HEALTHY LIVING

You Don’t Need To Love Yourself Before You Can Love Someone Else, Here’s Why

Published

9 months ago

March 9, 2024

Love Yourself First? Why You Don’t Need To | Fab.ng

The idea that loving yourself is a prerequisite for receiving love from others is a common misconception, and you may strongly disagree. Read on and find out why.

Questions like “Will I only attract people who will hurt me?” and “Do I need to be ‘fixed’ before anyone can love me?” would plague your mind. This fear is a significant barrier to experiencing authentic connections with others.

While cultivating self-love can undoubtedly enhance your relationships, it is crucial to understand that it’s not a mandatory step before allowing yourself to love and be loved by others. It’s a journey, not a destination, and often unfolds through the very act of connecting with others and experiencing their acceptance and care.

Why do people say you need to love yourself before loving others?

Loving yourself doesn’t mean you always feel good; it means knowing you deserve respect and kindness, even when you make mistakes. It’s about focusing on how you feel about yourself, not just how others see you.

For example, after a date, focus on your own experience rather than obsessing over whether they liked you. If you fail a test, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, make a plan to improve.

Without self-love, you might feel worthless and struggle to believe that you deserve healthy relationships. You might even be drawn to people who confirm negative beliefs about yourself. This can be especially true if you have faced rejection or disapproval in the past or belong to a marginalised group.

Remember, we often gravitate towards what feels familiar, even if it’s not what’s truly good for us.

Why it can be ‘harmful’ to think you must love yourself before loving others

Loving yourself is great for relationships, but it doesn’t have to come before them. Waiting to love or date until you’re completely healed might hold you back. Healing often takes a long time, and healthy relationships can actually support that process.

Love Yourself First? Why You Don’t Need To | Fab.ng

You might be feeling anxious or scared about being in a relationship, and that’s okay. Healing can also happen through connection with others, not just by yourself. Therapy works because of the relationship between the therapist and the client. We also know that physical touch can help us feel less pain.

So, you can learn to love yourself and heal while being with a loving partner who supports you on that journey.

How the love of someone else can help you achieve self-love

While self-love is important, it’s not a requirement for having healthy romantic relationships. In fact, opening yourself up to love can actually be a step towards self-love in itself.

Here’s why:

A new perspective: A loving partner can offer a different perspective on your perceived flaws. They might not share your negative view, and their acceptance can help you see yourself in a more positive light.
Healing through connection: Hiding your vulnerabilities hinders healing. Sharing them with a loving partner can create an opportunity for the support and care you might have been missing.
Validation and understanding: A healthy partner might validate your feelings, even those you perceive as negative. For example, they might see your anger as passion, and their appreciation can help you see it differently.
Acceptance can lead to self-acceptance: When someone accepts and appreciates parts of you that you dislike, it can lead to a more accepting and compassionate relationship with yourself.

Love Yourself First? Why You Don’t Need To | Fab.ng

Instead of focusing on whether you’re “ready to be loved,” consider asking, “Am I ready to be honest with myself and others as we grow together?” This shift in perspective emphasises the journey of self-discovery and growth that can be fostered within a loving relationship.

Remember, self-love and healthy partnerships can be mutually reinforcing. By opening yourself up to love, you may find unexpected support and even discover new aspects of yourself that you appreciate.

How to work towards self-love while in a relationship

1. Practice vulnerability with a partner you trust

Exposing your vulnerabilities can be daunting. You might fear rejection if you reveal your perceived flaws. However, this fear is simply your brain’s natural defence mechanism, trying to protect you from potential harm.

On the other hand, our emotional core yearns for connection. True connection often requires taking risks and being vulnerable. Sharing your vulnerabilities may feel like a leap of faith, requiring courage and perseverance, but it can ultimately lead to deeper and more meaningful relationships.

2. Focus energy on developing self-compassion

While loving every aspect of yourself, even the wounded or broken parts, isn’t a prerequisite for being loved or loving others, acknowledging and understanding these parts is essential. This involves developing a relationship with them, enabling you to share them authentically.

Love Yourself First? Why You Don’t Need To | Fab.ng

The journey starts with self-compassion. Instead of harsh self-criticism, explore the origins of your negative self-image. This means observing and accepting these parts without judgment, simply acknowledging their presence.

The benefits extend beyond you. Research shows self-compassion translates to being more caring and supportive and less aggressive and controlling within relationships.

