Sex in marriage is an important, sometimes even more important than we would dare to admit.

Are you with me on that?

Now, I have to say that I am a very romantic person and that, for me, emotions do come first.

However, even the most romantic ones do need a reality check from time to time, to remind us that we don’t have a soul only but a body too, and that we deserve to have both of them fed properly.

Emotions will feed your soul, food will keep the body functioning, but there’s one thing that can feed them both at once–sex.

So here’s some good reasons to engage in this activity tonight!

1. IT’S A STRESS RELIEF

Similar to other pleasurable activities and chocolate, sex makes our bodies produce happiness hormones.

It is a scientifically proved fact that couples who have a lot of stress practice this act of intimacy less often.

So, let your troubles aside and plan a romantic evening followed by this mood lifting activity.

Why not?

It will help you forget all those problems, you’ll fall asleep like a baby and you’ll have enough energy to face the next day feeling happy and rejuvenated.

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2. IT’S AN EMOTIONAL PROCESS

Yes, it is a physical activity but most men and women agree that there’s much more to it than just seeing stars and losing calories as a bonus.

You see, there’s a good reason why “having sex” is often replaced with “being intimate with somebody”.

Sex starts with romance and ends with romance because both genders feel the need to cuddle after it.

Furthermore, healthy sex life is a confidence boost for both genders: it proves that partners are still very much interested in all aspects of their relationship.

Did you know, for example, that couples who have sex often demonstrate more feelings?

They feel the need to touch, kiss and hug more often and have fewer problems with demonstrating this lovey-dovey behaviour in the public.

You know why?

It’s because sex makes the body produce more oxytocin, a hormone that makes us feel the need to love and trust somebody.

3. IT KEEPS OUR LADY HORMONES BALANCED

A night of passion can do much more than put a smile on a lady’s face.

You see, being sexually active actually means producing more estrogen.

And we all know what happens when your body stops producing this female hormone in optimal amount!

Practicing your lovemaking skills at least once a week delays menopause symptoms, regulates menstrual cycle and increases fertility.

Now, isn’t that one great reason to throw yourself on that sexy man of yours?

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4. IT REDUCES THE RISK OF CANCER

#Everything can cause cancer these days!

Active smoking, passive smoking, deodorants, paints and even some clothes!

Luckily, there’s one thing you can do to help prevent both breast and prostate cancer: engage in some old fashioned horizontal gymnastics!

5. IT HELPS YOU TO LIVE LONGER

Sex rejuvenates, heals wounds, makes you more flexible and less prone to various illnesses.

It’s a metabolism and immunity booster; reduces the risk of stroke; and fights the aging process too!

Add that positive, happy, sexy feeling your weekly supply of “Big O’s” will give you and you’ve just got yourself a perfect anti-aging method no lab could ever produce, bottle or sell!

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6. IT TARGETS ALL MUSCLES

Whoa!

This definitely sheds a different light on our regular at home exercise routine.

By the way, when I say all muscles, I really mean ALL of them.

You see, challenging him to come to play won’t only do wonders for your physical appearance, it’s also helps to do your Kegel exercises more efficiently in order to reduce the risk of incontinence later in life.

7. IT REDUCES PAIN

A headache is not a reason to refuse sex.

In fact, that’s the reason why you should have it!

When our emotional and happy hormones join forces during sex, pain has no other option but to run away.

So, the next time your partner says he has something to take the pain away, you better believe it’s true.

Yes, that is an excuse to get some, but hey, let’s not be petty.

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8. IT MAKES YOU WANT IT MORE EACH TIME

The more you have sex, the more you’ll want it.

Doing it will increase your libido, which means that you’ll want to have sex more often.

This occurs, because sex increases your blood flow and vaginal lubrication, which makes sex feel even better for you this time than it did the last time.

9. IT HELPS BLADDER CONTROL

Having sex works out your pelvic muscles.

So if you’re guilty of having to run to the bathroom every five minutes, having sex can be the cure you’ve been looking for.

The more orgasms you have, the stronger your pelvic muscles will become.

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10. IT IMPROVES SLEEP

Are you having trouble getting a good night’s sleep?

Well, all you need to do is have an exciting round of sex, and you’ll be snoozing in no time.

Orgasming releases a chemical in your body that relaxes you, which means it’ll be super easy to fall asleep in your lover’s #arms.

11. IT CREATES A GLOW

Women who have sex have a certain glow about them.

Studies have shown that women who have frequent sex actually end up looking younger than women who do not commonly engage in intercourse.

So if you don’t have enough cash for wrinkle cream, have some sex instead.

12. IT CAUSES LIGHTER PERIODS

The more you orgasm, the shorter your period will be.

When your pelvic muscles contract, it helps expel blood and tissue more quickly, which means your period will be over before you know it.

Those orgasms will even lower your risk of getting bad cramps!

13. IT HELPS YOU GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER

When you have sex with someone, they’re letting you see a side of them that not many people have seen.

That means you’re special!

Having sex helps you learn what makes your partner happy, and will let you know them better than anyone else does.

14. IT REDUCES RISK OF PROSTATE CANCER

You might not have to worry about prostate cancer, but your partner does.

If you want him to live a long, happy life then having sex with him can help make it happen.

You shouldn’t be focused only on the benefits of sex for you, but for your partner as well.

15. IT BURNS CALORIES

Not only will your muscles become toned, but you could lose some weight.

Losing 100 calories every half-hour or so doesn’t seem like much, but if you have sex multiple times a week, all of those calories will add up.

Instead of hitting the gym, you can just have some fun at home.

