Do you feel like every single relationship you’ve been in has been toxic? No matter how beautifully things start, does the relationship become poisonous every time?

You might be the problem. It’s time to start reading the signs you’re the toxic one in the relationship.

If you’ve avoided self-reflection before because you’re worried about what you might discover, don’t. Because recognizing your role in souring your relationships is the first step toward fixing your future relationships.

“Awareness is the first step in making any sort of change” Susan Winter.

Once we’re able to be honest with ourselves and admit our shortcomings, then we’re one step closer to our recovery of wholeness and emotional health.

So here are some of the toxic things you may be doing to your partners, without even realizing it.

You have control issues

There is a difference between being a little bit bossy and being controlling. The difference is that being controlling is about exerting your power over someone . In relationships, being controlling changes the dynamic from being about loving someone to becoming about conquest, or testing your desirability. Relationships are just one more way for you to feel your own sense of power.

You always want things to go your way no matter what

We all want to get our way sometimes, and it’s important to have boundaries. The problem comes when you will do whatever it takes to get your way, even through manipulation or controlling behavior. If you find yourself feeling like your “relationships wouldn’t be any fun if the other person had their way then you are exhibiting some major toxic behavior.

You don’t respect your partner’s privacy

We all get tempted to check on our partner’s social media from time to time, but where it crosses the line is when you begin creeping on things they choose to keep private. This includes reading their email without permission or going through their phone secretly or insisting that they let you do so at any time. If it’s a matter of trust, then that is something you need to resolve with your partner in a healthy way, through better communication, or by splitting up. If it’s about control and a sense of ownership then that’s a sign of toxic behavior.

Always wanting your partner to be exactly the way you want 

It’s one thing to offer a partner advice on their life and choices, but it’s something else entirely to insist that they follow it.

You only care about your needs
How tuned into your partner’s wants and needs are you? Are you even aware of them? Are they a priority for you? If you answered no to those questions, you may be self-obsessed, a big factor in toxic relationships.