Additionally, studies indicate that both individuals with self-compassion and their partners experience higher overall well-being. This means that even if you haven’t reached a point of self-love, working on self-compassion can significantly benefit your relationships.

Developing self-compassion involves three key elements:

Self-kindness: treat yourself with warmth and understanding, replacing self-criticism with support during difficult times.
Common humanity: recognise that everyone experiences challenges and hardships throughout life. You are not alone.
Mindfulness: acknowledge and accept negative emotions without judgment. Instead of identifying with them, simply observe them. For example, instead of saying “I am an angry person,” say “I am feeling angry right now.”

By practising self-compassion, you can embark on a journey towards a healthier relationship with yourself and, ultimately, healthier relationships with others.

3. Practice owning your stuff (rather than trying to be “healed”)

Owning your “triggers” in relationships doesn’t mean instant solutions. Instead of hiding or blaming your partner, take responsibility for your feelings and how they affect your interactions. For example, acknowledge that criticising your partner for abandonment might stem from your own past experiences, not their current actions.

Reflect on these questions:

What parts of myself do I struggle with?
Where do these struggles come from?
How do I react to these parts?
How do they affect my relationships?
How can I take responsibility for them?
Can I change the story I tell myself from “what’s wrong with me?” to “what happened that made me feel bad, unworthy, or unlovable?”

These questions can guide you as you address your vulnerabilities and work towards self-acceptance, even while experiencing love and giving it in return.

While you hope to find self-love on your own, recognise that for some, the love from others can be a powerful force that paves the way towards self-love. Ultimately, a partner’s love and acceptance of your perceived flaws can help you accept them yourself and maybe even love them one day.

If you enjoyed this article, consider reading more here.

HEALTHY LIVING

5 Health Problems That Can Develop From Crying

Published

5 days ago

November 16, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Health Problems Caused By Crying | fab.ng

Crying acts as a natural way to release emotions and can help relieve stress in difficult moments. However, health problems can arise and they can be caused by crying too often or too intensely.

Health problems caused by crying can arise, especially when linked to extreme emotions like grief, anxiety, or prolonged sadness. For instance, frequent crying may result in headaches, swollen eyes, or even chest discomfort due to increased stress.

Moreover, health problems caused by crying can include shortness of breath or heart palpitations, especially if crying episodes are intense. Individuals who cry excessively might also experience exacerbation of mental health conditions like depression.

Understanding these health problems caused by crying is crucial, as it helps people take the necessary steps to manage their emotional health effectively.

1. Headaches and Migraines

One of the most common physical effects of crying is a headache. The act of crying can cause muscle tension in the neck, shoulders, and scalp, leading to headaches or even migraines.

When you cry, your body releases a surge of stress hormones like cortisol, which can cause blood vessels in the brain to expand and trigger pain.

Frequent crying, especially if it’s intense, can worsen this pain, leaving you feeling drained and exhausted afterwards. For people already prone to migraines, crying can act as a trigger, making these episodes more frequent.

2. Puffy and Swollen Eyes

Crying often leads to swollen, red, and puffy eyes. This happens because tears contain salt, which can irritate the sensitive tissues around the eyes.

Additionally, the increased blood flow to the area during intense crying can cause fluid to accumulate, leading to puffiness.

If someone cries frequently, this can become more than just a temporary cosmetic issue—it can cause persistent irritation and swelling, particularly if they rub their eyes often during crying episodes.

3. Difficulty Breathing and Hyperventilation

During an intense crying spell, some people might experience shortness of breath or even hyperventilation. This occurs because crying affects your breathing pattern, causing rapid, shallow breaths.

When you hyperventilate, you expel too much carbon dioxide, which can lead to dizziness, light-headedness, or even fainting. For those with pre-existing respiratory conditions like asthma, crying episodes can exacerbate symptoms, making it harder to catch their breath.

4. Chest Pain and Heart Palpitations

Strong emotions, especially those tied to crying, can put a significant strain on your cardiovascular system. Crying intensely can lead to chest tightness and palpitations because it activates the body’s stress response.

The surge of adrenaline and other stress hormones can make your heart rate increase, which can feel like a racing heart or chest discomfort.

While occasional crying-induced chest pain may not be harmful, if it occurs frequently, it could indicate deeper emotional or cardiovascular issues that may require medical attention.

5. Exacerbation of Mental Health Conditions

While crying can sometimes be a healthy emotional release, crying excessively might indicate deeper mental health concerns like anxiety or depression.