16. IT CAUSES HEALTHIER SKIN

If you’re unhappy with your complexion, sex could help.

A hormone called DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) is produced during intercourse and helps with a variety of things, including your skin.

So skip the dermatologist and hop into bed.

17. IT’S A HEALTHY RELEASE

When you’re in love with someone, you can’t get enough of them.

You want to show them how much they mean to you, which is hard to do.

That’s why sex is a great way to release your emotions and show him how much love you have.

18. IT HELPS YOU STAY SMART

Sex increases blood flow to the brain, which means that you’ll be more alert.

If you have a lot of work to do, having sex beforehand could actually help you.

It’ll make your brain sharper.

19. IT MAKES YOU HAPPY

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The point of being in a relationship is to make each other happy.

Sex is fun, so just relax and enjoy it!

You don’t need an excuse in order to engage in intercourse.

The fact that it makes you happy is all the reason that you need.

I guess whoever came up with the slogan “Make love, not war” was certainly a smart person.

Do you agree?

How often do you demonstrate your bedroom skills?

And there’s a little question I’ve been trying to answer for ages now: Do you think relationships without sex can last or they end as soon as people involved in them find somebody with whom they can have it all?

This article was written in collaboration with editor Holly Riordan.

Thank you for reading my article! Please share it!

When sex is no longer a priority is there an underlying relationship problem? Kenedy Singer open up and wonders: How important is sex in a relationship?

The importance of sex in a healthy relationship cannot be understated. Well, mostly.

See, as a guy, it’s definitely one of the most important things if not THE most important thing. It’s a primal thing, really. On the other hand, many women would say it’s just as important, but may be more likely to overlook the issue if everything else in the relationship is going well.

Here’s a simple way to sum things up: Men often choose a woman based upon the sex (or the prospect of it), and end up falling in love; while women generally choose a man based upon the love they feel, and end up enjoying sex. I know that “all” is a total generalization, but you get my point. Men tend to focus on sex. Women tend to focus on love.

But let me get personal here, I’m divorced. My ex is a lovely woman, whom I still love dearly. However, we had many challenges in our marriage. One of the byproducts of all that (though some might argue it to actually be the cause) is that we quit having sex. The effect of this on me was challenging. Often, I’d feel sexually frustrated and felt resentment towards my ex because we weren’t being intimate.

The implications of all these factors are big because sex is a deep and powerful form of intimacy. It bonds and connects two people in ways that few other things can. It’s beyond the mind. It’s beyond the body, too. There is a deep energetic connection that bonds two people when they make love.

It’s not just the intermingling of juices. It’s not even that two people shared an act of love with someone, that they most likely hold sacred. What’s really happened is that there has been a union between two people that transcends time and space. And we know it. Yet it’s very hard to quantify. Right? We all know how close we feel to someone after we have sex. That doesn’t mean it’s the magical elixir for all that might be off or dysfunctional in a relationship.

But, heck, it sure does mean that it helps bring us together. The term “makeup sex” is just that. It brings us closer. If you’ve had a hard day and your hackles are all up towards your partner, yet at the end of the day you go to bed and make love, then the chances are that you will soften towards them and feel closer after making love.

I know many women may be saying that they just can’t have sex when they don’t feel close to their partner. It’s a valid point. I’m not saying you should.

What I am suggesting is this: if you want to feel more connected to your partner but are allowing squabbles and minor disagreements set your emotional agenda, simply let this anger fall away. Consider that the simple act of saying “yes” to your partner, and to passion, may begin to shift the dynamic. If you’re both honoring each other correctly, sex will most likely help you feel closer to your love.

Back to my marriage, there were often times when we had fought or just felt distance between us. This continued on and on so that we continued to grow apart over time. It could have been different. Many experts approach relationship challenges from the “deficiency model.” In this model, they identify what isn’t working, and work to fix those problems.

Makes lots of sense, right? Something is broken, so go fix it. What doesn’t jive with this approach is that it doesn’t typically address what is the core issue—a solid foundation in the relationship.

Relationship expert John Gottman has done outstanding research on relationships and what makes them work. This is where Gottman is different. He doesn’t suggest fixing anything. Rather, his approach is all about creating a solid foundation in the relationship. One where both people feel a strong, deep bond between each other. In doing this, there is a stronger bond and a level of goodwill that flows. When your man comes home at the end of the day and is in caveman mode, you don’t take it personally. And when your woman just wants to talk and be heard, you are happy to listen because you know she just needs an ear.

In short, everything becomes easier. The little things just fall to the wayside. The big things are more easily handled, especially because there isn’t a backlog of resentment and anger over previous unresolved issues. Comprende?

So how do you do this?

Well, Gottman teaches much of this in his workshops and writing. I do suggest that if you haven’t read it yet that you check out his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert. It includes excellent tips and guidance on creating and sustaining intimate relationships. You don’t have to be married to learn immensely from this book.

And, yes, having a healthy sex life is part of all this. Keep this in mind too: there are many things you can do that are flirtatious, intimate and nourishing besides just the act of sex. Foreplay is lots of fun and definitely helps set the tone for better lovemaking. It for sure creates more emotional intimacy which strengthens the bonds of lovemaking.

Personally, I know that my failed marriage would have benefited enormously from more of the Gottman foundation-building work. We didn’t have the tools at that point though to go that route. It was sad to end a relationship with someone that I still had deep love for, but it was necessary. I’m hoping that you have and/or find the tools in your intimate relationships to foster a deep bond and foundation. And that you have a healthy and satisfying sex life with your partner!

I’d love to hear more about your experience of love and sex in your life, please feel free to comment.