LIFESTYLE

4 Ways To Tackle Your Fear Of Abandonment

Published

6 years ago

March 26, 2019

Many people have fear of abandonment issues because they were abandoned earlier in life. It could have been a previous relationship, but likely the source is from childhood. The key is recognizing that the fear of abandonment exists.

See 4 ways to tackle your fear of abandonment;

Become emotionally self reliant

Your identity should never be solely tied to a relationship. It is part of who you are but it is does not define you. Make sure you can embrace these thoughts and know that you can be okay if you were to become single or alone. You do not base your worthiness on being in the relationship. Instead you are worthy because you are YOU and nobody else can be a better you.

Write about your abandonment

Writing about your abandonment is one way of uncovering all your feelings, emotions, and thoughts on this issue. If you are able to get them out on paper, you are helping your mind process through these fears and emotions. If you get emotionally stuck in this process or find that it is not helping enough, then find a therapist who can help you. One way or another you need to uncover and process these emotions in order to understand the root of your fear.

Own your feelings

Part of working on your mental well-being and all the things that are tied into it (self-confidence, intimacy issues, and anxiety) is owning how you feel.

It can be so easy to hide in the comfort of denial and not really accept that anything feels scary or worrying. While this feels nice in the short-term, it doesn’t do us any favors in terms of moving forward with our lives. Instead of jumping to cover up or hide your feelings, try to work on acknowledging them.

Let someone in

Big changes start with small steps. Teach yourself to trust again. Confiding in people doesn’t always mean sharing your deepest, darkest secrets; start by telling friends little details about your life that they don’t already know. By sharing information, you’ll strengthen your friendships and realize that people are interested and invested in your life.

Related Topics:4 Ways To Tackle Your Fear Of Abandonment Ways To Tackle Your Fear Of Abandonment

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ENTERTAINMENT

Tanzanian Singer, Juma Jux Dedicates Award To Fiancée, Priscilla Ojo

Published

16 hours ago

November 4, 2024

Reporter

Juma Jux Dedicates Award To Fiancée, Priscilla Ojo | fab.ng

Tanzanian artist Juma Jux delighted fans once again by publicly honouring his fiancée, Nigerian influencer Priscilla Ojo, popularly known as Priscy, during his acceptance speech at the Jaylia Awards.

Recently, the couple had expressed their longing for each other on Instagram after returning to their respective countries. However, they joyfully reunited just days before the event, where Juma Jux proudly received the award for Best Artist/Group Eastern Africa 2024.

In his acceptance speech, Juma Jux warmly acknowledged Priscy, referring to her as his “beautiful wife-to-be” and even pointed her out in the crowd. His heartfelt words drew applause from the audience and added a personal touch to the celebratory moment.

Priscy’s mother, renowned Nigerian filmmaker and businesswoman Iyabo Ojo joined in the celebration. She shared a video of the touching moment on Instagram to commend Juma’s achievement.

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A post shared by Queen Mother (@iyaboojofespris)

The romance between Priscilla Ojo and Juma Jux first sparked public curiosity in July when a video of the two dancing at a club went viral.

Following the video’s spread, Juma fueled speculation by sharing romantic photos of them on Instagram. This led Priscy to confirm their relationship in a comment where she vowed their connection would be “forever.”

Soon after, she officially shared the relationship news on her own Instagram, cementing their bond in the public eye.

In August, Priscy further solidified their relationship. She invited Juma Jux to Nigeria to celebrate his birthday, where her family greeted him warmly. Shortly after, Juma endeared himself to fans even more by releasing a love song dedicated to Priscy.

The song’s music video features the couple dancing intimately, with Juma captioning that he wrote the song specifically for them.

As a result, the track quickly gained popularity across social media platforms, inspiring the “Ololufe Mi Challenge.” Further, the couples joined in to celebrate their own love stories.

With each public display, Juma Jux and Priscy continue to captivate fans. This blends their cultures and passions into a love story cherished by many across East and West Africa.

Check out more updates here.

FASHION

5 Feminine Fashion Items Originally Made For Men

Published

1 day ago

November 3, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Female Fashion Items Originally Made For Men | fab.ng

Today, if you spot a man wearing high heels, a thong, and carrying a handbag, it might seem like he’s dressing in a very feminine way. Yet, these female fashion items originally made for men were once standard in men’s wardrobes.

In earlier eras, high heels, thongs, and handbags were functional and stylish choices for men, symbolizing status and class rather than gender expression.

