It’s understandable to have some preconceived notions about fertility and conception, given the prevalence of myths and superstitions in this area. However, it’s important to recognize that our knowledge may not always be as comprehensive as we think.

Many common myths about fertility are actually based on old wives’ tales or unfounded cultural traditions, rather than scientific evidence. These misconceptions can lead to unnecessary anxiety or the adoption of ineffective practices when trying to conceive.

It’s crucial to have a deeper understanding of the actual biological processes and factors that influence fertility. This knowledge can help individuals and couples make informed decisions and seek appropriate medical advice when needed. Relying solely on hearsay or unsubstantiated myths can hinder the path to fertility and maintaining a healthy pregnancy.

By approaching the topic of fertility with an open and curious mindset, we can better separate fact from the myths. Seeking information from reliable, evidence-based sources can empower us to make well-informed choices and navigate the often complex journey of conception.

Understanding the realities of fertility can lead to more realistic expectations and a greater sense of control during this significant life experience.

What are some fertility myths that should be debunked?

1. Swallowing semen gives you a fertility boost.

False: The only way sperm aids fertility is when it’s inside the vaginal canal or fallopian tubes, making its way toward the egg. While semen does contain some protein, there are far more efficient and nutritious ways to meet your daily requirements than through oral sex.

Rest assured, engaging in oral sex, masturbation, or anything else that results in ejaculation won’t negatively affect a man’s sperm count. In fact, these activities are healthy during the conception process. For more on this topic, see myth number 17.

2. Having sex in the morning gives you a fertility boost.

False: The belief that a man produces more sperm overnight, making morning sex more effective for conception, is largely unfounded. While some studies suggest sperm count may be slightly higher in the morning, the difference is negligible.

It only takes one sperm to fertilize an egg, and sperm counts generally range between 75 to 76 million. The most important factor is having intercourse during the fertile window, regardless of the time of day.

3. You should have sex every day to boost your fertility.

False: Conception can only occur during the 5-6 days of a woman’s fertile window, meaning the rest of the month is infertile. While having intercourse multiple times during the fertile window can increase your chances, having sex outside of this period won’t impact fertility.

If you’re in the mood for sex at other times, go for it—it can still help you bond with your partner, even if it doesn’t directly contribute to making a baby.

4. Hang upside down for 20 minutes after sex to help sperm reach your egg.

False: Sperm are highly efficient swimmers, chemically programmed to reach the egg without assistance. There’s no need to rely on gravity or awkward positions, such as raising your legs or doing a handstand, to help the sperm reach their destination.

Research hasn’t shown any benefit from these methods, and they’re likely to cause more discomfort than help in your journey to conceive.

5. Women in their twenties don’t have fertility issues.

False: Although fertility does decline with age, women in their twenties can still experience fertility problems. Many young women struggle with conditions like polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), endometriosis, fibroids, or other fertility-related issues.

Lifestyle factors such as weight, medications, and athletic training also play a role. Fertility issues aren’t limited to age, so it’s important to be sensitive to this reality.

6. Masturbation lowers a man’s fertility.

False: The idea that frequent masturbation drains a man’s sperm supply and reduces fertility is a long-standing myth. In reality, regular masturbation can help keep the male reproductive system functioning efficiently.

It removes older sperm and replaces them with newer, more viable sperm that may have better motility. This actually benefits fertility rather than harming it.

7. The size of a man’s penis or testicles affects how fertile he is.

False: This myth likely stems from societal pressures that equate larger genitalia with virility, masculinity, and fertility. However, penis size has no bearing on a man’s ability to conceive.

As long as he is healthy and can ejaculate, size doesn’t matter. Fertility depends on sperm quality, not physical attributes like penis size.

8. You can “sync” with other women’s cycles and get your period when they do, hurting your chance of getting pregnant.

False: The concept of menstrual synchrony, where women who spend a lot of time together get their periods at the same time, gained popularity after a 1971 study. However, more recent research has failed to support this theory.

Periods may overlap by chance, but there’s no need to worry that syncing cycles with other women will affect your ability to conceive.

9. You can conceive a boy or a girl by doing certain things.

False: There are numerous myths surrounding how to influence the sex of your baby, such as placing a wooden spoon and scissors under your bed for a girl or keeping your partner’s testicles warm for a boy. Others suggest that timing intercourse early in the fertile window leads to conceiving a boy, while later increases the chances for a girl.

Despite the many variations of these myths, none of them are backed by scientific evidence. Even popular methods like the Shettles and Whelan strategies contradict each other. Focus on conceiving a healthy baby, and the sex will reveal itself in time.

10. You need to have an orgasm to conceive.

False: While orgasms may help sperm reach the egg through uterine contractions, they’re not required for conception. If orgasms were essential for pregnancy, infertility rates would be significantly higher, given that many women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone.

