Wanna the truths that can save your love life? Listen up, my people! Over the years, there have been all sorts of love issues. Trust me, it’s not been small at all.
From people getting ghosted like they’re invisible, to those dealing with partners who aren’t serious, to the headache of deciding whether to leave a relationship that’s just okay but not quite right.
Finding love? Abeg, it can be messier than Oshodi traffic on a Monday morning!
Now, I can’t give you one simple formula or catchy phrase that’ll solve all your love problems like magic. But best believe, I’ve picked up some valuable lessons along the way that can save your love life.
I will drop five big truths about love and relationships that you need to hold tight. These truths, I’m telling you, can save your love life if you take them seriously. They’ll help you navigate this crazy love thing we’re all trying to figure out.
Remember, finding true love is a journey, not a quick trip to the corner store. So take it easy, learn as you go, and always believe that your own love story is coming. These truths will save your love life if you let them, so keep them close to your heart, okay? Let’s go!
1. Be open about who you meet, but very selective about who you invest in.
Many single people approach dating like this: they swipe through profiles, attend parties, and go to singles’ events. Meanwhile, there’s this constant “NO” voice in their heads, telling them why they shouldn’t talk to someone. The voice says things like:
“Is he really wearing those shorts with that shirt?”
“She reads that silly book?”
“His smile looks too cocky.”
“I don’t trust anyone who wears beanies. She must be one of those annoying hipsters.” And on and on it goes…
Now, we all have standards, and that’s perfectly fine. But maybe that voice—the one that’s always giving us reasons not to engage—doesn’t have our best interests at heart. Because when that voice keeps you from talking to people, you end up meeting hardly anyone at all.
In fact, you meet so few people that when you finally meet one person you like, your brain jumps into overdrive, shouting, “This is it! They’re perfect!” as if you’ve found some magical solution to everything. Never mind that this person might vanish for weeks, stop responding, and then suddenly pop up again with a half-hearted “Hey, you up?” (Yes, in this flimsy metaphor, people are like bananas).
The smart way to date is to reverse this mindset: be open to talking to different people, even if it’s just for a short while. But when it comes to investing your emotions, that’s where you should be extra selective.
2. Value character as much as you value chemistry.
Hollywood and romantic novels have conditioned us to believe that if love isn’t making your heart race and leaving you breathless at every encounter, then you’re not doing it right.
Now, I’m all for that intense, passion-filled excitement that comes with the honeymoon phase of a relationship. It’s thrilling, and we all enjoy those moments of pure chemistry. But too often, we let this intoxicating excitement overshadow the more important qualities of the person standing in front of us.
Do they keep their word and follow through on what they promise? Can they truly be loyal? Do they lift you up, encouraging you and making your life feel lighter? Or do they constantly complain and leave you out of their plans?
The sooner we recognize that character and chemistry deserve equal weight, the more fulfilled and content we’ll be in the relationships we choose to build.
3. If it’s a choice between being respected and being liked, choose being respected.
Of course, you can achieve both—you can be respected and liked at the same time. But there are moments when you face a choice: do you give in to your people-pleasing tendencies and say what the other person wants to hear? Or do you stand your ground, respect yourself, and express your true needs or opinions, even if it might rub them the wrong way at that moment?
It could be setting a boundary, asking them to take the initiative and plan the next date, calling someone out on their bad behaviour, or simply ensuring that your other priorities in life stay balanced.
Whatever the situation, if you handle it with honesty and thoughtfulness, both your sense of self-worth and the way others value you will grow.
4. Disinterest is a turn-off. When someone gives you less, you should be less interested.
We’re often told that great love must come with challenges. And yes, challenges can be exciting if they come from someone who pushes us to become better versions of ourselves. But when someone is showing clear disinterest or outright ignoring you, that should always be a red flag, not something you chase after.
If there’s one lesson that could save countless people from wasting time longing for the wrong person, it’s this: someone not wanting you should instantly make you lose interest.
Why? Because, no matter how amazing this person seems on paper, they simply cannot meet your needs. They’ve failed one of the most basic requirements of loving you: the desire to be present and show it.
Start valuing how someone treats you just as much as you value chemistry and connection, and you’ll find that dating becomes a lot less complicated.
5. Choose a partner you can have a 50+ year conversation with.
Credit goes to writer David Brooks who once said, “Marriage is a 50-year conversation.”
When you truly understand the depth of that statement, it changes how you choose who to spend your life with. You begin to see the mistake of picking someone based purely on their status, looks, job, or seemingly glamorous lifestyle.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want a partner who brings you joy in various ways, but it’s a reminder that beyond the Instagram-perfect moments of trips to Dubai and ice cream on the beach, there’s the real, everyday life you’ll share.
The dinner table conversations. Relaxing together after a long day. Taking a lazy Sunday stroll. Long car rides. Raising children. Spending time with each other’s family and friends.
So, the real question becomes: Can I spend “that” much time with this person? Am I in love with their soul? Do I enjoy hearing their thoughts? Can they connect with my mind? Do they understand me and make me feel at home?
Start with those questions, and you’ll find it much harder to make the wrong choice.
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