Chronic crying can worsen feelings of hopelessness or sadness, creating a cycle that affects mental well-being. According to research, while some people may feel relief after crying, others may not, especially if they are already struggling with depression.

This emotional toll can manifest physically, causing fatigue, body aches, and a weakened immune system due to prolonged stress.

Coping Strategies for Managing Excessive Crying

If you find yourself crying frequently, there are ways to manage it. Mindful breathing techniques, physical exercise, and speaking to a mental health professional can help reduce the frequency of emotional outbursts.

It’s also essential to recognize that crying may be a sign of underlying health conditions, particularly if it begins to interfere with your daily life.

While crying is a normal and often healthy emotional release, understanding its physical and emotional effects can help you manage your well-being more effectively. If crying episodes become overwhelming, consider seeking support from healthcare professionals.

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HEALTHY LIVING

12 Daily Habits That Cause Mouth Odour Even After Brushing

Published

3 weeks ago

November 2, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Habits That Cause Mouth Odour Even After Brushing | fab.ng

Bad breath can be frustrating, especially if it lingers even after brushing. Certain habits that cause mouth odour even after brushing are often overlooked but can significantly impact oral health.

For example, skipping flossing allows food particles and bacteria to build up between teeth, leading to unpleasant odours.

Additionally, dehydration causes a dry mouth, reducing saliva production, which typically helps wash away odour-causing bacteria.

Consuming strong-smelling foods like garlic and onions can also lead to mouth odour, even after brushing, as these scents linger and are absorbed into the bloodstream.

Smoking or using tobacco is another major contributor, coating the mouth with lingering smells that brushing alone can’t remove.

Regularly addressing these habits that cause mouth odour even after brushing can improve breath freshness and overall oral health.

Proper hydration, a full oral hygiene routine, and avoiding certain foods can make all the difference.

Poor Oral Hygiene:

1. Neglecting Tongue Cleaning: The tongue harbours bacteria, which can cause significant bad breath. Using a tongue scraper daily can effectively remove these bacteria and freshen your breath.

2. Skipping Flossing: Flossing removes food particles and plaque from between your teeth, areas that your toothbrush can’t reach. These trapped particles can lead to bacterial growth and bad breath.

3. Relying Solely on Mouthwash: While mouthwash can temporarily mask bad breath, it doesn’t address the underlying issue. Brushing your teeth twice a day with fluoride toothpaste is essential for removing plaque and bacteria.

4. Dehydration: Saliva helps wash away food particles and bacteria, keeping your mouth fresh. Drinking plenty of water throughout the day can help maintain adequate saliva production.

Underlying Health Conditions:

5. Dry Mouth: Dry mouth, or xerostomia, can lead to bad breath as saliva helps to wash away bacteria. Certain medications, medical conditions, and habits like mouth breathing can contribute to dry mouth.

6. Gum Disease: Gum disease, characterized by inflammation and infection of the gums, can cause persistent bad breath. Regular dental check-ups and proper oral hygiene are crucial for preventing gum disease.

7. Sinus Infections: Sinus infections can lead to postnasal drip, which can cause bad breath. Treatment of underlying sinus infections is essential for improving breath odour.

8. Gastrointestinal Issues: Certain digestive disorders, such as acid reflux and irritable bowel syndrome, can cause bad breath. Treating these underlying conditions can help alleviate bad breath.

Lifestyle Factors:

9. Diet: Consuming strong-smelling foods like garlic, onions, and spicy foods can contribute to temporary bad breath. Additionally, a diet high in sugar can feed bacteria, leading to increased bad breath.

10. Smoking and Tobacco Use: Smoking and tobacco use can significantly worsen bad breath. These habits can irritate the mouth and throat, leading to dry mouth and increased bacterial growth.

11. Certain Medications: Some medications can cause dry mouth as a side effect, contributing to bad breath. Consult with your doctor to discuss potential alternatives or strategies to manage dry mouth.

12. Stress and Anxiety: Stress and anxiety can lead to increased saliva production, which can sometimes cause bad breath. Practising relaxation techniques and stress management strategies can help alleviate this issue.

To maintain fresh breath, it’s essential to practice good oral hygiene, stay hydrated, and address any underlying health conditions. Regular dental check-ups are also crucial for identifying and treating potential causes of bad breath.

