emotions. They can guide you through this challenging time and help you move forward healthily. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support; you’re not alone.

It’s normal to have lingering thoughts, especially if things ended badly, but blaming yourself just adds to the stress. Know that compatibility plays a big role in relationships, and sometimes it just doesn’t work out.

Another common question you may ask yourself is, “Will I ever get over them?” The key is asking yourself if you even WANT to get over them. How is holding onto them serving you? You know there are countless other people out there. To truly move on, figure out what drew you to that person—connection, intimacy, or something else? Once you understand your needs, you can start looking for those good qualities in others and open yourself up to new possibilities.

So, be kind to yourself, accept what was, and focus on finding someone who truly fits your needs. There’s someone out there for everyone, and focusing on your own happiness is the first step to finding them!

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FOOD

How Cultural Influences Affect Our Food Choices & Habits

Published

1 day ago

October 13, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Cultural Influences On Food Choices & Habits | fab.ng

Parents strive to instil strong cultural connections in their children, passing down cherished customs and rituals that have endured through generations. However, cultural influences on food choices often pose a complex challenge. Traditional diets, shaped by these cultural influences on food practices, may sometimes conflict with modern nutritional understanding and health recommendations.

Families must carefully examine how cultural influences on food habits impact their children’s dietary choices and overall well-being. Many traditional dishes, while rich in cultural significance, may contain excessive amounts of sugar, unhealthy fats, or refined carbohydrates.

These ingredients, deeply embedded in cultural recipes and cooking methods, can contribute to health issues such as childhood obesity, diabetes, and poor nutrition.

We can take proactive steps to preserve our cultural heritage while promoting healthier eating habits:

1. Modify traditional recipes to include more wholesome ingredients
2. Teach children the history behind cultural dishes while introducing balanced alternatives
3. Create new family traditions that celebrate both cultural identity and nutritional wellness
4. Engage children in conversations about the evolution of cultural food practices

By thoughtfully adapting our approach to cultural food traditions, we can nurture both our children’s cultural identity and their physical health, ensuring that the legacy we pass down enriches their lives in every way.

What are cultural influences?

Cultural influences are the historical, geographical, and familial factors that shape how we assess and intervene in various situations. These influences can significantly impact our perspectives, beliefs, and behaviours, ultimately affecting our decision-making processes.

What are food habits?

Food habits are more than just what you eat. They include what you eat, who you eat with, why you eat, when you eat, and how you get, store, and dispose of food. Your environment affects your food habits.

The availability and affordability of convenience foods have changed modern food habits. More parents working, rising costs of fresh food, and longer shelf life of convenience foods have shifted how we buy and eat food globally.

What is an example of a cultural influence on food choices?

For Hindus, the cow is a sacred animal. As a result, beef is not considered food in Hindu culture. Similarly, Jewish religious laws prohibit the consumption of pork and shellfish. These examples demonstrate how cultural influences affect food choices.

How Cultural Influences Affect Our Food Habits

Cultural influences on food shape what we eat, why we eat it, and who we eat with – all significant factors in our dietary habits.

As social creatures, humans have made food the centrepiece of many cultural traditions. These cultural influences on food manifest in celebrations, worship, and acknowledgements of success. Food brings people together effectively, and many cultures have transformed it into a symbol of:

Love
Affection
Prosperity
Unity

Cultural influences on food often lead many societies to equate love with the quantity of food provided. This frequently results in hosts preparing meals for far more people than actually attend. While many cultures offer nutritious food, the sheer volume served and consumed can become problematic.

One of the most challenging cultural influences on food emerges in social dining situations. People often feel pressure to eat more than they desire or typically would. Silent social expectations drive individuals to continue eating or accept food despite feeling full.

Many believe that declining food or leaving plates unfinished shows disrespect. This can lead to overconsumption as diners attempt to demonstrate respect and love to their companions.

Why does it matter?

Children learn from adults. When they see us overeat, they assume it’s normal and follow suit. Over time, this unspoken cultural practice of overeating can develop.

What can we do about it?

While culture is deeply ingrained, it can change. We can redevelop our culture and its influence on our children’s food habits. Setting food-related boundaries and learning to say “no” are crucial for developing healthier food habits.

Are you comfortable with:

Declining more food when you’re full?
Cooking just enough food?
Denying your child a snack before a meal?

Practising mindfulness and learning to say “no” are key to creating a healthier and more sustainable eating culture. This takes practice. The more we practice setting food boundaries, the better we’ll become over time.

How does culture affect food?

Culture significantly shapes food, making it a crucial part of intangible cultural heritage. Through cultural influences on food, traditional recipes, cooking techniques, and dining etiquette are passed down from generation to generation.

These practices not only reflect the values and beliefs of different communities but also serve as vital components of their cultural identity. As a result, food becomes more than just sustenance; it becomes a way of life deeply embedded in cultural heritage.

How do cultural factors shape food choices?

From childhood, cultural influences on food begin to shape our dietary habits. We develop cultural values around what to eat, how to eat, which utensils to use, who we eat with, and how often meals should be taken.