11. Orgasms cause women to release eggs.

False: Ovulation is driven by the gradual buildup of estrogen over several days and isn’t triggered by orgasms. While orgasms release oxytocin, which can cause uterine contractions that may help pull sperm towards the egg, they do not influence the actual release of an egg.

12. You’ll have twins if you eat yams.

Unconfirmed, but probably false: This myth originated when researchers observed that twin births were four times more common in West Africa than in the rest of the world.

To find the cause, they examined the local diet, which consisted mainly of cassava plants, a type of yam. However, there has never been a conclusive link between a diet rich in yams and an increased chance of conceiving twins.

Given that yams are starchy and low in nutritional value, adopting a yam-based diet with the hope of having multiples isn’t recommended.

13. You can get pregnant during your period.

False, with a caveat: While it’s technically impossible to conceive during your period, sperm can survive in the vaginal tract for up to five days.

If you have sex towards the end of your period and ovulate shortly after, there’s a small chance of pregnancy. While it’s rare, the possibility exists due to sperm longevity.

14. Missionary position is the only way you can get pregnant.

False: This myth is likely related to misconceptions about gravity’s role in sperm movement. In reality, you can conceive in any position, including woman-on-top.

There’s no evidence that any one position is more effective than another when it comes to conception. Choose whatever position feels best for you.

15. Infertility is always the woman’s fault…or the man’s fault.

False: The causes of infertility are evenly divided between men and women. In about 40% of cases, infertility is due to issues with the woman, while another 40% are due to male factors.

The remaining 20% are unexplained. If you’re struggling to conceive, don’t rush to assign blame. Seeing a fertility specialist is the best way to determine the cause.

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What is sexual dissatisfaction?

Is it normal to be sexually unsatisfied?

What happens when you are sexually unsatisfied?

How to Overcome Sexual Dissatisfaction in a Relationship

Not being sexually satisfied in a relationship can lead to its decline. So, how can you ensure sexual satisfaction in your relationship? Here are 5 ways to overcome sexual dissatisfaction and reignite the passion.

1. Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling.

Wondering how to tell your partner that you’re not sexually satisfied? Start by being open and honest about your feelings. Approach the conversation calmly and share your thoughts, allowing your partner to offer suggestions or ideas on how you can both improve your intimacy.

If you’re uncomfortable discussing this with your partner or feel unwanted sexually, confide in a trusted friend. They may be able to offer valuable insights and help you understand what might be going wrong. If you just need to vent, having someone listen could also relieve some of the stress you’re feeling.

2. Try some sex toys together.

Introducing sex toys into your relationship can be a great way to enhance your sex life. They add variety and excitement, helping you and your partner rediscover intimacy in new ways.

With so many options available, you’re bound to find something that suits your preferences. Explore different types together and see what works best before making a decision.

3. Schedule a date night with your partner.

Spending quality time together outside of daily routines can help rekindle the romance. Plan a date night or even a weekend getaway to reconnect and strengthen your bond.

Whether it’s a simple day at the movies or a romantic dinner, taking time to enjoy each other’s company can reignite the emotional and physical connection between you.

Experimenting with new positions, taking turns in pleasuring one another, or trying light bondage can also bring back the fun in your sexual relationship.

If you enjoy keeping things adventurous, consider adding a bit of BDSM play to your lovemaking. You may be pleasantly surprised by how it can reignite passion. If you’re looking for sex ideas, here are 8 kinky tricks to try.

5. Practice self-care.

Self-care is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being allows you to better support your partner. Focus on eating well, getting enough sleep, and finding ways to relax at the end of each day.

Stress from a lack of fulfilment in your relationship can contribute to issues like erectile dysfunction, so it’s important to make a conscious effort to keep stress levels down as much as possible.

How to make your sex life better in your relationship

Do you often find yourself thinking, “I’m sexually unsatisfied in my relationship?”

A healthy sex life is crucial for keeping partners connected. Here are some common sexual issues in marriage and specific solutions to help improve your sex life:

Communication

Why is communication so important? It’s because the strength of a relationship largely depends on it.

The impact of communication on a relationship cannot be overstated. It helps partners feel loved, cared for, and understood, which is essential when it comes to making love. If one partner doesn’t feel valued or cherished, they won’t be eager to engage in a satisfying sexual connection.

A loving, healthy relationship naturally leads to a fulfilling sex life. On the other hand, when sex feels like an obligation rather than an act of love, it leads to sexual dissatisfaction. Over time, this can create feelings of resentment toward your partner.

Solution

If you struggle with communication but want to improve, start small. Spend time together doing simple things, like watching a movie and discussing it afterwards. Share details about your day or involve your spouse in light, everyday conversations.

