HEALTHY LIVING

You Don’t Need To Love Yourself Before You Can Love Someone Else, Here’s Why

Published

10 months ago

March 9, 2024

Love Yourself First? Why You Don’t Need To | Fab.ng

The idea that loving yourself is a prerequisite for receiving love from others is a common misconception, and you may strongly disagree. Read on and find out why.

Questions like “Will I only attract people who will hurt me?” and “Do I need to be ‘fixed’ before anyone can love me?” would plague your mind. This fear is a significant barrier to experiencing authentic connections with others.

While cultivating self-love can undoubtedly enhance your relationships, it is crucial to understand that it’s not a mandatory step before allowing yourself to love and be loved by others. It’s a journey, not a destination, and often unfolds through the very act of connecting with others and experiencing their acceptance and care.

Why do people say you need to love yourself before loving others?

Loving yourself doesn’t mean you always feel good; it means knowing you deserve respect and kindness, even when you make mistakes. It’s about focusing on how you feel about yourself, not just how others see you.

For example, after a date, focus on your own experience rather than obsessing over whether they liked you. If you fail a test, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, make a plan to improve.

Without self-love, you might feel worthless and struggle to believe that you deserve healthy relationships. You might even be drawn to people who confirm negative beliefs about yourself. This can be especially true if you have faced rejection or disapproval in the past or belong to a marginalised group.

Remember, we often gravitate towards what feels familiar, even if it’s not what’s truly good for us.

Why it can be ‘harmful’ to think you must love yourself before loving others

Loving yourself is great for relationships, but it doesn’t have to come before them. Waiting to love or date until you’re completely healed might hold you back. Healing often takes a long time, and healthy relationships can actually support that process.

Love Yourself First? Why You Don’t Need To | Fab.ng

You might be feeling anxious or scared about being in a relationship, and that’s okay. Healing can also happen through connection with others, not just by yourself. Therapy works because of the relationship between the therapist and the client. We also know that physical touch can help us feel less pain.

So, you can learn to love yourself and heal while being with a loving partner who supports you on that journey.

How the love of someone else can help you achieve self-love

While self-love is important, it’s not a requirement for having healthy romantic relationships. In fact, opening yourself up to love can actually be a step towards self-love in itself.

Here’s why:

A new perspective: A loving partner can offer a different perspective on your perceived flaws. They might not share your negative view, and their acceptance can help you see yourself in a more positive light.
Healing through connection: Hiding your vulnerabilities hinders healing. Sharing them with a loving partner can create an opportunity for the support and care you might have been missing.
Validation and understanding: A healthy partner might validate your feelings, even those you perceive as negative. For example, they might see your anger as passion, and their appreciation can help you see it differently.
Acceptance can lead to self-acceptance: When someone accepts and appreciates parts of you that you dislike, it can lead to a more accepting and compassionate relationship with yourself.

Love Yourself First? Why You Don’t Need To | Fab.ng

Instead of focusing on whether you’re “ready to be loved,” consider asking, “Am I ready to be honest with myself and others as we grow together?” This shift in perspective emphasises the journey of self-discovery and growth that can be fostered within a loving relationship.

Remember, self-love and healthy partnerships can be mutually reinforcing. By opening yourself up to love, you may find unexpected support and even discover new aspects of yourself that you appreciate.

How to work towards self-love while in a relationship

1. Practice vulnerability with a partner you trust

Exposing your vulnerabilities can be daunting. You might fear rejection if you reveal your perceived flaws. However, this fear is simply your brain’s natural defence mechanism, trying to protect you from potential harm.

On the other hand, our emotional core yearns for connection. True connection often requires taking risks and being vulnerable. Sharing your vulnerabilities may feel like a leap of faith, requiring courage and perseverance, but it can ultimately lead to deeper and more meaningful relationships.

2. Focus energy on developing self-compassion

While loving every aspect of yourself, even the wounded or broken parts, isn’t a prerequisite for being loved or loving others, acknowledging and understanding these parts is essential. This involves developing a relationship with them, enabling you to share them authentically.

Love Yourself First? Why You Don’t Need To | Fab.ng

The journey starts with self-compassion. Instead of harsh self-criticism, explore the origins of your negative self-image. This means observing and accepting these parts without judgment, simply acknowledging their presence.

The benefits extend beyond you. Research shows self-compassion translates to being more caring and supportive and less aggressive and controlling within relationships.

Additionally, studies indicate that both individuals with self-compassion and their partners experience higher overall well-being. This means that even if you haven’t reached a point of self-love, working on self-compassion can significantly benefit your relationships.