Gender, as we understand it now, exists on a broad spectrum, where behaviours or styles often labelled as “feminine” or “effeminate” don’t belong exclusively to one gender.

Many traits and styles we consider feminine today have roots in male fashion, showing that what society defines as masculine or feminine has shifted significantly over time.

Here are five very feminine fashion items that were originally made for men:

1. High Heels

High heels are perhaps the most surprising item on this list of female fashion items originally made for men. Today, they are icons of femininity, yet their origins are deeply rooted in practical military use for men.

In the 10th century, Persian soldiers wore high heels to secure their feet in stirrups while on horseback, which allowed for better balance and accuracy in combat.

High heels made their way into European fashion in the 17th century when male aristocrats embraced them not only for practicality but also as a status symbol. High heels gave men an imposing height, adding a powerful edge to their appearances.

Over time, high heels evolved into symbols of sophistication and grace, becoming strongly associated with women’s fashion.

2. Handbag

5 very feminine fashion items originally made for men - Live Ghana TV

The handbag, a staple in modern women’s wardrobes, is another example of female fashion items originally made for men. In the early 1900s, hand-held bags were popular among men who needed a practical way to carry personal items.

Over time, designers began adapting these bags for women by adding feminine touches like closures, zippers, and multiple compartments, making them more functional and stylish.

By the mid-20th century, handbags had become an essential female accessory, reflecting the daily needs and lifestyles of women. This shift not only transformed the design but also redefined handbags as symbols of feminine fashion.

3. Thongs

Another surprising entry on the list of female fashion items originally made for men is the thong. Long before they became a popular choice of women’s underwear, thongs were worn by men, specifically designed to cover the private areas while leaving the buttocks exposed.

Archaeological evidence shows that thongs date back to around 42,000 BC in Africa, and similar garments were later seen in ancient Egypt, Greece, Crete, and Japan.

These early thongs were both functional and symbolic, often worn by men of higher status or those involved in athletic or ritual activities. Over centuries, this minimalist garment evolved, eventually becoming popular among women as a stylish and versatile undergarment.

4. Stockings

Stockings now considered a delicate, feminine accessory, were actually a male fashion staple for centuries. Consequemtly, this makes them another fascinating example of female fashion items originally made for men.

Dating back to the 9th century, men wore various forms of legwear, from breeches to pantyhose, primarily as practical garments for warmth and comfort. Stockings were commonly worn by men of the upper classes. They often wear white or vibrant colours to denote wealth and status.

Meanwhile, working-class men wore simple black stockings. By the 16th century, stockings were an essential element of a man’s wardrobe, showcasing his social standing and style. Over time, this style transitioned to women’s fashion, where stockings became a symbol of elegance and allure.

5. Menstrual Pad

Among the most surprising female fashion items originally made for men are disposable menstrual pads. Although primarily thought of as a product designed for women’s hygiene, the disposable pad has roots in military medicine.

Invented by Benjamin Franklin, these pads were initially developed to help injured soldiers stop bleeding more effectively. Their absorbent and easy-to-use nature caught the attention of nurses, who began using them as menstrual pads. They recognized their practical benefits for women’s hygiene.

This dual purpose led to the eventual evolution of the menstrual pad into a women’s health product. It transformed a wartime invention into an everyday essential for women.

Rethinking Masculinity and Femininity in Fashion

These five female fashion items originally made for men challenge the notion of fashion as being inherently “masculine” or “feminine.” Rather, the ways these items transitioned from male to female wardrobes reflect a shift in cultural attitudes and values over time.

Fashion remains a dynamic expression, evolving as society redefines gender norms and personal identity. In the end, these female fashion items originally made for men remind us that fashion has always been. Indeed, it continues to be, a rich blend of practicality, style, and self-expression.

OPINION

10 Ways To Let Go Of Negative Thoughts In A Relationship

Published

1 day ago

November 3, 2024

Adaeze Okechi

Letting Go Of Negative Thoughts In A Relationship | fab.ng

What causes negative thoughts in a relationship?

Negative thoughts in a relationship often arise when a partner says or does something that upsets you, and instead of addressing the issue openly, you bottle up those emotions.

Rather than having an honest discussion or a healthy argument to resolve the matter, you choose to internalize the hurt, allowing negativity to fester.