As this becomes a habit, you’ll find it easier to talk about deeper issues. This open communication will make your partner feel valued and loved, resulting in more meaningful and affectionate intimacy rather than sex that feels obligatory.

Busy schedule

Balancing work, home responsibilities, and children can be exhausting, leaving little energy for intimacy. Stress and tension from daily life often have a direct impact on sex drive. When the demands of life weigh heavily, the first thing to suffer is usually the sexual connection between partners.

Sex isn’t just a mechanical act; it’s the meeting of desires and passions. But it’s hard to feel passion when stress and fatigue are constantly in the background.

After a long day of cooking, cleaning, caring for children, and maintaining the household, sex may feel more like another task than a source of relaxation.

Solution

Reduce the burden by organizing and prioritizing your tasks. Don’t feel pressured to accomplish everything in a single day. By prioritizing what’s truly important, you’ll realize that some tasks can wait until tomorrow.

Reducing your workload will help you relax and create more space for intimacy. While keeping a tidy home is important, nurturing your sex life should take priority as well.

No spark

For couples who have been married for a long time, the spark can sometimes fade, and sex begins to feel more like a routine chore.

When there’s no passion or excitement, sex can lose its appeal and become something you do just because it’s expected. This lack of spark is a common issue in long-term marriages and can lead to frustration.

You need that sense of excitement, where both partners feel fully satisfied and connected. When sex becomes mundane, it’s easy to put it off, leading to a cycle of “let’s do it tomorrow”—but tomorrow might never come.

Solution

All you need is a bit of effort to reignite that spark. Try something new—whether it’s dressing up, playing sensual music, or lighting scented candles to set the mood.

Scented candles can create a romantic atmosphere and add an element of surprise that will captivate your partner. This change can make your sexual encounters more passionate and sensual than before. The thrill of doing something different will heighten your desires.

Another great way to bring back the excitement is by experimenting with different positions. This requires both communication and participation from both partners, but it leads to a more engaging and enjoyable experience—often with some laughs along the way.

In the end…

Sex is not a task or chore to be checked off just because you’re married. It’s a beautiful experience that, when done right, leads to deep satisfaction.

If you’re in an unsatisfying relationship, don’t let sexual dissatisfaction cause your marriage to unravel. Take charge and reignite the magic.

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Sexual dysfunction can affect anyone, both men and women, and it can happen in different ways. To better define sexual dysfunction, it refers to any problem that prevents an individual from experiencing satisfaction during sexual activity.

While common, it can create emotional stress, strain relationships, and lower self-esteem. Understanding how to deal with sexual dysfunction involves identifying the problem, seeking appropriate treatment, and finding support to improve your sexual health and overall well-being.

What Is Sexual Dysfunction?

You would agree with me that sexual dysfunction refers to a range of issues that interfere with normal sexual function. These problems can occur at any stage of the sexual response cycle. It includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution.

Sexual dysfunction affects both physical and emotional health. It may be temporary or long-lasting, depending on its cause and treatment.

The key to overcoming sexual dysfunction is to understand its underlying causes, which can be physical, psychological, or a combination of both. Treatment options vary but often involve medical interventions, lifestyle changes, and therapy.

Sexual Dysfunction in Men

Men experience a range of sexual dysfunctions that can affect their ability to engage in or enjoy sexual activity. The most common types include erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, and low libido.

1. Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse. It is one of the most common sexual dysfunctions in men.

ED can result from physical causes, such as heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, or obesity. Psychological factors, including stress, anxiety, or depression, can also contribute to ED.

How to deal with it:

• See a doctor for a thorough physical exam and discuss your symptoms.
• Medications like Viagra or Cialis can help improve blood flow to the penis
• Address any psychological issues through counseling or therapy.
• Lifestyle changes like exercising, quitting smoking, and reducing alcohol intake can also improve erectile function.

2. Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation (PE) occurs when a man ejaculates sooner than he or his partner would like during sexual activity. PE can be frustrating and lead to feelings of embarrassment or inadequacy.

It is often caused by psychological factors such as anxiety, stress, or performance pressure, though physical factors can also play a role.

How to deal with it:

• Try behavioural techniques such as the “stop-start” method to delay ejaculation.
• Consider using desensitizing creams or sprays to reduce penile sensitivity.
• In some cases, antidepressants prescribed by a doctor can help delay ejaculation.
• Therapy or counseling may help address the emotional causes of PE.

3. Delayed Ejaculation

Delayed ejaculation is the opposite of premature ejaculation. It occurs when a man has difficulty or cannot ejaculate during sexual activity, even when fully aroused. This condition can be caused by certain medications, chronic health issues, or psychological factors.

