OPINION
Is Sexual Purity Till Marriage Possible?
Published
3 months agoon
In Nigeria, young adults are buzzing about “sexual purity,” or waiting until marriage to have sex. This hot topic goes beyond religion into personal choices, societal expectations, and even the feasibility of such a commitment in modern times.
First things first: can you really wait until marriage? Absolutely, but it’s an uphill climb. Choosing to abstain is a deeply personal decision, often influenced by a mix of factors like religious beliefs, cultural values, personal convictions, and even societal pressures.
In a nation like Nigeria, where different cultures and religions coexist, these elements play a massive role in shaping attitudes towards sexual purity. For some, religion acts as the guiding force, emphasising abstinence as a core tenet of their faith. Others find the concept interwoven with their cultural values, where families and communities view premarital sex as taboo.
Personal convictions also come into play, with individuals drawing strength from their own beliefs about relationships, intimacy, and responsibility. Finally, societal pressures can’t be ignored, with some communities praising abstinence while others might view it with scepticism or judgment.
Navigating this complex landscape can be overwhelming for young Nigerians. They grapple with reconciling their personal desires with societal expectations, often feeling judged or pressured to conform. Open conversations about sexual purity, free from judgement and shame, are crucial in this space.
Understanding the diverse perspectives within Nigerian society, from religious beliefs to cultural norms, is key to fostering informed choices and empowering young adults to make decisions that align with their values and well-being.
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to sexual purity. Whether someone chooses to wait or not, creating a safe and supportive environment for open dialogue and informed decision-making is essential for young Nigerians navigating this complex terrain.
Religious and cultural influences
In Nigeria, many religions like Christianity and Islam teach waiting until marriage for sex. This faith-based belief gives a strong reason for some people to stay sexually pure, showing respect for their religion.
Culture also plays a big role. In many Nigerian communities, especially for women, staying a virgin is seen as very important and brings honour to the family.
But things are changing! Western culture, social media, and open discussions about sex are challenging these traditional views. Young Nigerians are exposed to more ideas about sex and relationships, making them wonder if waiting until marriage still makes sense today.
Benefits and arguments for sexual purity
The case for sexual purity is frequently based on perceived benefits, such as the avoidance of sexually transmitted illnesses, undesired pregnancies, and the emotional complications that might come with sexual relationships.
Proponents of sexual purity claim that waiting until marriage allows for more meaningful and rewarding sexual experiences within the context of a committed partnership.
Critics claim that the emphasis on sexual purity can lead to guilt and humiliation over natural sexual cravings, false expectations about sex in marriage, and insufficient sexual education. There is also the idea that what occurs between consenting people should be exempt from moral regulation.
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A personal choice
Deciding whether to wait until marriage for sex is a sensitive choice and just like choosing your favourite flavour of ice cream, it should be personal and satisfying. As a young Nigerian adult, you’re bombarded with different opinions and expectations, but ultimately, this decision rests on your values and beliefs.
Take some time to explore what truly matters to you. Do religious teachings strongly influence your choices? Are cultural expectations a major factor? Or perhaps you have personal convictions and aspirations that guide your path. Whatever your reasons, understanding the “why” behind your decision empowers you to make it with confidence.
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some believe waiting fosters meaningful sex within a committed marriage, while others prioritise exploration and self-discovery through experiences before settling down. Ultimately, it’s about aligning your choice with your values and ensuring it contributes to your overall well-being.
Importantly, respect plays a crucial role. As you navigate this decision, remember that everyone deserves respect, regardless of their chosen path. Whether you align with traditional views of sexual purity or forge your own unique journey, respect for yourself and others fosters an environment of understanding and empathy.
So, don’t rush this decision. Carefully consider your values, explore different perspectives, and remember, ultimately, the choice is yours. Choose what feels right for you, and remember that respect is the key ingredient in this personal journey.
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Feeling burnt out and overwhelmed at work? Taking work leave or using your sick days might seem counterintuitive, but it’s crucial for your long-term success. When you’re constantly stressed and stretched thin, your mental and physical health suffers. Taking a break allows you to de-stress, recharge, and return to work feeling refreshed and energised.
This renewed sense of well-being translates into improved focus, creativity, and overall job satisfaction, which are all essential for professional success.
Here are several reasons why every worker should take advantage of their work leave entitlements:
1. Restoration of mental health
Imagine pushing yourself through a marathon without ever stopping to rest or refuel. That’s what happens mentally when you constantly work long hours without breaks. The pressure builds, leading to stress and burnout.