Here are some additional tips for maintaining fresh breath:

Avoid excessive alcohol consumption: Alcohol can dehydrate the mouth and contribute to bad breath.
Limit sugary drinks: Sugary drinks can feed bacteria, leading to increased bad breath.
Chew sugar-free gum: Chewing sugar-free gum can stimulate saliva production and help to wash away food particles and bacteria.
Use a mouthwash with antibacterial properties: A mouthwash with antibacterial properties can help kill bacteria and freshen your breath.
Consider using a dental rinse: A dental rinse can help remove plaque and bacteria from hard-to-reach areas of the mouth.

If you are concerned about bad breath, it is important to see your dentist or doctor to rule out any underlying medical conditions.

Get more health tips here.

HEALTHY LIVING

Do Bras Really Keep Breasts From Sagging? Check This Out!

Published

4 weeks ago

October 26, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Do Bras Keep Breasts From Sagging? | fab.ng

One common insecurity many women face is having saggy breasts. This often leads to the question: Do bras keep breasts from sagging? Many turn to bras, especially tight or constricting ones, in hopes that they can prevent or reverse sagging. This has sparked widespread curiosity about whether bras can truly offer such support.

Over the years, different speculations have emerged about the effectiveness of bras in keeping breasts firm. People frequently ask, do bras keep breasts from sagging, and if so, to what extent? Some believe bras can prevent sagging, while others argue that they have little impact.

In this article, we’ll explore the truth behind these claims and provide a clear understanding of the role bras may or may not play in preventing saggy breasts.

Why do breasts sag?

Breast sagging, also known as breast ptosis, is influenced by a variety of factors. These include genetics, age, breast size, pregnancy, breastfeeding, weight fluctuations, and even the constant pull of gravity over time. Each of these elements plays a role in how the breasts change shape and firmness.

Breasts are composed of dense glandular tissue and Cooper’s ligaments, which are connective tissues that help attach the breasts to the chest wall. The firmness and shape of the breasts largely depend on the strength and elasticity of these ligaments.

As women age, the body undergoes natural changes, one of which involves glandular tissue gradually being replaced by fat. This shift, combined with the stretching of the suspensory ligaments, can lead to sagging over time.

This brings up the popular question again: Do bras keep breasts from sagging? Some believe that wearing a bra offers support that could counteract these changes, but the science is not definitive.

Since internal tissue changes are the primary cause of sagging, it’s essential to recognize the limits of what bras can achieve in maintaining long-term breast firmness. While bras offer external support, they cannot prevent the natural changes that occur within the breast tissue over time.

Understanding the natural anatomy and the external factors that contribute to sagging helps clarify whether or not bras can effectively prevent this condition. So, do bras keep breasts from sagging? We’ll explore this question further in light of what really happens inside the breast tissue.

Does wearing bras keep breasts from sagging?

Wearing a bra actively helps prevent long-term sagging, particularly for women with C-cup sizes and above. The additional support that bras provide can reduce strain on the breast tissues, which may help in maintaining a firmer appearance over time.

Going braless consistently, however, can eventually lead to sagging due to the stretching of Cooper’s ligaments. These ligaments, which hold up the breasts, can be influenced by regular bra usage, making bras an important factor in supporting breast tissue.

Joanna Wakefield-Scurr, who heads a research group on breast health, pointed out that bras may aid in maintaining the breast’s shape by lifting it, rather than causing it to sag. Her research suggests that ‘bras keep breasts from sagging’ is a valid statement, especially when considering the benefits of added support.

Much like how restrictive clothing such as corsets or certain types of shoes can alter the body’s anatomy, bras can influence the long-term appearance of the breasts by providing necessary support.

Additionally, evidence from populations where women have never worn bras shows that their breasts often sag and elongate. This observation suggests that insufficient support for the breast’s skin tissues can lead to stretching. Further, it reinforces the idea behind the ‘Do bras keep breasts from sagging’ question.

Other Benefits of Wearing Bras

For women who lead active lifestyles, such as walking, hiking, or working out, wearing a compression-fit sports bra plays a crucial role in maintaining good posture and preventing back strain. Without this essential support, the repetitive motion and impact can negatively affect the spine and muscles.

Wearing a bra also provides relief from physical discomfort for women with larger breasts, who often experience neck and back stiffness due to the added weight. A well-fitted, supportive bra can alleviate this strain. Also, it can offer better comfort throughout the day.

Additionally, supportive bras are important for maintaining breast health. However, bras must fit properly; overly tight bras can cause circulation issues and even lead to cardiovascular problems if worn regularly.

While bras provide many benefits, it’s important to remember that, over time, nature will take its course, and breasts will naturally sag regardless of their shape or size.

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