How to deal with it:

• Review any medications you are taking with your doctor, as they may be contributing to the problem.
• Therapy can be useful in addressing psychological issues such as anxiety or relationship problems.
• Physical exercises or pelvic floor therapy can sometimes help improve ejaculation.

4. Low Libido

Low libido, or reduced interest in sexual activity, can affect men at any age. It can be caused by hormonal imbalances, chronic illness, fatigue, stress, or emotional problems. Low testosterone levels are often linked to low libido in men.

How to deal with it:

• Have your hormone levels checked by a doctor. Testosterone replacement therapy might be an option.
• Make time for relaxation and manage stress to improve your overall mood.
• Speak openly with your partner about your needs and feelings to reduce emotional barriers.
• Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and adequate sleep can also help boost libido.

Sexual Dysfunction in Women

Women also experience various forms of sexual dysfunction, which can affect their ability to enjoy or engage in sexual activity. Common dysfunctions include low desire, difficulty with arousal, pain during intercourse, and inability to reach orgasm.

1. Low Sexual Desire

Low sexual desire, or hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), is one of the most common sexual dysfunctions in women.

It involves a lack of interest in sex, which can be distressing for both the individual and their partner. Causes include hormonal changes, stress, emotional trauma, or relationship issues.

How to deal with it:

• Consult a doctor to rule out any underlying medical conditions such as hormonal imbalances.
• Therapy or counseling can help address emotional or psychological factors.
• Mindfulness techniques or sex therapy can improve sexual desire and overall sexual health.
• Medications such as flibanserin may help increase sexual desire in some women.

2. Difficulty with Arousal

Arousal disorders occur when a woman has trouble becoming physically aroused or maintaining arousal during sexual activity.

This can be caused by poor blood flow to the genitals, hormonal shifts (such as menopause), or psychological issues like stress or body image concerns.

How to deal with it:

• Use lubricants to reduce discomfort and improve physical arousal.
• Hormone therapy may be an option, especially for women going through menopause.
• Counseling or therapy can help resolve emotional or psychological barriers to arousal.
• Engage in more extended foreplay to allow time for arousal to build.

3. Pain During Intercourse (Dyspareunia)

Painful intercourse, known as dyspareunia, can make sexual activity uncomfortable or unbearable. This condition may be caused by vaginal dryness, infections, endometriosis, or trauma. Both physical and emotional factors can contribute to dyspareunia.

How to deal with it:

• Visit a gynaecologist to determine the cause of the pain and receive appropriate treatment.
• Use lubricants to alleviate vaginal dryness and reduce friction during intercourse.
• Pelvic floor therapy can help strengthen muscles and improve comfort during sex.
• Therapy can address emotional factors, such as anxiety or trauma, that may be contributing to the pain.

4. Inability to Reach Orgasm (Anorgasmia)

Anorgasmia refers to the difficulty or inability to achieve orgasm during sexual activity, even with adequate arousal and stimulation. This condition can stem from a variety of causes, including psychological issues, medications, or lack of proper stimulation.

How to deal with it:

• Discuss the issue with a healthcare provider to rule out any medical or medication-related causes.
• Experiment with different forms of stimulation or positions to increase your chances of achieving orgasm.
• Therapy can be beneficial for addressing psychological barriers such as anxiety, shame, or past trauma.
• Couples counselling or sex therapy can also help improve communication and intimacy in your relationship.

General Tips for Dealing with Sexual Dysfunction

Regardless of gender, dealing with sexual dysfunction requires patience, communication, and proactive treatment. Here are some general tips for managing sexual dysfunction:

1. Communicate Openly: Talk with your partner about your concerns, needs, and expectations. Open communication helps reduce anxiety and fosters understanding.

2. Seek Professional Help: A healthcare provider can identify the root causes of sexual dysfunction and recommend treatment options such as medications, therapy, or lifestyle changes.

3. Manage Stress: High-stress levels can negatively impact sexual function. Practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to help manage stress.

4. Stay Physically Active: Regular exercise improves blood circulation, boosts energy levels, and enhances mood, all of which contribute to better sexual health.

5. Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle: Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and limiting alcohol and tobacco use can improve overall sexual function.

6. Consider Therapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), sex therapy, or couples counseling can help address emotional or psychological factors contributing to sexual dysfunction.

Sexual dysfunction can be a challenging and emotional issue for both men and women. However, it’s important to remember that these problems are treatable.

When you understand the specific dysfunction, seek appropriate medical or psychological help, and maintain open communication with your partner. With that, you can work towards improving your sexual health and overall well-being.

Also note that with the right support and treatment, it’s possible to overcome sexual dysfunction and restore intimacy in your relationships.

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