One of the unanswered questions on the lips of many single women is why so many marriags are failing.
While we can’t point our fingers to one main reason because it is different from one marriage to the other, Stella Damasus is opening our eyes some factors that she believes may lead to an unhappy marriage. She says it is something everyone who is planning to get married or is already married needs to hear.
In a vlog she titled, “Why your relationships will fail,” Stella talks about the baggages we carry from one relationship to the other.
These baggages are negativities, bitterness, pain and other emotional issues that we left untreated or unfixed.
Until we do something about them, according to her, we may continue running into problems in our relationships and with our spouses thinking they are the problem.
“I’m sure you’ve heard your spouse tell you one time or the other, ‘you are changing’ or ‘you have changed’ or ‘this is not the way you used to treat me,’” she asks.
She said,
One of the major reason why a relationship will fail is that, as women, we have a lot of baggage. Things that we have carried for a long time. We are emotional beings and women know how to keep things-deep things, some things that we have left untreated.
Things that we have not spoken about them, we’ve not sorted tham out, we havent done much about them. There’s no cure, there’s no prayer for it, we havent asked God to remove those things from us.
So, what now happens is when we meet a man, we’re nice, friendly and sweet. We do everything in the books and by the books to get his attention and we put our best foot forward so that he falls in love but we still carry the baggage.
For instance, when you get married, your man sees the best side of you, but then, you’re packing your baggaages in your suitcase to move into your husband’s house.
In your suitcase, you’re packing your anger, your spirit of doubt, your jealousy, the pain that you havent resolved, your fight that you havent fixed. Things that are not resolved in your life. all your past relationship, the suspicion, the distrust, you pack it and take it into your new home or into your new relationships.
Lets say you pack all these negativities as clothes, everyday, when you wake up, you take a shower and you wear one of them because that is what you have packed.
For example, you wear pain, and throughout that day, there is pain and you probably don’t realise that all you are carrying in your suitcase are a lot of negativity and you wear this pain and it is reflected in everything you do and your partner is looking at you and wondering, “why have you changed? What’s going on?”
And you think its all in his head and you’re asking why he’s blaming you for it and then the fight will start. You don’t realise that you carried that pain from your previous life into that relationship.
The next day, you wear a garment of unforgiveness and when he does something small, you snap, you don’t forgive him and your husband is wondering, ‘this is not the person I married.’