Taking time off is like hitting the pause button. It allows you to de-stress by doing things you enjoy, reducing that built-up tension. When you return to work, you’ll feel refreshed and energised, with a clearer mind ready to tackle any challenge. It’s like rebooting your brain for better performance.
2. Regaining physical health
Our bodies weren’t designed to be chained to a desk all day. Staring at a screen and hunching over a keyboard for hours on end can wreak havoc on your physical health. Your back, neck, and shoulders become strained from holding the same position, while repetitive tasks can lead to muscle fatigue and injuries.
Leave is your chance to break free from this cycle. Use your time off to get your body moving! Whether it’s hitting the gym for a workout, going for a hike in nature, or simply taking a long walk outside, any form of physical activity helps counteract the toll work takes on your body. Think of it as preventive maintenance. By giving your body a chance to rest and recuperate, you’ll not only feel better physically now, but you’ll also be preventing future aches, pains, and even more serious health problems down the road. Taking leave isn’t just about feeling good today; it’s an investment in your long-term physical well-being.
3. Increased productivity
Forget the myth that working longer hours automatically means getting more done. In fact, the opposite can be true. Taking regular breaks, like vacations and other types of leave, can actually boost your productivity when you’re back at work. Here’s why:
- Recharged focus and energy: Imagine staring at a computer screen all day, every day. It’s draining! Taking time off lets you recharge your mental batteries. When you return, you’ll have a sharper focus and more energy, allowing you to tackle tasks more efficiently.
- Less stress, better decisions: Feeling constantly stressed and overwhelmed can cloud your judgement. Taking a break helps you de-stress, which leads to clearer thinking and better decision-making. You’ll be able to approach problems with a fresh perspective and come up with creative solutions.
- Increased motivation and morale: Feeling burned out can make even the simplest tasks feel like a chore. Taking leave allows you to disconnect from work and come back feeling refreshed and motivated. This renewed enthusiasm translates into a more positive attitude and a willingness to go the extra mile.
So, taking breaks isn’t a sign of laziness; it’s a smart strategy for boosting your productivity in the long run.
4. Enhanced creativity
Stepping away from the daily grind can actually spark your creativity! Here’s how:
- New experiences, fresh ideas: Imagine yourself stuck in the same room all day. Not exactly inspiring, right? Taking time off exposes you to new things, whether it’s visiting a museum, trying a new hobby, or simply exploring a different part of town. These new experiences can spark fresh ideas and different perspectives that you can bring back to your job.
- Break free from routine and solve problems creatively: Sometimes, being stuck in the same routine can make it hard to see things from a new angle. A break from work allows you to come back with a clear head and a fresh approach to problems. The innovative solutions you come up with when you’re not bogged down by the daily grind might surprise you.
- Boost your imagination and fuel innovation: Feeling burned out can stifle your creativity. Taking leave gives your mind a chance to relax and recharge. This can lead to a boost in your imagination, making it easier to come up with creative solutions and innovative ideas that can benefit your work.
5. Improved job satisfaction
Happier employees mean a better work environment. People who take vacations and other forms of leave tend to be more satisfied with their jobs overall. Why?
Knowing your employer encourages you to take time off shows they care about your well-being. This can make you feel valued as an employee, which boosts morale.
Taking breaks helps you de-stress and recharge. When you come back to work feeling refreshed and happy, it creates a more positive work environment for everyone.
Feeling constantly burned out can make you want to leave your job. Taking leave helps prevent burnout, which can lead to lower employee turnover and a more stable team.
In short, encouraging employees to take leave creates a happier, healthier, and more productive work environment for everyone involved. It’s a win-win situation.
6. Quality time with loved ones
Feeling constantly pulled between work and personal life? Time off work is your secret weapon. The daily demands of a job can leave you feeling drained and stretched thin. This often translates into neglecting the important relationships in your life, which can take a toll on your overall well-being.
Taking time off, whether it’s a vacation, sick day, or personal day, allows you to hit the pause button on work and reconnect with the people who matter most. Imagine spending quality time with family and friends, free from the stress of work deadlines and overflowing inboxes.
These moments of connection help strengthen your personal bonds, creating a strong support system that can boost your happiness and resilience in all areas of life. After all, a fulfilling personal life isn’t just a perk; it’s a key ingredient for success and overall satisfaction.