Over time, these values solidify into habits, especially because they are introduced at key developmental stages. As we grow, these food-related habits become stronger, reflecting the lasting impact of culture on our daily food choices.

What are the two components of cultural food influences?

Cultural influences on food can be divided into two main components. First, different cuisines often symbolize cultural identity, with shared meals fostering social bonds and preserving traditions.

Second, the availability of specific ingredients and cooking methods is shaped by the environment, further adding to the uniqueness of culinary traditions within a culture.

SEX

How Societal Expectations Affect Sexual Relationships

Published

1 day ago

October 13, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

How Societal Expectations Affect Sexual Relationships | fab.ng

Societal expectations play a significant role in shaping our understanding of sexual relationships. These expectations can come from various sources, including cultural norms, religious beliefs, media portrayals, and personal experiences.

While some expectations can be positive and promote healthy relationships, others can be harmful and negatively impact sexual experiences.

Cultural Norms and Expectations

Cultural norms and expectations can vary widely across different societies and communities. These norms can influence everything from when people are expected to have sex to the types of sexual relationships that are considered acceptable. For example, in some cultures, premarital sex is frowned upon, while in others, it is a normal part of life.

Cultural expectations can also affect gender roles and sexual expectations. In some cultures, men are expected to be assertive and dominant in sexual encounters, while women are expected to be passive and submissive. These stereotypes can create unrealistic expectations and lead to dissatisfaction in relationships.

Religious Beliefs and Expectations

Religious beliefs can also shape societal expectations about sexual relationships. Some religions have strict guidelines about sexual behaviour, such as prohibiting premarital sex or limiting the number of sexual partners.

These beliefs can influence individual attitudes towards sex and relationships, as well as the types of sexual relationships that are considered acceptable within a particular religious community.

Media Portrayals and Expectations

Television shows, movies, and advertisements often portray unrealistic and idealized images of sex and sexuality. These portrayals can create unrealistic expectations and lead to dissatisfaction with one’s own sexual experiences.

For example, many media portrayals of sex emphasize physical attractiveness and sexual performance. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and shame for individuals who do not meet these idealized standards.

Additionally, media portrayals of sex often focus on heterosexual relationships, which can exclude and marginalize individuals who identify as LGBTQ+.

Personal Experiences and Expectations

Personal experiences can also shape our expectations about sex and relationships. Our own experiences with sex and relationships, as well as the experiences of others we know, can influence our beliefs about what is normal and acceptable.

For example, individuals who have had negative sexual experiences may develop negative attitudes towards sex and relationships. Conversely, individuals who have had positive sexual experiences may be more open and accepting of different types of sexual relationships.

The Impact of Societal Expectations on Sexual Relationships

Societal expectations can greatly impact sexual relationships in several ways. Some of the potential negative consequences of unrealistic expectations include:

Dissatisfaction and unhappiness: When individuals do not meet societal expectations, they may feel dissatisfied and unhappy with their sexual experiences.
Shame and guilt: Individuals who violate societal expectations may experience feelings of shame and guilt.
Relationship problems: Unrealistic expectations can lead to communication problems and conflict in relationships.
Sexual dysfunction: Unrealistic expectations can contribute to sexual dysfunction, such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.

Promoting Healthy Sexual Relationships

To promote healthy sexual relationships, it is important to challenge and question societal expectations. We should strive to create a culture that is accepting and inclusive of all types of sexual relationships.

Here are some tips for promoting healthy sexual relationships:

Educate yourself about sex and sexuality.
Communicate openly and honestly with your partner.
Respect your partner’s boundaries.
Seek professional help if needed.

How do societal expectations affect sexual relationships?

Cultural norms can influence everything from when people are expected to have sex to the types of sexual relationships that are considered acceptable. These norms can vary widely across different societies and communities.

What is the role of media in shaping societal expectations about sexual relationships?

The media plays a significant role in shaping our understanding of sex and relationships. Television shows, movies, and advertisements often portray unrealistic and idealized images of sex and sexuality. These portrayals can create unrealistic expectations and lead to dissatisfaction with one’s own sexual experiences.

How can societal expectations negatively impact sexual relationships?

Unrealistic expectations can lead to dissatisfaction, shame, relationship problems, and sexual dysfunction.

If you would like to read more articles related to sex, visit here.

OPINION

7 Relationship Conversation You Must Have With Your Partner

Published

1 day ago

October 13, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Relationship conversation topics to have with your partner | fab.ng

What is a relationship conversation?

How partners share their emotions directly shapes their intimacy and future relationship patterns. This emotional exchange helps them form a meaningful bond.

Relationship conversations involve open communication on various subjects that lay the foundation for growth. Couples can intentionally build a deeper, more intimate connection through these relationship conversation topics. Ultimately, discussing these topics is key to creating a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Are conversation topics important in a relationship?

In a relationship, communication builds a stronger and better connection. Yes, conversations matter. Listed below are the benefits of communication between partners:

It strengthens the relationship.
It clarifies doubts, leaving no room for guesses and assumptions.
It eliminates misunderstandings.
It allows partners to be supportive and understanding of each other.
It sets boundaries and expectations.
It builds a deeper understanding.