Developing self-compassion involves three key elements:

Self-kindness: treat yourself with warmth and understanding, replacing self-criticism with support during difficult times.
Common humanity: recognise that everyone experiences challenges and hardships throughout life. You are not alone.
Mindfulness: acknowledge and accept negative emotions without judgment. Instead of identifying with them, simply observe them. For example, instead of saying “I am an angry person,” say “I am feeling angry right now.”

By practising self-compassion, you can embark on a journey towards a healthier relationship with yourself and, ultimately, healthier relationships with others.

3. Practice owning your stuff (rather than trying to be “healed”)

Owning your “triggers” in relationships doesn’t mean instant solutions. Instead of hiding or blaming your partner, take responsibility for your feelings and how they affect your interactions. For example, acknowledge that criticising your partner for abandonment might stem from your own past experiences, not their current actions.

Reflect on these questions:

What parts of myself do I struggle with?
Where do these struggles come from?
How do I react to these parts?
How do they affect my relationships?
How can I take responsibility for them?
Can I change the story I tell myself from “what’s wrong with me?” to “what happened that made me feel bad, unworthy, or unlovable?”

These questions can guide you as you address your vulnerabilities and work towards self-acceptance, even while experiencing love and giving it in return.

While you hope to find self-love on your own, recognise that for some, the love from others can be a powerful force that paves the way towards self-love. Ultimately, a partner’s love and acceptance of your perceived flaws can help you accept them yourself and maybe even love them one day.

If you enjoyed this article, consider reading more here.

HEALTHY LIVING

5 Ways To Stay Healthy This Christmas Season

Published

17 hours ago

December 21, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

5 Ways To Stay Healthy This Christmas Season | fab.ng

The Christmas season is full of joy, food, and celebrations, but it can also be a time when health routines fall by the wayside. To stay healthy during the festive period, adopting mindful habits is key.

Here are five actionable strategies to ensure you enjoy the festivities while prioritising your well-being.

1. Make Balanced Food Choices

The holiday season is synonymous with indulgence. While it’s tempting to try everything on the table, opt for a balanced approach. Start meals with proteins and vegetables, which keep you full longer and stabilise your blood sugar.

Enjoy festive treats in moderation, allowing yourself small portions of your favourites without overindulging. By practising mindful eating, you can savour holiday flavours without guilt.

Staying hydrated is equally important. Drink plenty of water to counterbalance rich foods and avoid excessive sugary beverages or cocktails. Alternating alcohol with water is a good way to maintain balance during parties.

2. Prioritise Regular Exercise

Exercise doesn’t have to stop during the Christmas season. Incorporate simple physical activities like morning walks, quick home workouts, or even yoga to maintain your energy levels and reduce stress.

A 10–15 minute walk after meals can aid digestion and manage blood sugar levels. Staying active ensures you feel energised and offsets the effects of holiday indulgences.

3. Manage Holiday Stress

The Christmas season can be hectic, with endless to-do lists and social events. Combat stress by practising mindfulness and setting realistic expectations for your time.

Take breaks when needed, meditate, or engage in activities that help you unwind. Organising your tasks and delegating responsibilities can also alleviate pressure.

4. Get Adequate Sleep

Sleep is crucial for overall health, especially during a busy festive period. Poor sleep can lead to increased cravings and mood swings, making it harder to stick to healthy habits. Aim for 7–8 hours of rest each night.

Create a calming bedtime routine by avoiding screens, dimming lights, and reading a book to relax. Staying consistent with your sleep schedule will keep your energy levels high throughout the Christmas season.

5. Plan Ahead for Healthier Choices

With back-to-back events, it’s easy to fall into unhealthy eating habits. Preparing healthy snacks like nuts, boiled eggs, or fruit ensures you have nutritious options on hand.

Planning meals and snacks ahead of time helps avoid impulsive decisions, keeping your health goals on track even during the busiest days.

Enjoy the Festivities While Staying Healthy

By focusing on mindful eating, staying active, managing stress, sleeping well, and planning ahead, you can enjoy the Christmas season while maintaining your health. Balancing fun with wellness ensures you start the new year feeling your best.

If you found this article helpful, read more here.

FOOD

5 Health Benefits Of Cooking With Garlic

Published

2 weeks ago

December 7, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

5 Health Benefits of Cooking With Garlic | fab.ng

Garlic is more than just a flavour enhancer; it offers numerous health benefits that have been celebrated for centuries. Incorporating garlic into your meals not only enriches the taste but also boosts your overall well-being.

Let’s explore five key health benefits of garlic, emphasising why this simple ingredient deserves a spot in your kitchen.

1. Boosts Heart Health

Garlic is renowned for its heart-protective properties. It helps lower blood pressure and reduces cholesterol levels, which are crucial factors in maintaining cardiovascular health.