So, don’t feel guilty about taking leave! Embrace it as an opportunity to recharge, reconnect, and remind yourself of what truly matters.
7. Personal development
Level up your life, not just your work! Taking time off work isn’t just about relaxation; it’s a chance to invest in yourself. You can use your leave to explore personal growth activities like:
- Learning a new skill: Always wanted to master photography or brush up on a foreign language? Leave gives you the dedicated time to finally take that online course or enrol in a local workshop.
- Pursuing a hobby: Do you have a passion project you’ve been neglecting? Time off allows you to delve deeper into your hobbies, whether it’s writing, painting, playing music, or anything that brings you joy.
- Travelling and exploring: Sometimes a change of scenery is all you need to spark new ideas and gain a fresh perspective. Travelling exposes you to different cultures, broadens your horizons, and can even inspire creative solutions for work-related problems.
These activities not only contribute to your personal fulfilment and overall happiness, but they can also surprisingly benefit your professional life. The new skills you learn, the knowledge you gain, and the creative spark you ignite can all translate into valuable assets that can enhance your work performance.
When companies understand that taking time off is important and encourage their employees to use their vacation days, it creates a better work environment for everyone.
Employees who are well-rested and have time for personal matters are healthier, happier, and more productive. This means the company benefits too, because they have a stronger and more satisfied workforce.
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OPINION
Is Your Partner Getting Close To Their Ex? Here’s What To Do
Published
3 days agoon
May 12, 2024It can be a real gut punch to see your partner getting close to their ex. A whirlwind of emotions—insecurity, jealousy, and confusion—can leave you feeling lost. Before you spiral, take a deep breath and consider the situation.
Here are 7 steps you can take when your partner is getting close to their ex:
1. Decode your feelings
Start with some self-reflection. What exactly is bugging you? Are you feeling insecure about your place in the relationship? Does the renewed contact with the ex trigger past experiences of betrayal? Identifying the root of your discomfort is crucial for effective communication.
2. Communicate your feelings openly and honestly
Once you’ve untangled your emotions, it’s time for a heart-to-heart with your partner. Choose a calm, private moment and express your concerns. Here’s the key: use “I” statements.
Instead of accusatory phrases like “You’re always talking to your ex,” try “I feel insecure when you spend a lot of time with them.” This approach focuses on your feelings and opens the door for a productive conversation.
Listen attentively to your partner’s perspective too. Try to understand why they feel the need for this reconnection. Is it unresolved issues, shared childcare responsibilities, or a genuine desire to maintain a civil friendship?
3. Take a relationship inventory
Sometimes, increased contact with an ex can be a symptom of a deeper issue in your current relationship. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your dynamics.
Are your needs being met? Is there a sense of disconnect that might be pushing your partner towards their ex for emotional fulfilment? Talk openly and honestly about these issues and explore ways to strengthen your bond.
4. Respect boundaries, but set your own
If your partner has a child with their ex, regular contact is likely unavoidable. That’s okay! Respect these boundaries and discuss how you’d like to be involved, especially if it impacts your family dynamic.
For instance, if your partner has weekend visits with their ex and child, is there a way you can participate in some of those activities to create a sense of togetherness?
It’s also perfectly reasonable to feel uncomfortable if the level of contact with the ex seems excessive or emotionally charged. Communicate these boundaries clearly and respectfully to your partner.
5. Focus on trust and transparency
Open communication and trust are the bedrock of any strong relationship. If your partner is open and honest about their interactions with their ex, it can significantly ease your anxieties.
They should be willing to share details about the nature of their communication and assure you that there’s nothing to hide. However, if you discover a pattern of secrecy or dishonesty, it’s a major red flag that needs to be addressed directly.
6. Don’t let the ex steal your spotlight
It’s easy to get caught up in the drama of your partner’s past relationship. But don’t let the ex become the centre of your attention. Focus on strengthening the bond you share with your partner.
Plan exciting date nights, engage in shared activities you both enjoy, and maintain open communication. Invest in making your own relationship a priority.
7. Seek professional help when needed
If communication seems like an insurmountable hurdle or insecurities are overwhelming, consider seeking professional help from a couples therapist. A therapist can provide a safe space for open communication and guide you both towards healthy relationship dynamics.
They can also help you identify underlying issues that might be contributing to the situation and develop strategies to address them.