When should you have a relationship conversation?

Relationship conversation topics can change depending on the stage of the relationship you’re in with your partner. The depth of these conversations often reflects how far along you are in the relationship.

When you’re in the dating phase, research suggests having the “What Are We” talk or discussing the possibility of a relationship within 3 to 6 months of dating. This timeframe allows both individuals to assess if they want to continue the relationship or part ways.

If you’re already in a committed relationship and need to discuss more serious matters, like finances or family planning, it’s important to ensure both partners are calm before starting the conversation. This approach helps make relationship conversation topics productive and respectful, allowing both parties to engage meaningfully.

Relationship conversation topics to have with your partner | fab.ng

7 relationship conversation topics you can have with your partner

Looking for meaningful relationship conversation topics to discuss with your partner? Here are some engaging ideas that can spark deeper connections.

When talking with your significant other, one important tip is to avoid small talk. Whether it’s a first date, you’re already in a committed relationship, or planning to marry soon—ditch the small talk. Seriously, don’t do it. Period.

Instead, dive into conversations that ignite your passion. Discuss your career goals, dreams, and aspirations. Talk about your hobbies and interests. These topics keep the conversation exciting and engaging, allowing you to connect on a deeper level.

Ask creative, open-ended questions that can spark your partner’s excitement. Don’t stress too much about what to ask—just be genuine. Show your real, authentic self, and let your partner see you in your rawest form.

Engaging in meaningful conversations helps set expectations as your relationship progresses. The deeper you dive into these topics, the more your bond grows.

Here are some thought-provoking questions to foster engagement between you and your partner:

Who are the top five people you’d call immediately if you were in trouble?
What personal flaw could you turn into one of your greatest strengths?
What are you truly passionate about?
What question have you always wanted an answer to?
How far do you agree that individuals in a relationship should maintain their own identities instead of one becoming a shadow of the other?

This list of questions can go on endlessly. The more you ask, the more you’ll learn about your partner, keeping the interest alive if you both share similar values and goals.

Ultimately, all you need is a little creativity. Be open, expressive, and real. Show your true self, and let the conversation flow naturally.

1. Crystal clear discussions about your past

Talk openly about your past. Relationships require commitment and loyalty. It’s not something you wake up one day and suddenly want to end. Be thoughtful and selective when choosing a partner.

Before acting on emotions or impulses, take time to discuss each other’s past. If any experiences or feelings are invalidated, it may be a signal to reassess the relationship. Keep the conversation honest and clear.

2. Talk about future goals

It’s fine to delay future planning for a while, as it can feel overwhelming. However, don’t avoid discussing it altogether.

Instead of jumping to conclusions or arguing, work on reconciling any differences. It’s important to know what type of relationship your partner wants.

Importantly, talk about future goals. If your differences seem irreconcilable, it may be time to rethink the relationship.

3. Family planning

Discuss whether you want children and how you envision raising a family. These are important questions to bring up with your partner.

Your significant other might not believe in marriage or may not want kids right now. It’s essential to be clear about these decisions early on.

4. Discuss trauma and hurtful experiences

Have heart-to-heart conversations about past trauma, such as exes, betrayals, or family issues. Share the experiences that have deeply affected you.

Your partner should understand and accept the person you’ve become, shaped by these intense experiences.

5. Money

Financial problems are a major cause of divorce. Issues like differing attitudes toward money, debts, and a lack of financial goals can strain a relationship.

You must take finances seriously in your conversations. Don’t brush them aside. Discuss money matters often and set financial goals together.

6. Intimacy

Though it can feel difficult to start these conversations, they should come naturally if you prioritize your personal life.

When discussing intimacy, explore each other’s love languages, favourite memories, and preferences. These talks can strengthen your bond. You must also discuss your sexual expectations at this point.

7. Values

You and your partner were raised differently, so it’s natural to have different values. To deepen your connection, ask meaningful questions to better understand each other:

What are you most selfish about?
What do you worry about the most?
What motivates you professionally?
What’s more important: forgiveness or acceptance?

How to keep conversations lively

For meaningful relationship conversations, communication should feel free-flowing and fresh. To avoid a boring routine, here are tips for keeping conversations engaging:

Open-ended questions

Ask open-ended questions instead of simple Yes-No ones. This sparks deeper conversations. Questions like “What was the best part of your day?” or “What should we plan for the weekend?” can keep the discussion going.

Talk about positive and negative things

Share not only the good things but also what you dislike. Express your views honestly, and your partner will likely share theirs too.

Spend digital-free time

When you want real conversations, put your phones and laptops aside. These devices can distract you and keep you from connecting fully.

Listen

Good conversations are not just about expressing yourself but also about listening to your partner. Pay attention when they need someone to hear them out.

Listening skills

Avoid making assumptions about your partner. This leads to misunderstandings. Instead, ask questions to keep the conversation flowing and positive.

Final Thoughts

In reality, there’s no magical solution or perfect conversation that can guarantee a lasting relationship if both partners don’t accept their differences. Be patient and avoid letting strong emotions cloud your judgment.

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