Allicin, a compound found in garlic, relaxes blood vessels, improving blood flow and reducing the risk of heart disease.

Regular consumption of garlic may also prevent artery hardening, a condition known as atherosclerosis. Clearly, one of the primary health benefits of garlic is its contribution to a healthy heart.

2. Strengthens the Immune System

Garlic acts as a powerful immune booster. Its antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal properties help the body fend off infections. Rich in antioxidants, garlic combats free radicals that can damage cells and contribute to illness.

Cooking with garlic regularly can support your immune system, making it more resilient against common colds and flu. This vital health benefit of garlic makes it a natural defence mechanism.

3. Improves Digestive Health

Garlic promotes healthy digestion by stimulating the production of digestive enzymes. Its antimicrobial properties can help balance gut flora, reducing harmful bacteria and promoting beneficial ones.

Additionally, garlic may reduce inflammation in the gut, alleviating symptoms of conditions like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).

Including garlic in your diet can improve overall digestive function, emphasising another essential health benefit of garlic.

4. Enhances Bone Health

Surprisingly, garlic may also support strong bones. It contains minerals like calcium, manganese, and selenium, which are vital for bone density and strength.

Some studies suggest that garlic consumption can increase estrogen levels in women, potentially reducing the risk of osteoporosis.

This lesser-known health benefit of garlic highlights its role beyond the kitchen, contributing to long-term skeletal health.

5. Supports Detoxification

Garlic aids the body’s natural detoxification process by activating liver enzymes that help eliminate toxins. Its sulfur compounds enhance liver function, enabling the body to flush out heavy metals and harmful substances more efficiently.

Regularly cooking with garlic can provide a natural cleanse, supporting overall vitality. This detoxifying health benefit of garlic underscores its importance for maintaining internal balance.

Incorporating Garlic into Your Diet

Maximise these health benefits by adding garlic to soups, stir-fries, and sauces. Crush or chop it and let it sit for a few minutes before cooking to enhance its beneficial compounds.

Remember, the health benefits of garlic are most potent when it’s used fresh and minimally cooked.

Cooking with garlic not only elevates your culinary creations but also offers significant health advantages. Embrace this versatile ingredient and enjoy the multiple health benefits of garlic with every meal.

Would you like more articles or additional tips? Check here.

HEALTHY LIVING

How To Stay Healthy While Boosting Productivity

Published

3 weeks ago

November 30, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Balancing health and productivity is essential for personal well-being and professional success. Integrating healthy habits into your daily routine enhances focus, reduces stress, and increases overall efficiency.

Here’s how you can maintain good health while staying productive:

1. Prioritise Physical Health

Exercise Regularly: Physical activity enhances both physical health and mental clarity. Simple practices like taking short walks during breaks or stretching between tasks improve circulation and energy levels.

Maintain Good Nutrition: Eating balanced meals fuels your body and brain. Choose healthy snacks and stay hydrated throughout the day to maintain consistent energy levels.

Sleep Well: Adequate sleep (7-9 hours) improves memory, focus, and mood, contributing to higher productivity. Establish a consistent bedtime routine to ensure restful sleep.

2. Manage Your Energy, Not Just Time

Identify peak productivity periods in your day. Allocate complex or creative tasks to those high-energy times, and save routine work for low-energy periods. This practice optimises your natural rhythms for maximum efficiency.

3. Practice Mindfulness and Stress Management

Take Short Breaks: Regular breaks prevent burnout and boost concentration. Even a five-minute pause every hour can refresh your mind.

Mindful Practices: Meditation or deep-breathing exercises reduce stress and improve focus. Incorporating these into your daily routine fosters mental clarity and emotional resilience.

4. Create a Healthy Work Environment

Ergonomic Workspace: Arrange your workspace to support good posture and reduce strain. Use ergonomic furniture and ensure proper lighting to prevent fatigue.

Limit Distractions: Reduce noise and digital interruptions to stay focused. Tools like “Do Not Disturb” settings and noise-cancelling headphones can help create a conducive work atmosphere.

5. Foster Mental Health

Set Boundaries: Separate work from personal time. Avoid checking work emails after hours to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

Stay Connected: Engage in positive social interactions at work. A supportive environment enhances motivation and reduces feelings of isolation.

6. Optimise Productivity Techniques

Batch Tasks: Group similar activities together to avoid frequent context-switching, which drains mental energy. This method enhances focus and efficiency.

Use To-Do Lists: Organise tasks by priority. Focus on completing high-value activities first to maximise your productivity.

By integrating these health-focused strategies into your daily routine, you can maintain physical well-being, reduce stress, and improve productivity, creating a sustainable path to professional success and personal fulfilment.