Bonus tips:
- Don’t be possessive: While it’s natural to want to feel secure in your relationship, avoid controlling your partner’s interactions. Encourage healthy boundaries with their ex, but don’t try to isolate them. Trust is a two-way street, and fostering a sense of independence will ultimately strengthen your bond.
- Maintain your self-confidence: Don’t let the presence of an ex chip away at your self-worth. Remind yourself of what makes you an amazing partner and the unique qualities you bring to the relationship.
- Don’t snoop: The urge to check your partner’s phone or social media for reassurance might be strong, but resist it! This behaviour can damage trust and create unnecessary tension.
Remember, open communication and trust are key. By addressing your concerns honestly and working together towards healthy boundaries, you can navigate this situation and emerge with a stronger, more secure relationship.
Read more about love and relationships here.
Ever feel that fluttering feeling in your stomach before a big interview or when you’re waiting on important news? That’s actually anxiety! But don’t worry; it’s not always a bad thing, and there are ways to reduce anxiety naturally.
This kind of anxiety is actually our body’s way of helping us out. A little racing heart, tenseness, or nervousness can all be signs of good anxiety. It’s our body’s natural reaction to get us ready and focused on what’s to come.
What Is Anxiety?
Have you ever gotten butterflies in your stomach before a big interview? That’s anxiety! It’s normal to feel some anxiety in situations like that. Our bodies are actually trying to help us by getting us alert and focused. This is called “good anxiety.” It helps us stay sharp and prepared.
However, anxiety can become a problem when it’s too strong or doesn’t go away. This is called an anxiety disorder. People with anxiety disorders experience uncontrollable worry that can interfere with their daily lives.
The good news is that there are ways to manage anxiety! There are natural methods for reducing anxiety attacks, and you can also learn more about anxiety from reliable sources like Fab.ng.
Here are some signs of anxiety:
- Panic attacks: These sudden surges of intense fear can be very frightening.
- Physical symptoms: You might experience shortness of breath, restlessness, trembling, or even problems with sleep or digestion (diarrhoea).
- Intrusive thoughts: Anxiety can lead to paranoia or obsessive worries.
When anxiety gets out of control, it can feel paralysing and hold you back from living your life to the fullest. However, there’s hope. The more you manage your anxiety, the better equipped you’ll be to take charge of your emotional, social, and physical well-being.
Now that we know what anxiety is, let’s explore some simple and natural strategies to help you reduce anxiety attacks. Keep reading to learn more.
9 Ways To Reduce Anxiety Naturally
Telling someone with anxiety to “calm down” simply doesn’t work. The good news is that there are effective ways to manage anxiety, and many of them focus on healthy lifestyle changes. Let’s explore some recommended strategies to help you reduce anxiety attacks naturally:
1. First up, exercise
Getting your body moving is a fantastic natural way to reduce anxiety. You don’t need to jump straight into intense workouts. Start small and find activities you enjoy.
Walking is a great option; it’s a low-impact way to clear your head and get some fresh air. Plus, it’s something most people can easily fit into their routine.
Maybe you prefer hiking, cycling, jogging, or even dancing! These activities all have a common benefit: they release endorphins. Often called “happy hormones,” endorphins improve your mood and leave you feeling good.
Exercise also helps boost your concentration and motivation, which can be especially helpful if you struggle with certain anxiety disorders. So lace up your shoes, put on your favourite music, and get moving! It’s a simple step towards feeling better and managing your anxiety.
2. Next up, sleep
Experts say getting enough quality sleep is crucial for both your physical and emotional well-being. When you don’t sleep well, it can actually worsen feelings of anxiety and stress. Aim for 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night to help keep your anxiety in check.
Here are some tips to develop good sleep habits and improve your sleep quality:
- Power down before bed: Turn off all electronics, especially phones and TVs, at least an hour before bedtime. The blue light emitted from these devices can interfere with your sleep cycle.
- Create a calming sleep environment: Make sure your bedroom is dark, quiet, and cool. This will help your body relax and prepare for sleep.
- Develop a sleep routine: Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day, even on weekends. This helps regulate your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle.
3. Eat a balanced diet
The old saying “you are what you eat” holds for anxiety too. Eating a healthy, balanced diet can be a great natural way to manage anxiety symptoms.