Several factors can lead to negative thinking in a relationship. This includes unresolved conflicts, poor communication, trust issues, past traumas, unrealistic expectations, or a generally pessimistic mindset from one or both partners. Each of these can strain the relationship and lead to further emotional distance if not addressed.

You must express your hurt or frustration openly, rather than letting those feelings build up into negative thoughts that erode the connection between you and your partner.

Keeping these emotions bottled up leads to misunderstanding and resentment, causing both partners to drift apart. If these issues remain unresolved, they can eventually cause the relationship to fall apart.

By tackling these negative patterns head-on, couples can rebuild their emotional bond and strengthen their connection.

Redirect negative thoughts in your relationship into positive, constructive ones by following steps that let you acknowledge, process, and then release them. Studies highlight a “magic relationship ratio” that can transform negativity into positivity, improving relationship satisfaction.

How to Overcome Negative Thoughts in a Relationship

Negative thought patterns can cast a shadow over even the strongest relationships. By understanding the root causes and implementing practical strategies, you can break free from these harmful cycles and cultivate a more positive and fulfilling connection.

1. Step Back and Regain Perspective

Recognize that your thoughts are not an intrinsic part of you. They are fleeting visitors that can be acknowledged and set aside without immediate reaction. By creating distance between yourself and negative thoughts, you gain a clearer perspective and realize their temporary nature.

2. Identify the Culprits

The first step to overcoming negative thoughts is to identify them. Pay attention to recurring patterns, such as self-doubt, resentment, or fear. Journaling or meditation can be helpful tools for uncovering the underlying causes of these thoughts, whether they stem from past experiences or present-day challenges.

3. Embrace Your Emotions

Many people suppress their emotions, believing that ignoring them will make them disappear. However, this approach can lead to increased stress and anxiety. Instead, allow yourself to feel your emotions fully. By acknowledging and accepting your feelings, you can process them healthily and let them go.

4. Express Gratitude and Release Control

Negative thoughts often serve as a protective mechanism, alerting us to potential threats. However, it’s important to balance this protective function with gratitude and acceptance. By appreciating the positive aspects of your relationship and releasing the need to control every situation, you can alleviate unnecessary stress and anxiety.

5. Seek Support and Gain Fresh Perspectives

Don’t hesitate to reach out to trusted friends, family, or a therapist for support and guidance. Sharing your concerns with others can provide valuable insights and alternative viewpoints. A therapist can offer professional advice and tools to help you overcome negative thought patterns and build a stronger relationship.

6. Practice Forgiveness and Let Go of Grudges

Holding onto grudges can poison your mind and your relationship. By forgiving your partner for past mistakes, you free yourself from resentment and create space for growth and understanding.

7. Prioritize Self-Care

To cultivate a healthy relationship, you must first nurture your own well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, practice self-compassion, and prioritize self-care. When you feel good about yourself, you’re better equipped to handle challenges and maintain a positive outlook.

8. Replace Negativity with Positivity

Challenge negative thoughts by consciously replacing them with positive affirmations. Focus on your partner’s strengths and express gratitude for their positive qualities. By consistently affirming the positive aspects of your relationship, you can rewire your brain to think more positively.

9. Harness the Power of Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation can help you quiet your mind, observe your thoughts without judgment, and let go of negativity more easily. Regular practice can promote emotional resilience and a healthier mindset.

10. Set Realistic Expectations

Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and frustration. Instead, set realistic goals for yourself and your partner. Remember that relationships are imperfect and require effort from both parties. By embracing imperfections and approaching challenges with patience and understanding, you can build a stronger and more resilient bond.

By implementing these strategies, you can transform your relationship and create a more positive and fulfilling future together.

Can negative thoughts ruin your relationship?

Yes, negativity can significantly damage a relationship. It can erode trust, breed resentment, and hinder open communication. Over time, constant negativity can create a toxic environment that stifles emotional intimacy and overall happiness.

What happens if your partner is too negative?

A consistently negative partner can strain a relationship to its breaking point. Their negativity can lead to increased conflict, decreased emotional intimacy, and a general lack of fulfilment. In severe cases, it can even lead to feelings of isolation and depression.

Negative thought patterns can create a vicious cycle, gradually eroding a once-healthy relationship. If your partner is unwilling to acknowledge their negative behaviour or respond to constructive communication, seeking professional help through couples counselling may be the best course of action.

This can provide a neutral space for open dialogue and help both partners develop healthier communication and conflict-resolution skills.

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