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Focus on magnesium: Magnesium is a mineral that plays a role in enzyme function and nerve health. Upping your magnesium intake can be a natural remedy for anxiety. Load up on foods like almonds, whole-wheat grains, quinoa, spinach, cashews, black beans, and even dark chocolate, all of which are rich in magnesium.
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Choose whole foods: Instead of processed foods that are loaded with artificial colours, flavours, and preservatives, opt for natural whole foods that come in a variety of colours. Aim to include plenty of protein, fruits, complex carbohydrates, and vegetables in your diet. These wholesome foods are naturally packed with antioxidants, which can be beneficial for your overall well-being.
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Hydration is key: Don’t forget to stay hydrated! Water and natural homemade juices are essential for your health.
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Pay attention to your body: Notice how your body reacts to certain foods. If you find that specific foods trigger your anxiety, try to limit them or avoid them altogether. This can be a simple but effective way to manage your anxiety naturally.
4. Eliminate caffeine
Look, we all love that morning cup of coffee, but if you struggle with anxiety, it might be time to re-think your caffeine habits. While a moderate amount of coffee probably won’t cause problems for most people, caffeine can worsen anxiety symptoms, especially for those with chronic anxiety disorders.
Here’s why: Caffeine blocks adenosine, a chemical that makes you feel tired. Instead, it triggers the release of adrenaline, which keeps you alert. This surge of adrenaline can lead to jitters and increased nervousness, which can exacerbate anxiety.
We know that breaking up with your morning coffee can be tough. To avoid caffeine withdrawal headaches, try slowly cutting back on the amount you consume each day. Gradually reduce your intake until you reach a point where you can eliminate it altogether. This can be a significant step towards managing your anxiety naturally.
5. Say no to smoking and alcohol
Smoking and alcohol might seem to offer temporary relief from anxiety, but they actually make things worse in the long run. Smoking can worsen anxiety symptoms and irritate the lungs. Alcohol can also trigger anxiety and lead to dependence, which can create a whole new set of problems.
Research shows that both smoking and alcohol can worsen chronic stress and anxiety, especially for those with underlying mental health conditions.
Quitting smoking and alcohol is a smart decision for your overall health and can be a significant step towards managing your anxiety naturally.
6. Chamomile tea for relaxation
Since you’re cutting back on caffeine and alcohol, you might be looking for healthy alternatives to help you relax. Here’s a great option: chamomile tea!
This tea contains a compound called Matricaria recutita, which has natural calming properties. Chamomile tea can help reduce anxiety and even improve your sleep quality.
7. Breathe or rest to reduce anxiety
Anxiety attacks can be really frightening. Your heart races, and it feels like you can’t catch your breath. Here’s a simple trick to calm yourself down: deep breathing exercises.
When you take slow, deep breaths, you signal your body to relax. It’s hard to feel anxious and relaxed at the same time. There are many breathing exercises out there, but here’s a basic one to try:
- Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four.
- Hold your breath for a count of four.
- Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of four. Repeat this process as many times as you need to feel yourself calming down.
8. Meditation for inner peace
Meditation is an age-old practice that’s been shown to be very effective in reducing chronic stress and anxiety. There are many meditation apps available that can guide you through exercises to help lower your stress levels and regulate your breathing during an anxiety attack.
Meditation helps you gain control over your body and mind, giving you the tools you need to manage your anxiety naturally.
9. Aromatherapy to reduce anxiety
Aromatherapy is another great approach to managing anxiety naturally. It’s an ancient practice that uses essential oils and plant extracts to promote overall well-being. Anxiety attacks can strike at any time, including at night, making it difficult to sleep.
Certain essential oils can help you relax, improve your mood, and get a better night’s rest. Lavender, bergamot, ylang-ylang, clary sage, and grapefruit are all known for their calming properties.
When anxiety disrupts your sleep, try diffusing these oils, adding a few drops to your bath, or inhaling them directly. You might be surprised at how effective they can be.
Bonus Tip: Laughter is the best medicine
They say laughter is the best medicine, and that holds true for anxiety too. When you laugh, it takes your mind off worries and anxieties and boosts your mood. Spending time with loved ones and sharing some laughs is a great way to de-stress and feel better.
Remember, you’re not alone
Anxiety attacks can be tough, but they are manageable. Find what works best for you to reduce your anxiety naturally. There are many resources available to help you learn more about anxiety and effective coping mechanisms.
Share your experiences
Have you ever dealt with anxiety? What natural remedies have helped you? Share your experiences in our comment section to help others.
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